Making Mistakes

The last time I traveled to England to visit Hans and his family, I worked hard preparing in advance. A month before the trip, I pulled out my biggest suitcase, balanced it on the arms of my bedroom chair, and propped it open. Each time I thought of something I wanted to take, I’d put it in the suitcase.

PackingThe night before departure, my big suitcase was full, as was a second one on the floor. But as I went down a mental checklist to be sure I had everything, I couldn’t remember what was in the bags. Had I packed my walking shoes? What about a Sunday outfit? An umbrella? My gifts for the grandchildren?

The only thing to do was unpack. I emptied both suitcases, spreading everything on the bed, and started over. Good thing, because half of what I’d packed was unnecessary, and several important things were missing.

Hans and Katy's.Today I’m writing from England, where I’ve joined Hans and his family of six for 11 lively days of work and play. This time I waited to pack until the night before. It was a good plan and worked well, a lesson learned from my mistake.

Several years ago when I came, I packed poorly for a different reason. It was the middle of October, and at packing time we were having a heat wave in Michigan. Without thinking, I packed according to the hot weather in my neighborhood without a thought to the cool October of north England.

When I got there, my bad packing was evident. I’d forgotten warm socks, long sleeves, and a cozy coat. After that goose-bump visit, I learned from that mistake, too.

Scripture is full of stories about people learning from their mistakes, most of them far more serious than badly packed suitcases. They resulted in ruined careers, destroyed marriages, divisions in families, damaged businesses, curses from God, and even deaths. The sad part is that people didn’t always learn from their mistakes.

That’s true of us, too. Whether we do or don’t learn from them is up to us. But because God want us to gain wisdom from wrongdoing, he often forces the issue by letting us push our way into additional messes. If we don’t learn the wisdom-lesson the first time through, we can be sure he’ll provide another run at it.

Every mistake is a let-down, but it’s also an opportunity.

If we put our lives in God’s hands, he can bring good not just from our positive actions but also from our negative ones. That’s just how he  chooses to do things, always thinking of our best good.

As for packing for England this time? I finally got it right.

Hand-holding“Stalwart walks in step with God; his path blazed by God, he’s happy. If he stumbles, he’s not down for long; God has a grip on his hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24  The Message)

You decide.

Brand newWhen a new baby comes into the world, his or her needs must all be met by someone else. Newborns have no ability to help themselves, and if a baby bottle of nourishing milk was lying an inch from his or her mouth but wasn’t fed by someone else, the little one would starve.

Because of that complete helplessness, parenthood is a massive undertaking. Moms and dads can choose to do a thorough job or none at all, though thankfully most choose wisely and care well for their little ones.

 

Deciding what she'll hearSlowly but surely children take over the pieces of their lives, starting with holding up their own heads. Later they sit, crawl, walk, and feed themselves. But for many years, what they see, hear, taste, and touch is controlled by parents.

Why did God set it up this way? Why are babies so helpless and parents so powerful?

Surely he wanted families to bond, and serving the needs of another is a good way to start. (Babies are especially good at forcing that one.) But the best possible reason God did it that way was his wanting us to mimic his fatherly role in our earthly parenting so we’ll better understand why he fathers the way he does. That reasoning works with both the pluses and minuses of a parent-child relationship.

As parents we learn to love our children intensely (as he loves us) and discipline them fairly (as he does us). We figure out how to provide for our kids (as he provides for us) and learn to let them make mistakes (as he does with us).

These parenting parallels and many others help us understand God and his ways a bit better than we otherwise might. Even if we haven’t had children, referring back to our own childhoods is a good way to better appreciate our bond with God the Father. And it’s especially helpful when life isn’t going our way.

TantrumWe don’t like the negatives, the same way a child doesn’t like to be told no. But when we consider that most of our no’s to children are for their own good, it gets easier to cooperate with (and eventually appreciate) God’s no’s to us.

And as we let our children pay the painful natural consequences of their decisions, whether it’s a toddler’s or a teen’s poor choice, it dawns on us that many of the messes we still get into as adults are our own doing, too. And God lets us foolishly move into them “for our own good.” Stumbling through miserable natural consequences of mistakes we’ve made is a guarantee we’ll do better next time.

Eventually our kids do grow into conscientious adults. We aren’t responsible for them after they turn 21, but as we all know, none of them are left out in the cold after they launch. Instead, God takes over from there. And what happens after that can be exciting to watch…. in their lives and in our own!

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)    [….which applies to the adult children of God, too!]

Toward the Light

Rosie Maple MothLast week was National Moth Week. Until I heard about it on the radio, I didn’t know there was such a thing. This year was the ninth annual, established by a handful of moth-loving people in an attempt to increase appreciation for the 160,000 different species of moths.

One of my children absolutely hates moths. When leaving the house after dark, Birgitta dashes through a multitude of fluttering wings on our front porch with screams of distaste and panic. “Get off me!” she shrieks, if one of them touches her.

Loving the light.“What exactly do you hate about them?” I said.

“Their furry bodies.”

“But aren’t they kinda fluffy-cute?”

“Absolutely not!” she said, shuddering.

Maybe the real reason moths are unloved is their nocturnal habits. They join bats, owls, and other scary creatures of the dark. Their butterfly cousins, flitting about in the sunshine, represent good luck and new beginnings. But moths? Tradition has them symbolizing “dangerous attraction leading to unhappiness.” After all, flying into fire to get close to a light is about as unhappy as it gets.

Toward the lightWhy would God program a moth to fly toward light? The answer is pretty interesting. Porch lights and fires weren’t his original intention. Instead, he wanted them to look up.

God gave moths the ability to calibrate their flight paths using the moon as their primary reference point. So the unsung moth should get a little appreciation for being aerodynamically sophisticated. But they get into trouble when they confuse porch lights or fires with moonlight. One expert put it this way: “A moth’s attraction to an artificial light or a fire could be related to orientation, which leads to dis­orientation since the moth wasn’t expecting to actually get to ‘the moon.’ Then confusion results.”

I think of how different this is from flying toward the Light described in Scripture. Jesus was and is the self-proclaimed “Light of the World.” The closer we get to him, the greater our benefits. Unlike a moth becoming disoriented by flying too close to a light, we become more clear-headed the closer we get to Jesus.

Light is light as far as a moth is concerned, and the one light God intended as their guide (the moon) isn’t always the one they follow. When they get burned, it’s too late. Watching this happen, we could take a lesson.

God intends for us to follow only one Light, too, but sometimes we become attracted to people or things that seem just as good as Jesus and his values. When we do that, we get every bit as disoriented as a zig-zagging moth.

Maybe National Moth Week is a good time to make an annual check of our light source. If we catch ourselves heading toward the wrong one, we could reorient ourselves toward the Light of the World and avoid getting badly burned.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)