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To the Extreme

Posted on December 15, 2013 by Margaret

The latest TV craze is focused on the word “extreme”: Extreme Sports, Extreme Makeover, Extreme Weight Loss, Extreme Cheapskates, Extreme Games, Extreme Chef, and so on. The word “extreme” implies intensity, excess, even severity. People are no longer happy just watching “normal” or “regular.” Abnormal is better, even if it means people might be harmed or humiliated.

This new trend, however, has nothing on young children. They’ve always done everything to the extreme.

Take Emerald, for example. Pulling one tissue out of the box isn’t enough. She wants them all, and not just to set them aside, but to crumple them. And toilet paper? If rolling out a little is fun, doing the whole roll is even better.

But children aren’t the only ones. We adults often forsake the middle ground for the extremes, too. As a first year elementary school teacher in Chicago, I remember giving up healthy lunches to eat cookies instead. They partnered well with coffee and satisfied my sweet tooth. But 2 or 3 didn’t satisfy, so I usually ate half a bagful and saw nothing wrong with that. Surely that was extreme.

It’s probable that once we’re settled in at one extreme or the other, we can get comfortable there, which is the reason our culture needs so many Twelve Step programs. We become so used to living in max-mode that we need help learning how to do it a different way.

So, what is God’s point of view on all this? Is he against living in the extremes?

No. He actually wants an extreme commitment from us, a commitment to worship him, bow down to him, humble ourselves before him, forsake all other gods in favor of him. Since this sounds like too much of a good thing, something we could never accomplish, he gave us a model: his Son Jesus.

When Jesus was asked what motivated him to do the things he did, he said, “The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” (John 5:19) Now that’s extreme. And though we can’t do it to perfection like he did (especially the part about never sinning), if we pursue extreme devotion to him, the result will be a more upright life along with lots of inner peace.

And getting back to the way children often take things too far, there is an up side. When it comes to Christmas time, little ones oooh and aaah over every decoration and string of lights. Their mouths drop open and their extreme pleasure comes out in gasps or squeals.

Wouldn’t God be pleased if our amazement over him was just that extreme?

Jesus said, “I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” (John 5:30)

Seasonal Sisterhood (Conclusion)

Posted on December 5, 2013 by Margaret

Yesterday we met 3 women befuddled by the crush of holiday preparation, and I promised we’d look at ways to manage over-commitment in today’s post. Below are 10 suggestions I’ve used, and maybe you readers will offer many more in your comments. The Seasonal Sisterhood needs to stick together!

1. Instead of buying gifts for everyone on your list, divide your gift-receivers into related groups and pick names, one apiece. Buying one nice gift is easier, cheaper, and quicker than purchasing 10 small ones. Our 7 children have done this for years.

2. If your family wants home baked cookies, choose a morning and invite a couple of friends over, with or without children. Ask them to bring their favorite cookie dough, ready for baking. This is a time to talk and laugh together while getting the baking done. Everybody takes home the cookies made with the dough they brought. This became a fun holiday tradition for us.

3. If you’re hiring a babysitter, pick her up one hour earlier than you need her. Drive to a well lit parking lot and use those 60 minutes to slow yourself down. Listen to holiday music with your eyes closed. Read a book. Revise your lists. Pray. Or take a nap. This was often a sanity-saver for me.

4. Resist the temptation to work into the night while your family sleeps. A rested worker is an efficient worker.

5. Cut your Christmas card list in half by eliminating those who don’t reciprocate. If they miss hearing from you, you might hear back from them for the first time in a long while.

6. When you sign up to help at school, church, or in the neighborhood, remember that if you say no, others will come forward with a yes.

7. When you invite people over and they ask what they can bring, have your list ready. They and you will enjoy the evening more with the contribution, and you can share recipes.

8. Wrap all your gifts in the same decorative paper and ribbon. It becomes a signature look and makes a unique holiday display in your home before you distribute them.

9. Pay the children to haul out decorations and put them up. They’ll be wonderfully creative while earning money to buy Christmas gifts for others. Remember to brag on your kids when guests notice your unusual decorating.

10. Check with good friends about exchanging gifts again this year. Maybe it’s become a burden for both of you, and each would appreciate being let off the hook. Share a simple meal instead.

* * * * * * * *

As for the “sister” who ran into Target without turning off her car, she came flying out of the store with her purchase just as I was going back in. When she drove away, she passed me, and I saw a sleeping toddler in the back seat. She had taken a big chance, which shows how desperate The Sisterhood can get.

May we honor our Savior’s coming by saying no to over-commitment and yes to more of him. Just like Jesus’ mother Mary, let’s take time to ponder.

“Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.” (Luke 2:19)

Seasonal Sisterhood

Posted on December 4, 2013 by Margaret

Unlike most women, I don’t like shopping, not for clothes, food, household items, or anything else. It’s time-consuming and often unfruitful, which then requires a second day’s effort on the same task. The result of all my negativity is that by the time I finally venture out with a list, there are 8 or 9 stops on it, almost enough to debilitate a non-shopper. And during the holidays? The list covers both sides of the paper.

My irritability showed recently as I walked into Target, ready to tackle item #6. Taking time for a quick bathroom stop, I stood in front of the red door pushing the button on my car key’s remote control.

When it wouldn’t open, I stretched my arm out straight, much like a TV watcher, clicking my “unlock” button like crazy. It was the word “PUSH” printed on the door that straightened me out, and I wondered how many people behind me were enjoying a good laugh.

When I finally had a cart, I realized I’d left my list on the car dashboard. But heading back to the parking lot, I found out there were other shoppers worse off than me. A woman two parking spots down was in such a hurry she jumped out of her car, slammed the door, and raced toward the store without turning off her engine. I decided to get in my car and wait a minute to see what would happen.

As I sat there, another holiday shopper pulled into the spot in front of me. Then she did something funny. She wrapped her arms around her steering wheel like she was giving it a hug, putting her face on her arms. Was she crying? Napping? Praying?

Deciding she just needed a moment, I left her alone and headed back to Target, this time with my list. Immediately inside a woman was wrestling her cranky toddler into a cart, his pajamas sticking out from under his jacket. Her preschooler was standing next to her, also still in pj’s.

These women all belong to The Sisterhood of the Over-Committed when it comes to Christmas prep. It’s the extra baking, entertaining, gift-wrapping, decorating, addressing Christmas cards, and for moms of school children, attending programs, keeping track of holiday clothes, parties, grab bag gifts, and teacher presents that make December an over-committed month. It’s what brings women together in a Target parking lot, all of whom have been pressed to the point of acting irrationality.

God is hoping the birth of Jesus will be our #1 priority at this time of year, not just in our hearts but in our actions.

But when we get spread too thin, much of the joy he wants us to experience evaporates, and we can’t wait for the season to end. Surely this isn’t the way to celebrate our Savior’s arrival.