An Empty Feeling

Hans and KatyOur son Hans lives in England full time and is married to Katy, who was born and raised there. He first encountered Katy on a 5 month mission trip based in New Zealand, and by mid-way through those weeks, he knew she was the one-and-only for him.

Nate and I worried it might only be the equivalent of a summer camp romance that might fade after they returned to their native countries, but just the opposite happened. They’ve had a strong, Christ-centered marriage for 6 years now.

Shirt-tail Relatives

We four parents enjoyed developing relationships, too, experiencing many common bonds as we got to know each other. Cliff was a city lawyer like Nate, and both loved history. They, too, had a large family (5 children), and Sarah was an at-home mother, investing heavily in hearth and home as I had. Best of all, we related through our faith in Christ.

I remember our first visit to Katy’s childhood home. Sarah, who has always baked the family bread from scratch, had a stove/oven like I’d never seen before. Her “aga” was a wonder, always “on” with higher heat in some compartments than others. There was no temperature dial, but Sarah knew where to put her bread, where souffle cooked best, and where to gently warm leftovers.

An aga stove and oven

Since Sarah chose not to have a dishwasher, the stainless bar across the front of the aga served as an ideal place to dry dish towels. Their well-used tea towels depicted places of interest the family had been, and I liked spreading them out to see. It didn’t take long for Sarah and I to establish a tea towel appreciation club of sorts, and since we first met, we’ve been sending interesting towels back and forth across the ocean.

Two weeks ago, a mysterious 6” X 9” envelope appeared in my mailbox with Sarah’s return address on it and nothing inside. Along with the customs stamp, air mail sticker, and “Royal Mail” label was a red ink stamp from our local post office: RECEIVED WITHOUT CONTENTS. No explanation was given.

Empty envelope

From Sarah’s note on the customs sticker I saw she’d written “linen” and knew I’d missed out on another tea towel, along with a meaningful note that surely accompanied it. The empty envelope made me feel empty inside.

Life is full of empty experiences, most of them far more serious than an empty envelope. The Bible actually tells us to expect that kind of thing. Whether Sarah’s tea towel disappeared by accident or a misdeed we’ll never know, and “why-answers” about life’s other empty experiences usually aren’t forthcoming either.

But there is satisfaction in knowing that every empty feeling of human experience will one day be filled by God. And I believe (just for the fun of it) that he’ll even let us know what happened to Sarah’s missing tea towel.

“Your throne, O God, endures forever and ever. You rule with a scepter of justice.” (Hebrews 1:8)

I wanna do it!

Emerald loves to help in the kitchen. Never mind that she’s only 7 months old. When I cut up my stir-fry veggies, she likes to sit in her Bumbo on the counter next to me, banging the broccoli against the counter-top or washing the pea pods with her drool.

Emerald assists in the kitchen

If I’m holding her when I open the refrigerator, she lunges toward its contents, fascinated by the variety of colors and shapes inside. This afternoon I decided she could help as I put food away and set her Bumbo in front of the fruit and veggie drawers. She happily banged them open and closed, sucked on the bag of mini-carrots, and rattled the salad dressing bottles overhead.

No doubt Emerald thinks of herself as wonderfully capable and wonders why she isn’t allowed to do everything the rest of us do. But of course there are several problems. She’s inexperienced, unqualified, and incapable. None of that stops her, though, from wanting to try.

When our Louisa began learning to put words together, one of her first (and oft-repeated) sentences was, “I wanna do-it!”

I wanna do it...

At age two, she wanted to accomplish things with skills she thought she had but didn’t. We all saw the disparity, but of course she couldn’t understand. Her desire was strong, and when we wouldn’t let her try something we knew she couldn’t handle, her objections were loud and long. But having a big dose of want-to isn’t enough to accomplish something beyond our capabilities.

How many times do we adults proceed just like baby Emerald or toddler Louisa, ill-equipped to handle a task but diving into it anyway? We think, “Somehow it’ll all work out in the end.” And when it doesn’t, we end up more frustrated than at the beginning.

Scripture says we should count the cost before starting any endeavor, and if we aren’t able to pay the necessary price, we shouldn’t start. This can be a discouraging place to be as we’re forced to wait before taking action, but what we can do while we’re waiting is work to become fit for the undertaking.

I think of the way God works in people’s lives and know we should imitate that. He usually takes his time putting all the pieces in place before unveiling his plans for us. That’s why it seems so long between our prayer requests and his answers. He doesn’t rush to get things completed in a hurry, and he never panics, but instead proceeds in an orderly way. We should determine to do the same, programming planning-pauses into our lives.

Baby Emerald will gain in skill as she gains in months, and toddler-Louisa has grown into a capable young adult. But all of us have to learn (one way or another) that when we “wanna do it right now,” our timing could very well be off.

And if we need to talk it over with someone who understands, Emerald is usually available.

“Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” (Romans 8:24-25)

Travel Advice

Every once-in-a-while I find myself driving through our old neighborhood in Illinois, a “country” suburb of half-acre lots with room for children to roam. Although I can’t freely turn into my old driveway as I did for nearly 30 years, I have pulled in next-door for visits with my good friend Becky.

Becky D

For 22 years we shared the same lot line and were friends from our first meeting at the swing set with our babies, to the farewells after our moving van pulled away. My husband died of cancer several months after we left the neighborhood, and 6 months after that, Becky’s husband passed away, also of cancer. (See “Hi, neighbor!”) Despite living on opposite sides of Lake Michigan now, we’ve been united in heart while sharing a call to widowhood.

The year after our men died, both of us did a great deal of traveling. It wasn’t so much planned as just what happened, and it wasn’t always easy. One day I received an email from Becky (written 3 years ago) while on a trip to Europe with some of her family. Because I believed her thoughts were Spirit-inspired, I saved it.

She wrote:

“I’m trying to develop the discipline it takes for me to travel with my faith. There are quite a few Scriptures that use the visual of putting on faith as a garment. Romans 13:14 says, ‘Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ.’ Colossians 3:12 says, ‘Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.’”

Becky’s faith-discipline efforts began even before she left home: “My first faith-choice was packing my suitcase,” she wrote. “I had purchased a smaller, lightweight Bible for traveling, but it didn’t sit well in my heart to leave my beloved big Bible behind. The Holy Spirit reminded me that my make-up bag was just as big and heavy as my Bible, and I would never leave that behind! So in went my big Bible.”

She continued, writing from a hotel room in France: “It’s been tricky carving out prayer and meditation time, and time to read God’s Word, when it would be easier to wake up and jump right out to the streets of Paris! Traveling depletes me quickly, because I easily get distracted from my faith-routine. It’s actually scary how fast it happens away from home, in strange lands, surrounded by folks who may not yet share my faith.

“My choice for each day, though, is to clothe myself in his Word before venturing out sightseeing, because I know when we return, I’ll be depleted again, needing more time to rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Travel plans

Today Becky’s wise travel advice has been reverberating in my ears, since I bought a plane ticket to England to meet my soon-to-be-born grandbaby. And I want to remember that nothing I pack will be more important than putting in my faith-garments.

 

 

“I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness.”  (Isaiah 61:10)