Category Archives: Life’s disappointments

The Cafeteria Line

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The cafeteria line.It’s the second day of a new year, and our resolutions may have already gone by the wayside. Most eventually do.

Part of the problem is that we reach too high. It’s like pushing a food tray along a cafeteria line and piling more on our trays than we could ever eat.

The temptation to over-resolve happens frequently in these categories, which are the most popular resolutions people make:

  • to lose weight
  • to stop smoking
  • to get out of debt
  • to exercise more
  • to eat better
  • to save money

It’s interesting that this list of six is really just two:

  • Improving health
  • Improving finances

Apparently these are the areas in which most people need the most change. And we can boil down these two even further, to only one: Giving God control of our lives. If we resolve to do this, he’ll help us with the other two… or six… or ten.

Becky TirabassiI remember reading the dramatic testimony of Becky Tirabassi. She’d been a “bad girl” for years before connecting with Jesus Christ, and after making a resolution to spend one hour each day seeking him, her life turned around. Years later an interviewer said, “How do you stay so trim and fit as you get older?”

 

Her response: “Have you forgotten I spend an hour a day with the Lord?”

In other words, regular time with God was what helped her succeed in the other areas of her life. Scripture corroborates that, telling us if we put him first, everything we need to live successfully will come to us, through him.

The trouble is, we resolve to submit to God but then do it the full-cafeteria-tray way. How big are our desires compared to the size of what we can actually do? We need to remember that progress is made using the same trick that works in keeping any resolution: doing it in bits and pieces.

A first step to letting God have control might be to spend 3 minutes breathing out a prayer as we sit on the edge of the bed each morning. If our first conscious thoughts are directed toward God, we’re off to a good start. By the end of the week we’ve spent 21 minutes in prayer, and by the end of the month, 1½ hours. That small resolve will yield big spiritual gains.

Or maybe submitting to God means reading the Bible in a year, but that might be too much spiritual food on our cafeteria tray. It would be better to tackle smaller amounts, say reading from an open Bible on the bathroom sink while getting ready for the day. It might be just a few minutes, but it would be regular and would amount to a growing appetite for God’s ways.

ResolutionsPollsters tell us fewer and fewer people make resolutions each year; last year 68% made none. And of the 32% who tried, more than half failed.

But why line up with those negative statistics? Spiritual resolutions, no matter how small, can ultimately lead to life-changing results.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:33)

Sticking With It

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Moody Christmaas concertEvery December I have bulldog determination to do one thing: attend a Christmas concert with a big choir and a full orchestra. Thankfully opportunities abound, and last weekend I was privileged to be at Moody Church to hear an extravaganza of glorious music, everything from “Let it snow!” to the “Hallelujah Chorus.”

We found seats in the balcony, front row, looking straight down on the violin section of the orchestra. Watching those musicians play with vigor made me wish I hadn’t given up violin lessons when I was 13.

ViolinsWhat joy it would have been to play in such a group, but my orchestra experience will always be limited to the one I had in junior high school. Though I never made it to the first violin section, playing in that assortment of “newbies” was still a special pleasure.

Sadly, I stuck with violin lessons for only 2 years and didn’t even learn how to wiggle my fingers into a vibrato. My teacher was as irritated with me as I was with him, probably because every week I pestered him to let me do the wiggling thing. “You’ve got to get better at the basics first!” he’d say, completely exasperated with me.

When it was time to begin my 3rd year of lessons, I told Mom I didn’t want to continue. After too many arguments over skimpy practice time, she was happy to comply, and she sold my violin within a week, a sure sign she’d been as frustrated as I had.

Most adults have a music-regret to match mine. After we begged our parents for weeks, they finally gave in and generously provided funds, transportation, time, and an instrument. We began with gusto, but not long into the commitment, enthusiasm was replaced with practice battles. Eventually the option to quit became everybody’s first choice, though parents didn’t let us give up without a lecture and one last jab: “You’ll be sorry!”

Listening to those violinists at Moody Church, I knew they’d been right.

But middle school kids are still learning accountability for their actions and make lots of mistakes. We older folk know by harsh experience that quitting when commitments get tough becomes an unattractive character trait we’d rather not have. No one wants to be known as a quitter. It’s better to be someone who does what she says she’s going to do.

Violin ornament.God is the ultimate pro at this, doing everything he says he will, and since he’s God, that covers millions of pronouncements, promises, and predictions. If we want to be more like him, we need to practice keeping our commitments. When we feel like quitting, we should ask him for fresh perseverance, because he’s promised to help us cope.

And he keeps all of his promises.

“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Frozen Solid

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Last weekend we reached the middle of December, and in southwest Michigan we’ve had 3 snowstorms with colder-than-usual temps. It’s the kind of weather that makes us start the car 10 minutes ahead of departure to let it warm up.

A frozen beachAt the beach, ice-dunes have begun to build, and the creek has morphed into a skating pond. None of us were ready for winter’s fast arrival, and we hadn’t even brought home all of our beach chairs yet.

Frozen solidYesterday, while waiting at the bank drive-through, I saw a perfect picture of winter’s speedy onset. A gutter drain had frozen solid right in the middle of emptying itself.

Sometimes “cold experiences” come to us just as fast and unexpectedly. We might get the cold shoulder from someone we were close to, unable to figure out how we got in the relationship deep-freeze. We don’t know what to do next and feel blocked from reconciling, frozen in our tracks, so to speak.

“The relationship has gone cold,” we say, as we experience icy rejection.

Sunday morning at church a friend in her 80’s was describing how she struggles with the cold, especially with ice beneath her unsteady feet. Suddenly she straightened herself and said, “Well, spring can’t be far behind.” Chuckling, she walked away, leaving me with a furrowed brow.

“That’s crazy talk,” I thought. “It’s not even officially winter yet!”

What she meant, though, was that in the midst of the freezing-cold weather, she knew for sure her future was going to include warmth and ice-free walking.

The same can apply to our cold relationships. Though circumstances seem frozen and we think they’ll never thaw, God has a few suggestions for warming things up. He says, “First of all, pull Me into the mix. Just as I insist every harsh winter eventually give way to spring, I know how to thaw cold relationships and can teach you how.”

He doesn’t say it’s easy, but here are 10 of his surefire ways to melt icy situations and bring relationship-springs:

  • Talk in a soft voice. (Proverbs 15:1)
  • Speak evil of no one. (Titus 3:2)
  • Never avenge yourselves, but leave that to God. (Romans 12:19)
  • Never be irritable or resentful. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
  • With a tender heart, forgive each other. (Ephesians 4:32)
  • Show perfect courtesy toward all people. (Titus 3:2)
  • Never be arrogant or rude. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
  • Be open to reason, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)
  • Never repay evil for evil. (Romans 12:17)
  • Don’t insist on your own way. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Frozen creekIf we follow these biblical guidelines, even those relationships that are frozen solid will experience a warming trend soon.

”Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’  Then you will shine…. like stars in the sky.” (Philippians 2:14-15)