I’ve been blessed with a remarkable sister, though I didn’t fully appreciate her until she left home for college. Although Mary and I palled around as little kids and walked a similar path through childhood, by the time we hit our teens we realized how different we were. Walking the halls of New Trier High School, we often passed without even acknowledging each other. I had my friends, and she had hers. I had my room, and she had hers. I had my clothes, and she had hers.
The real truth was I knew I could never live up to her reputation as “the good child,” but eventually her goodness worked in my favor. Proverbs says we should be careful who we hang with, because eventually we’ll become like them. Hanging out with Mary has tugged me “up” for nearly 7 decades.
After she left for college, I missed her more than I thought I would. We began writing letters to each other, a habit that lasted through “the mobile years” when we were attending college, getting married, moving frequently, and having babies. When our two families landed 4 miles apart for the long haul, face-time replaced letter-writing, and our 14 children were raised in a happy pack of sibling-like cousins.
Watching my sister up close in her roles as wife, mother, mentor, friend, worker, grandmother, and volunteer gives me an appreciation for her that began after high school and has grown ever since. I’ve accepted that I’ll never live up to her good reputation but because of that, I count her as one of my greatest blessings. And she isn’t just “my” sister, since she shares sister-like relationships with many others.
One thing all of us have gained by being close to Mary has been her pithy sayings, things like, “God doesn’t call the equipped; he equips the called.” She seems to have a nutshell-statement to fit every situation, each one linked with the wisdom of Scripture.
For example, tonight we shared a meal and then spent time organizing a 4th of July picnic. Moving from there into the rest of July and then into August, we met with frustration as we tried to put specifics on the calendar. One event bumped into another, and we couldn’t synchronize dates because of overlapping commitments, company coming and going, and travel schedules.
Finally Mary made one of her frequently-quoted, very useful statements: “Let’s let a little more time go by.” She (and now I) have said this so many times, it might be a fitting epitaph on our tombstones. It’s a way to lift immediate pressure and terminate whatever frustrating activity is going on at that moment. Then she added, “If we plan too much tonight, lots of it will unravel anyway, before we get there.”
At first glance, that sounds un-scriptural, but we talked it over, and sure enough, it’s in the Bible: “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.” (Matthew 6:34)
Amen, and let’s have dessert.
