Making a Good Impression

Wet CementBookstore shelves are loaded with parenting titles, but the one I like best is a 1979 book by Anne Ortlund: CHILDREN ARE WET CEMENT. It’s a powerful statement with accurate parenting implications.

When workers poured the concrete for our patio 28 years ago, our five children each pressed their palms into the wet cement, along with a quarter from their birth years. I pressed in a penny dated that year, 1986, next to the line-up of hands, to mark the date those childhood palms were set. As soft as the concrete was when we touched it, shortly thereafter it became rock-hard and has been that way ever since. Without the use of a jack-hammer, the hand impressions are permanent.

As children arrive into our families, they’re soft and impressionable, “wet” with potential. Parenting them is the most important assignment we’ll ever get, a serious responsibility given to us by the Person who created every baby and has specific plans for each life. The way we live in front of them leaves a permanent mark.

While spending time with my grandchildren this week, I’ve seen again how supple the mind of a child really is. Children spend the lion’s share of their waking hours imitating the rest of us. If we open a kitchen drawer, as soon as we close it, a watching child opens it again, following our example.

Little ones don’t need a reason to imitate us. They do it instinctively. We own the power to be examples for good or evil, an enormous responsibility that should cause us to keep our lives clean as we go along.

Modeling well in front of one and two year olds is easy. In front of teenagers it’s more difficult.

InfluencingBut we do our best, because we want to give our children the strongest possible springboard into adulthood. Despite multiple failures and a list of if-only’s, we keep trying. Knowing we’re being carefully watched is a strong motivator!

As a child of God, I wonder if I’m carefully watching Jesus in the same way. Do I study his life and try to emulate him? Or do I dismiss that possibility, knowing I could never match him? Jesus instructed us to watch what he did, then copy it. Do I?

Of course I’m going to fall short, just as children fail to duplicate adult behavior. But that doesn’t keep them from trying, and the same should be true for me. Although I’ll never be able to exude the fruit of the Spirit as flawlessly as Jesus did, with practice I can improve.

Watching my grandchildren try, fail, and keep trying encourages me to do the same.

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:14-15)

Our Rescuer

Nate’s family came from western Illinois, mine from the Chicago area. Once we had children, we made good use of route 80, our link between four loving grandparents.

I remember one summer when Nate and I took our then-five children to visit Grandma and Grandpa Nyman, 210 miles from home. We were able to stay an extra night when Nate decided he could take a train directly to Chicago’s Loop early Monday morning. The five kids and I would follow on Monday afternoon in the family car, a robust Jeep Cherokee.

Blue-CherokeeAfter waving goodbye, we started down route 80, the car windows open and the music playing loudly on the cassette player. Our children, ages 12, 10, 8, 4 and 2, were all enjoying the trip when we pulled off for gas and a bathroom break. But as the Jeep slowed, we heard a raucous banging coming from under the hood.

I pulled into a little country station in Rock Falls and left the motor running, hoping a mechanic would listen to the racket and tell me how to stop it. His news wasn’t good. “Lady,” he said, “when you turn that engine off, it’ll never start again.”

I thought he was joking, but apparently the car had run out of oil. Parts had broken off inside the engine and were crashing against each other. I considered filling the gas tank without turning the car off and resuming our trip. After all, it was still running.

While the kids raced around the gas station and the car continued to pound, I called Nate at his Chicago office. He squelched my idea to keep going and said, “Park the car wherever the gas station guy tells you, and then turn it off. I’ll come and pick you up.”

Rock Falls.He said that without hesitation, as if Rock Falls wasn’t over 100 miles from his office. Coming to “pick us up” was going to ruin his business day and put him behind the wheel for four hours.

But this is what love does. It rescues.

I like to think of Jesus in that light. He loved us so thoroughly, he made the ultimate sacrifice to rescue us, laying down his life. He could have said, “Human beings are a big disappointment and aren’t worth saving.” But his actions said the opposite.

On that summer day in Rock Falls, I’ll never forget the rush of joy we all felt when Nate’s black Lincoln came into view and turned into that tiny gas station. The 7 of us, along with four suitcases, squeezed into his car with a spirit of celebration and gratitude. Our rescuer had come.

An important question to ask myself is, do I have that same spirit of celebration and gratitude toward the grandest Rescuer of all time?

“Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world.” (Galatians 1:4)

Rush to Judgment

photo 2This week we experienced the fun of a completed deck in our back yard. Michigan Lake and Land did an expert job, cutting no corners and satisfying my every whim. They cooperated with all my ideas, everything from building a weather-proof room beneath the deck to designing two super-sturdy baby gates that “disappear” into deck fencing when they’re locked in place.

photo 1I’ve kept my eye open for reasonable deck furniture, nothing cushy, just tables and chairs that will rain-wash well. Two second-hand tables got face-lifts with fresh paint, and I couldn’t wait to set it all up.

Once the white paint had dried (in the basement), I turned each painted piece a bit each day for a full week, making sure every edge was dry so not one drop of paint would end up on the deck.

Stepping up Then this weekend, it was time to assemble it all. After carrying each piece to the deck, I was appalled to see drops of paint on every other step and scattered at random on the boards. Squatting to see if it was, indeed, wet paint, I was crushed when the drops smeared beneath my finger.

How could that have happened after I tried to be so careful? And how was I going to get the paint off the boards without ruining the stain?

Then God answered my questions. A big bird flew overhead, letting go of a liquid deposit that landed right next to me, a white splotch that splattered just enough to toss random drops here and there. The paint spots, it turned out, weren’t paint at all, just white bird-do, an easy-off with a wet rag.

My rush to judgment was typical me, sizing up a situation without all the facts. It isn’t serious when dealing with a deck, but in the case of a person, it can be disaster. Most scenarios aren’t what they first seem, and if we refrain from drawing quick conclusions about someone, new (and usually helpful) information always surfaces.

The Lord perfectly modeled how not to judge prematurely by not doing it with us. Instead of rushing to judgment (even though he actually has all the facts), he waits patiently till we figure it out on our own.

Let's eat...Jesus mentions in Scripture that he prays for us, and surely some of those prayers are that we’ll come under conviction as needed. He doesn’t bring down the hatchet too early but hopes instead we’ll voluntarily change whatever needs changing. Eating humble pie might be part of it, and though that never tastes good, it can nourish us well.

I certainly jumped to the wrong conclusion about my blemished deck, but I do think it’s accurate to say that bird won’t repent or change his behavior. No matter. It was an easy fix with a wet rag…. followed by a thorough hand washing.

Ready for conversation“Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.” (John 7:24)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Pray for tomorrow’s chemo #9. Your prayers are holding back the nausea!
  2. I’m praising God that after tomorrow, I’ll be half way through!