Category Archives: Life’s disappointments

A-Z

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Katie and her mom PamToday my friend Pam came over, along with her daughter Katie. Since they live in Denver, this coming-over was very special, an event that’s happened only a handful of times since Pam and I left college in 1967. These two ladies have criss-crossed the country to the tune of 5000 Jeep-miles, dropping in on people who’ve had a part in supporting Katie’s missionary commitment with Wycliffe Bible Translators. Thankfully my house was on their route, and we enjoyed sharing conversation and hot soup on this snowy winter day.

Pam remembered Lake Michigan as being the first really-big lake she’d ever seen (during our Wheaton years), so despite their tight travel agenda, after lunch the three of us made a quick trip to the beach. In an effort to save time, Katie volunteered to drive her Jeep to the lake, confident a fresh foot of snow wouldn’t hinder us.

But confident or not, most of life skips over Plan A and moves directly to B, C, and beyond. After a refreshing visit to the beach, we headed back to the Jeep through snow deeper than the underside of the car. Then as we tried to move forward (as well as back and forth), gravity slid us sideways.

We landed inches from a row of sharp rocks that threatened to slice our spinning tires, but Pam and Katie (seasoned travelers) were well prepared with two military-style shovels. As a result, our story had a happy ending, but we could easily have spun against the rocks, unable to move at all (Plan C), or found ourselves Googling “tire stores” for an evening of unplanned shopping and expense (Plan D).

No one is very good at predicting the unknown, which includes everything beyond the present moment. As those unknowns become known, sometimes we’re forced to pass through different Plans almost as fast as a child can sing the A-B-C song.

Plan B

This afternoon Pam, Katie, and I had no desire for a Plan B, which included kneeling in deep snow and bending beneath car bumpers to speed-shovel the snow away from 4 tires. But we did it in an attempt to revisit Plan A rather than miss the travelers’ afternoon and evening appointments in Chicago.

This time, against the usual odds, that worked. After digging out, we proceeded with confidence, and the Jeep lurched from the drifts onto the road, allowing my visitors to get to Chicago on time.

But what about when lettered plans move through the alphabet faster than we can adjust to them? That’s when our only choice is to surrender to the Plan-maker who will show us how to view Plans A-B-C-D not as steps down but as stepping stones to the higher ground he has in mind for us. In his mind, each revision is progress.

And he doesn’t even require a 4WD to move forward.

“Lord…. in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.” (Isaiah 25:1)

Hard Times

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On the trikeWhen I was 5 years old, I was still riding an old tricycle but passionately longed for a two-wheeler “like the big kids” and would have done anything to get one. Then someone at school put the word “possibility” on my dream when she told me if I sold a bunch of newspaper subscriptions, I could earn myself a bike for free!

I wasn’t sure what a subscription was but knew I could figure out how to sell them if it meant I’d end up with a new bike! From that day forward, I began pestering my parents with the idea. Although they didn’t think I could do it, they got tired of my badgering and eventually agreed to make the arrangements.

Going door-to-door in our neighborhood was safe for a 5 year old in 1950, and it didn’t take long before I’d sold enough subscriptions (20) to earn the bicycle. I’ll never forget the beauty of that big classy bike with its shiny maroon paint. It was too tall for me to do anything but stand as I rode, but that didn’t matter. We were perfect together.

New Schwinn

It wasn’t long before I begged Mom to let me take it to school, even though we lived just across a field from there and usually walked. I wanted to ride the long way around on the road, like other kids did, and finally Mom said yes.

But that day, some time during school hours, my bike was stolen. It disappeared from the bike rack without a trace, and I was devastated. Dad called the police and filed a report, but my beautiful new bike was never found.

All of us can point to raw experiences in our childhoods, and sometimes the resulting wounds fester for years. Although there are far worse things than getting a bike stolen, it was a big deal at the time. Looking back on a broken-hearted little girl, I could say, “Where was God when a thief made off with that bike?”

We could ask the same question about every injustice in this world today, but his answer would always be the same: “I was right here where I’ve always been.”

The fact that God doesn’t stop all injustice doesn’t mean he’s choosing to be mean to us. It can only be that he sees a positive purpose in each negative challenge. Not that child abuse or other travesties are positive. Of course not! But running to the Lord whenever we feel crushed by circumstances is always an uplifting thing to do. If we’ve been wounded, he stands ready to heal with comfort.

As for me, after my bike disappeared I couldn’t summon up enough enthusiasm to start selling all over again. Instead I played upon two sympathetic parents who eventually bought me another bike. But nice as it was, it never compared to the love I felt for my first two-wheeler.

“You, God, tested us… We went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.” (Psalm 66:10,12)

Wisdom from Dr. Seuss

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The Curington FamilyMy webmaster, son-in-law Adam, is an ongoing blessing to me, not just because he manages GettingThroughThis.com but because he’s a young man walking close to God and through that is a good example to everyone around him. He’s also a dedicated husband to my daughter Linnea and a committed father to Skylar, Micah, and Autumn, all-in on that big job.

Adam has served not only as webmaster but also as my stalwart encourager. Once in a while people mention “my advanced computer skills,” and I quickly deliver the truth. Each web site task has been painstakingly learned through trial and error (think error and more error) at the expense of Adam’s gentle supervision. He doesn’t lose patience with my re-asking the same questions but re-answers as if I’d never asked.

If it wasn’t for Adam, this blog wouldn’t exist, and for more reasons than one, I’m glad it does. If it didn’t, I’d be missing out on the wealth of blessing funneling back through readers. Emails and comments embedded with nuggets of gold go to my “Interesting things to file” folder, an ever-growing file of gems.

And here’s an example:

Linda, a cyber-acquaintance, is traveling through the painful “firsts” of new widowhood after losing her husband of 37 years. She wrote to me of her love for him and how he had put her needs ahead of his own, one of the most difficult tasks anyone can tackle. She misses him intensely but is determined to remain above negativity.

Dr. Seuss Logo

She wrote, “A quote by Dr. Seuss is my new mantra: ‘Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.’ I’m choosing not to be mad at God, and I’m thankful for the love I enjoyed for so long, choosing not to be ungrateful because it ended.”

 

Linda has the right idea: (1) choosing not to be mad at God, and (2) being thankful for her husband’s love.

Interestingly, Step 1 is what opens the door to Step 2. If we indulge in anger toward the Lord, thankfulness will elude us, but as we set aside our natural desire to blame someone, (especially God), gratitude no-matter-what becomes possible.

Each of us have daily opportunities to think and act like Linda. If we make up our minds to be thankful, that outlook empowers us toward additional good things, like giving our time to others, making sure the excluded are included, going out of our way to serve, and like Linda’s John, putting the needs of others ahead of our own.

I’ve got a long way to go to catch Linda, but her fine example proves it’s possible. So I’m starting right now, feeling thankful for:

  • Linda.
  • other widows who’ve shared their stories.
  • 40 years with Nate.
  • a God who has partnered with me through 3½ years of widowhood.
  • Adam, a son-in-law who kindheartedly taught me how to blog.

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.” (Philippians 4:8)