Having Fun

Posted on December 13, 2011 by Margaret

Everyone needs to have a little fun now and then. Good times seem to follow some people and not others, and the rest of us are drawn to them because they give life an up-side when it gets heavy on the down.

My mother was one of those and had a head full of jokes and a closet full of games. I don’t mean games like Monopoly or Scrabble, although she had those, too, but action games that got people out of their chairs, on the floor… and laughing. She loved to have a good time and went to great lengths to coax others to do the same.

But there’s another aspect to cheery people. They put pizzazz in an otherwise ordinary set of circumstances. Yesterday on a Michigan expressway I saw one of these people. Though I’ll never meet him, I wish I could. He was driving a massive semi-truck with a heavy load on it heading toward Chicago. As I passed him, I noticed a tiny little something securely tied to his flat bed with a big strap: a tiny toy truck.

Grabbing my phone, I clicked a picture while enjoying the intended chuckle. God seems to place us next to people like this when we need them most. He partners the lighthearted with the somber in friendship, in marriage, and in business. But interestingly, it’s not just about the joyful ones trying to brighten up the serious.

Fun-lovers gain greatly by sharing a laugh with others, more so than keeping it to themselves. That’s what’s behind the waves of forwarded email humor we all receive and send onward. It’s also what drives stand-up comics and is what’s peeking out beneath our “Merry Christmas” greetings. It’s also what motivates a truck driver to grab our attention with a toy.

Scripture touts the importance of spreading this good cheer. Different passages recommend it

when anxiety weighs down the heart
when someone is feeling oppressed
when medical problems are overwhelming
when it’s too hot or too cold
when a person is feeling old and worn out
when heartache has crushed the spirit
when mourning has gone on too long
when someone is troubled and feels hopeless

All of these people benefit from a dose of good cheer. There is one instance, however, when the Bible says sorrow is better than laughter, and that’s when repentance is needed. Paul describes sorrow over personal sin as an important “downer,” since it often leads to repentance and in turn, to an open relationship with God. Injecting fun into that situation too soon would only damage what could otherwise be a priceless outcome.

But after someone has become right with God, then is the time to have some fun, maybe even to strap a tiny truck onto the bed of a giant semi.

“Now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended.” (2 Corinthians 7:9)

Cry it out.

Posted on November 20, 2011 by Margaret

I’ve always been impressed when actors cry on cue. Recently I read the biography of Melissa Gilbert who played the part of Laura Ingalls on the TV series “Little House on the Prairie.” When an episode called for tears, she’d separate herself, close her eyes, and withdraw into a sad memory, focusing on it until she’d brought it from her past into her present. After several minutes, real tears would come.

I wonder if there’s a difference between coaxed tears and those that come when we’re trying to hold them back. If examined under a microscope, would scientists be able to tell the difference?

My friend Barb Ingraham wrote, “When scientists studied human tears, they discovered the purpose of the tears determined their chemical composition. Tears to cleanse foreign objects were different from tears of sorrow, which were different from tears of joy.”

When I read that, I thought immediately of our God who delights in tending to details, assigning a purpose to each one. He cares about our crying, keeps track of our tears, and ministers to the reason for our weeping. And it gets even better than that. God uses the product of our grief, the tears themselves, to help us. Barb wrote, “Tears of sorrow actually have natural anti-depressants that cause a literal lift in body and spirit.” We have an awesome, helpful God!

When I was a newlywed, I awoke one night feeling sad about something (can’t recall what) and started to cry. Climbing out of bed and heading into the next room, I sat on the couch and bawled my eyes out, wishing Nate would wake up and come looking for me. I desperately needed his arms around me but wasn’t going to wake him.

I sat on the couch sobbing for 15 minutes or so when suddenly there he stood in the doorway, his eyebrows up and his mouth hanging open. “What’s wrong?” he said.

“I’m sad.”

“What should I do?”

I looked up at him with my wet face and runny nose, aching to have him enfold me in his arms but wanting him to initiate it. (Such was the mindset of a newlywed.) Because he couldn’t think of anything else to do, he sat down next to me and put his arms around me, exactly what I’d longed for.

I melted into him with a tremendous sense of relief and gratitude. Before long my crying calmed to a sniffle, and we both went back to bed. The crisis had passed, because of his love.

Each of us cries because of a crisis, and it’s God’s love that can bring us through. We see it in his design of our specific tears, realizing he knows why we’re hurting and, more importantly, knows what we need. Whether it’s reassurance of his love or something more, he’ll make sure we get it. He may not take away our crisis, but he’ll be our shoulder to cry on as we move through it.

And he makes this additional promise:

“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.” (Psalm 126:5)

Willing to Wait

Posted on October 19, 2011 by Margaret

Life is full of waiting. We wait for paperwork to arrive in the mail, investments to grow, and phone calls to come. We wait for our kids to graduate, our incomes to go up, and the scale to go down. We wait in government offices, theater lobbies, bus stops, and airports.

None of us are any good at waiting. We want results, and we want them yesterday. With the whole world on fast-forward, it irritates us to have to push the pause button, especially when anxiety is running high. A friend of 3 decades recently received a surprising cancer diagnosis. It began with a routine appointment and a bit of question-worthy data.

One test led to another, and in just a few days, she’d heard the shocking news. After surgery to remove a tumor, her doctor told her it would be another 2 weeks before he could give her the details of her post-op treatment, and suddenly she’d been plunked into some very worrisome wait-time.

The waiting rooms of doctors’ offices might just as accurately be called “anxiety rooms.” As a person waits, she may have an open magazine on her lap, but her mind is far away, pondering the what-ifs. Whether we’re upset about new symptoms, waiting for a specific diagnosis, or wondering what our treatment will be, the feeling is the same: apprehension.

I remember waiting to hear what was physically wrong with Nate, wondering if our lives might radically change with what we would be told. My friend, too, has experienced that same nervousness, but she’s made a conscious decision to submit herself to whatever God allows into her life. Asking for prayer, she sent a group email that included a unique testimony. Not knowing what would happen, she was able to calmly write, “I’m in God’s waiting room.”

The minute I read that I knew she was going to rise above her circumstances, because she had lined up with God’s sovereignty over her life, even a life involving cancer. No fidgeting while waiting, no “why me,” no “how could you!” and no anger. Sure, she has questions, but she has fixed her gaze on her heavenly Father and is accomplishing a supremely difficult task: waiting patiently.

While the world’s waiting rooms are marked by angst and dread, God’s waiting room has divine purposes for each occupant. Instead of magazines to read, he offers security. Instead of stale coffee he hands out contentment. Instead of frayed nerves, he provides inner peace. My friend has been brought to a screeching halt, but God hasn’t. He’s energetically putting a plan in motion that will eventually pour considerable blessing into her life.