Category Archives: Learning from our past

Ok. You lead.

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Aunt Agnes' buldingWhen our Nelson was two years old, he was dynamite, and I wasn’t the best mother for this headstrong, impulsive child, being a first-timer with no experience. For example, I remember one day when the two of us visited my aunt for lunch. She lived in a high-rise building on a busy four-lane street. After lunch, as we walked outside, little Nelson (who loved cars and trucks) saw the whizzing traffic and made a bee-line for the street.

Busy roads.“Nelson!” I shouted. “NELSON!” But he was a boy on a mission, passionate about pursuing his own plan, and didn’t look back. Dropping my bags and racing after him, I could see he was going to get to the street before I could get to him, and I was desperate to stop him.

Nate and I had tried to teach this little boy about the dangers of traffic. We’d done our best to lead him sensibly, counting on him to trust our wisdom over his own. But as all two year olds know, their personal agendas trump parental ones.

But what about us adults? Are we any different in our dealings with God? What does it take for us to set our own plans aside and sincerely say to him, “Ok. You lead.”

It’s very possible God sees us as we see our children. He has the ability to teach us how to live well and lead us one step at a time in that direction. And since he’s God, there’s no question his leadership is superior to ours. Despite that, though, we often choose to do our own thing rather than his.

None of us would argue with the idea that God is a fabulous leader, not just of individuals but also of families, churches, businesses, and governments. We can find a variety of scriptural examples showing us what happens when people follow his lead and what happens when they don’t.

“See those?” he says. “So how ’bout we do it my way?” And yet we still refuse.

It’s not that we doubt him as a leader. We all know he has both the ability and the longing to direct us perfectly. The problem comes with his one prerequisite: surrendering self-management. And even a two year old can tell you, that doesn’t come easy.

When Nelson was dashing pell-mell toward high speed traffic, I was frantic to stop him before he got hit by a car. All I could think to do was shout the only word I knew might stop him:

“CANDY!”

Nelson, ready to runNelson heard it, stopped at curb, and turned in my direction. It was just enough time for me to arrive and grab him, the perfect case of my leadership being superior to his. Surrendering his personal car-truck agenda for my candy-plan gave him the best outcome by far.

Now, if only the rest of us would routinely do the same with the Lord.

“We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do…. so that we will grow up healthy in God.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)

The Correct Analysis

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Nate wasn’t a natural handyman. He didn’t have a work bench in the basement and was mystified by power tools. But as needs arose, he was game to try.

A new toolI remember the day he returned from Home Depot toting a brand new chain saw. Admittedly it was on the small side, but he was determined to participate in cutting up firewood after Bervin and his boys, along with our boys, had cut down a tree. Once Nate got the hang of it, he didn’t stop until all the wood had been transformed into a neat stack of firewood.

That evening as we were getting ready for bed, he began complaining about pressure in his chest and pain down his arm. Thinking “heart attack,” we headed straight for the ER.

After making a thorough analysis of test data, the doctor on duty stood in front of us with his clipboard and said, “We just can’t figure it out. Your heart seems healthy. What’d you do today? Anything unusual?”

Both of us had failed to mention Nate’s afternoon partnership with a chain saw, and when we did, the mystery was solved. He’d worked so hard and long, his chest and arm muscles were having spasms, which then caused pain, which masqueraded as a heart attack. With lots of muscle relaxant and a few pain pills, we headed home, relieved at the simple diagnosis.

How often do we mentally leap to the worst-case-scenario? Sometimes we even do that in our spiritual lives. For example, we make a wrong choice, become overwhelmed with our own sin, and jump to the conclusion of, “Surely God doesn’t love me anymore, after what I’ve done.”

Or we make progress winning over a bad habit only to slip and have to start all over again. “I’m such a poor example of a Christian,” we tell ourselves. “God must be really disappointed in me.”

Or we try to tell someone about our faith and bungle it badly, leaving out important information and landing on the insignificant. Later we beat ourselves up and say, “Surely God sees me as more of a liability than an asset when it comes to sharing his Gospel.”

GraceBut all of those analyses are just as bogus as Nate’s and my diagnosis of a heart attack. These statements of self- condemnation are based on believing lies from the devil rather than truth from the Lord. Scripture tells us our God is a God of grace, and because of that, sin and failure can no longer judge us. (Romans 6:14)

An accurate acronym for the word “grace” is, God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense, and because he paid a very dear price, we are allowed to be on the receiving end of those incredible riches.

So, if we’re ever tempted to leap to heart-attack-style conclusions about our spiritual inadequacies, here’s one more acronym: Give Ridiculous Assumptions Clear-cut Endings.

“Where sin increased, grace increased all the more.” (Romans 5:20)

Is younger better?

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Recently Mary and I talked about what it’s like to be in our late 60’s. Our bodies don’t work as well as they used to, and we’ve become acquainted with the medical world in new ways. When we were young it would have been logical to think ahead to the ages we are now and predict that this is the way it would be, but we avoided that long-distance look.

All of us have a tendency to think that the way things are today is how they’ll be tomorrow. Day-to-day it seems to be true, but decade-to-decade, age-related changes show themselves.

Robert Browning.Robert Browning wrote a poem with an oft-quoted opening that put a positive spin on growing old:

“Grow old along with me!                     The best is yet to be.”

As a young woman I thought this was a charming statement but also that it stretched the truth. How could old age be “the best?” Maybe Browning meant that if his loved one and he remained together through the geriatric years, life would be good, or at least as good as it could be with age-related troubles.Today, just for fun, I looked up Browning’s poem, and it turns out those first two lines are actually the “bottom line” idea of a 32 stanza piece, but it has very little to do with how good life is going to be in old age. He zeros in on some of the losses of advanced years, but also points out the foolishness of thinking youthful years are automatically the best ones, just because bodies are at their best.

Instead, Browning’s poem is all about the soul.

He beautifully points out that both young and old ought to put less emphasis on the physical and more on the spiritual, telling us to take “hold of God who gives…” He says that a “body at its best” can’t do anything to propel the soul into a satisfying eternity.

That second line in his poem (“the best is yet to be”) refers not to good experiences with a true love on earth but to companionship with God in life after death:

Robert BrowningGrow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

Browning is right. Spending too much time dwelling on physical losses only frustrates us. It’s better to focus on soul-gains, not just the glorious eternity awaiting us (whether we die old or young), but on the spiritual gains we can make by reading and thinking about Scripture, learning how to walk in God’s ways, and enduring struggles with patience and joy.

So the next time Mary and I talk about feeling old, we’ll try to remember, “A whole God planned; youth shows but half.”

“Young men and young women, old men and children. Let them all praise the name of the Lord.” (Psalm 148:12-13)