Category Archives: Life’s disappointments

Without a Wag

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Our dog Jack has been a gem of a pet from the beginning. The absence of a bark was what first drew our attention to him as he sat in a chain-link cage at a pet rescue center, awaiting adoption. Sitting quietly in his assigned cell, he looked sad compared to every other dog, all of whom were barking, pawing at the cage doors, even leaping up and down.

When we learned he’d been in the cage less than an hour and was only 9 months old, we brought him home. True to his demeanor at the shelter, he’s been a docile, quiet dog for the 8 years we’ve had him, friendly to other dogs in the neighborhood.

Last week an unfriendly yellow lab whose owner had shouted out a caution to us, began wagging as he and Jack did their circular sniffing. “Wow!” she said, anxious over her dog’s response to ours. “I can’t believe it! He isn’t being aggressive!” It was as if Jack had taught him to wag.

But this week something sad happened to our wagging Jack. His long tail seemed unable to show the cheerful emotion it always had. It hung limply as if he’d had a stroke-of-the-tail. He seemed nervous, unsettled, hovering close to one of us at all times. Because he’d never been a complainer, we couldn’t tell if anything hurt.

All of us have days when we don’t feel like wagging. Our spirits hang limp and even the effort to smile seems too much. It’s no fun for others to be around us, and that works both ways; we don’t want to be with others, either. At that low point the unconditional love of God kicks into high gear.

No bad mood or sour disposition can discourage him from wanting to be with us. When we’re bad company for others, he’s moves close to spend time with us. Best of all, when we don’t feel we can go on, he supplies a reason we can. Our doldrums are an easy fix for him, if we just ask.

God even cares for animals. We googled, “Can a dog break his tail?” and found online help. The most logical explanation for Jack’s limp tail is soft tissue trauma such as a bruise. We thought back over the last few days and remembered a moment when he’d fallen backwards while trying to jump into the back of a car. That same leap used to be easy but this summer has been iffy. Most likely he landed on the base of his tail in a crooked way, because it was that night his tail stopped wagging.

The online vet assured us, “It’ll resolve in a few days,” good news for all of us, especially Jack. Next week he turns 9. What would a birthday party be without a wagging tail?

“The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.” (Psalm 32:10b)

Handmade is better.

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It took many years for me to realize one of my ears was lower than the other. But when every pair of glasses I ever bought tipped the same direction, I finally gave up criticizing the glasses and figured it was me.

In another dimension dilemma, one leg is longer than the other. If new slacks need shortening, one side always needs a tad more than the other. Eventually I was forced to acknowledge I was just plain crooked.

But that isn’t all bad. Instead it’s an indication I was handmade, just like pottery created on a wheel, a quilt made on a stretcher or a drinking glass blown by mouth. And that’s the definition of unique: no two alike.

Although we all love handmade when it comes to home decor and baked goods, faces are another matter. In that category we strive for parallel perfection, one side mirroring the other. Years ago I had a conversation with a plastic surgeon and asked about facial symmetry. “It doesn’t exist,” he said. I suspected as much.

People, especially women, kept him in business by paying him to rearrange their asymmetrical faces, altering one side or the other to make them match. Surgical changes are tricky, though, and despite precise scalpel work, perfection remains elusive.

God creates each of us unlike anybody else. He gave us unique fingerprints, already visible on the hands of an unborn baby at 14 weeks in utero. He also designs unique irises for each of us, and even our tongue prints are one-of-a-kind.

Individuality is important to God. He could simply “poof” us into existence but instead chooses to design us. According to Scripture, he personally makes “all the delicate parts” of our bodies (Psalm 139) with thought and supernatural effort, including our symmetry or asymmetry. Surely he could put together a bodily perfect human being, and yet he doesn’t. Might it have something to do with handing us opportunities to accept his will over our own? Or possibly offering us a chance to become content with less than perfection?

I’ve been remiss over the years, whining about my physical flaws to my kids. The result of that false pride was their inaccurate opinion that I was judging them the same way, which I wasn’t. But that was the prideful part, focusing on myself. With their patient corrections, I’ve stopped self-criticizing… at least audibly.

It occurred to me my dissatisfaction with the ways God has made me unique is probably disrespectful to him, maybe even disloyal, which makes me feel awful. I hope I can eventually get it through my crooked head that being handmade by God is an incredible gift, bi-level ears and all.

“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.” (Psalm 139:15)

Happy Healing

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I became a widow at 64, and in the 22 months since then, it seems there have been endless new beginnings. It’s likely the first 64 years held more firsts than the last 2, but during early widowhood, everything seems problematically new.

Last week I got my first flu shot. I hadn’t planned on it, but the pharmacist was available, no one was waiting, and he advised me to take advantage of the protection. It was one more “new thing” without Nate. Had he been with me, we would have been doing it together.

As I left the pharmacy, I thought about the many vaccinations available these days, beginning with 6 week old babies. My children got more injections than I ever did, but as a result they didn’t have to suffer through mumps and several kinds of measles like my generation did. They also escaped more serious health issues like diphtheria, whooping cough, and polio. My grandchildren won’t even have to experience chicken pox.

These days adults can be vaccinated against pneumonia, shingles, hepatitis and the human papilloma virus. And I’m sure scientists are on the hunt for vaccines to prevent every ailment known to man. Too bad laboratories can’t come up with a hypodermic fix for the emotional ills of life. That’s almost certainly what the drug epidemic is about, an effort to inoculate against painful feelings.

Many of us would choose a bout with mumps or measles rather than suffer the sting of battered emotions. In taking a small survey of which psychological troubles people want most to be vaccinated against, fear was #1, because fear can precede all of the others: fear of heartbreak, fear of rejection, accidents, failure, sadness and many more. Fearing the unknown can be a disease, too,  assuming negative possibilities over positive. We’re all good at that.

Widowhood and fear go hand-in-hand, evidenced by our quick participation in the what-if game. What if I run out of money? What if I can’t get a job? What if I collapse and no one knows about it? What if there’s a break-in? No vaccination exists that can immunize us from these mental barbs, but we actually do have a remedy.

It’s a Someone.

God is the ultimate vaccinator. He can cure physical diseases when he so desires and also heal emotional malfunctions. With a thorough knowledge of our bodies, especially our minds, he’s a champion of understanding. His Rx is his Word, source of supernatural provision and endurance through everything that ails us. Scripture also includes prevention for much of it.

Just before I got my flu shot, the pharmacist handed me a pile of papers entitled, “What you need to know about the influenza vaccine, 2011-12.” Forewarned is forearmed. And in the case of emotional health, forearming ourselves with the instruction of the Word of God is the best prevention of all.

“For you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays.” (Malachi 4:2a)