Category Archives: Life’s disappointments

Dazed for Days

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The storm forms.Oklahoma is not OK. After Monday’s 2 mile wide, 210 mph tornado tore through a suburb of Oklahoma City, a 22 square mile piece of civilization was no more. News reports this morning used the word “dazed” in reference to the way citizens were feeling. After viewing photos, I see why.

Oklahoma is famous for frequent tornadoes, but no one could say they’d ever seen one like this. Even storm chasers, familiar with nature’s fury, were suffering from PTSD when it was over. “People are wandering around like zombies,” reporter Scott Hines said. “It’s like they’re not realizing how to process what just happened.”

Rescued!

Although two schools and a large medical center were beyond repair, thankfully the death toll wasn’t as severe as originally feared. But even for those who came through the storm without injury, recovery will take time. As one parent said, “I’m speechless. How did this happen? Why did this happen? How do we explain this to the kids?”

“Devastating” is too mild a word. Pictures and videos of the event told the miserable tale of destruction, but one photo was different than all the others:                                a cemetery picture.

Cemetery

Although the grass was littered with debris from the land of the living, the buried-dead remained untouched. But had the tornado ripped them from the ground, it wouldn’t have mattered to them. On May 20, those who’d already died were untouchable, even by a monster-size F5 tornado. They’d already taken up residence elsewhere, and for those in heaven, that day was like any other: safe and sound.

Once we’ve died, whatever is taking place on earth quickly fades. I think of the 24 souls who left the earth during Monday’s tornado and hope they’re all with Jesus Christ. If so, their safety concerns are over. No PTSD for them, no coping with lost homes or possessions. Stressing over where to live while their homes are rebuilt isn’t a problem, and they’re guaranteed never to experience another tornado.

Mom often said, “Know your bottom line.” She was sure of where she’d be after death and frequently said she wished it was “today”. Monday was the “today” for 24 people who were (we hope) lifted from that fearsome storm straight into glory. What a dramatic change! Of course it’ll be dramatic even if we’re taken out of this world on an ordinary day.

But those 24? They’ll be dazed for days, too…. but for a much different (and much better) reason.

“The Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18)

Loss or Gain?

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Nate's mailThis week Nate got two pieces of mail, reminders of someone who used to live with us but now is missing. One envelope even said, “We want you back!” It used to hurt when this kind of thing happened, but after 3½ years, it doesn’t zap me like it used to. I know my heart is healing, and I’m grateful.

But there will be more pain-producing moments in the future. It’s true for all of us, since no life is without its share of grief. If we aren’t dealing with a loved one’s death, we’re processing other losses – a job, a prodigal child, a bank account, an opportunity, a friendship, a home.

Of the billions who’ve lived on the earth, not one has escaped travail. We can trace that back to the first humans when they lost Eden, and that was just for starters. Never, as long as we live, will there be a loss-less life.

So how do we cope with such a dismal prospect?

Surely God doesn’t want us to live on red-alert beneath a banner that says, “WATCH OUT!” Scripture tells us, “The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning.” (Ecclesiastes 7:4) This probably means that as we move through life’s losses from grief to healing, we somehow gain wisdom along the way. If life is hunky-dory, we don’t learn much.

The biblical Paul insisted that every struggle he endured (when persecuted for his faith) was minor compared to what he gained in the way of salvation. This was quite a mouthful, considering all he’d experienced:

  • temporary blindness
  • 195 lashes (He kept track.)
  • 3 beatings with rods
  • 1 stoning with intent to kill
  • 3 shipwrecks at sea
  • multiple robberies
  • unnumbered whippings
  • intense physical pain
  • severe thirst and hunger
  • extreme cold without proper clothes
  • multiple imprisonments
  • the deaths of friends

Each of these included painful loss and a struggle to heal, physically and also emotionally. But Paul was willing, actually eager, to tackle trouble for two reasons:       (1) to testify to God’s bringing him through; and (2) to grow in wisdom.

Most of us won’t have to cope with such a list of agonies. But as we endure different losses, we have a choice: to respond as Paul did, leaning into God’s sustenance, or to resist healing, clinging to our losses.

Pregnant Katy

When I see Nate’s name in my mail, I miss him a great deal, but I no longer cry over the envelopes, a credit to God, not me. As the Giver of all gifts, he’s shown me he continues to give, in the midst of our losses. Hans and Katy’s new baby will be born in a week or so, and soon after that we’ll witness Klaus and Brooke’s wedding. Nate won’t be with us for either of these major events, but just like Paul, I have a choice. I can continue weeping over my loss, or I can rejoice in my gains.

The choice is easy.

“Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.” (Ecclesiastes 7:10 )

A Beach Party Lesson

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Many people say the Bible is hard to read. It’s a big book for sure; my copy has 2067 pages. But a good place to start is with the Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. They read like storybooks about Jesus, detailing the things he said and did.

One of my favorite Bible stories is told in John, and maybe the reason I like it so much is because it describes a beach party. Jesus hosts it for some of his disciples, and since the anguish of the cross is over, these men now know him as their risen Savior.

But things between them have changed. Where formerly they’d literally hung out with Jesus night and day, since the resurrection they’d only seen him twice, and then only briefly. No doubt they had questions. “Is Jesus out of the picture now? What does that mean for us? Should we go back to our old professions?”

Fishing boat

In the biblical beach story, Peter seems to be moving in that direction. “I’m going fishing,” he says. “Do any of you want to come?”

Some did, and surely as they bobbed along on the Sea of Galilee that night, they conversed about the radical changes for all of them since Jesus’ death and resurrection. Their understanding of what was going to happen next, either to Jesus or themselves, was minimal.

Talking on the boat, most likely they expressed a longing to be with Jesus “full time” as they had been such a short time before. By dawn, exhausted, hungry, and discouraged, the fishermen head for shore. Across the water about a length of a football field away, they spot a man on the beach who shouts to them, questioning them about their catch (or rather the lack thereof).

Jesus calls to the disciples

When their net miraculously fills with big fish, they recognize the man as Jesus and are thrilled! Even so, John writes, “None of them dared ask him, ‘Who are you?’ ” Their relationships with Jesus had somehow changed, and most likely this was painful for each of them.

My guess is they’d been missing Jesus so much that they literally ached to be with him. In many ways, I understand what they were going through, but not in relation to missing Jesus. My missing has been all about Nate.

When I thought about the disciples and especially the demonstrative Peter, who leapt into the water and swam toward Jesus the instant he recognized him, my heart jabbed me. “If only I could have that kind of one-more-meeting with my husband. Just one breakfast like the disciples got with the person they’d been longing for.” But the impossibility of that made Nate’s absence seem worse.

As I studied the beach Bible story, I sensed God was about to teach me something new. And it turned out to be something pretty important.

(Continued tomorrow…)

Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught…. Come and have breakfast.” (John 21:10,12)