Traveling Alone

Posted on March 20, 2011 by Margaret

Taking a road trip shakes up our routines, and every once in a while that’s good. I think part of the reason I’m happy staying home is that efficient packing demands organizational abilities I don’t have. This skill-set is one of many I miss in not having Nate as my traveling partner, but traveling alone is my new normal.

Years ago, I had all I could do to pack for the kids and myself, and Nate usually lightened my load by packing his own bag, a job he did in five minutes. He was a champion at remembering to take everything he needed, including work assignments, legal documents and phone numbers. I never heard him say, “Oh-oh. I forgot something.” I said it so many times he got used to saying, “We’ll just have to buy another one when we get there.”

Something else I loved about Nate as my travel partner was his willingness to chat. No subject was off limits, and as the miles accumulated, we solved problems and made plans. He was also good at map-reading, but if we did get lost, he wasn’t above stopping to ask for driving directions. (No GPS’s back then.)

Another perk of traveling with Nate was his willingness to do all the driving. I could enjoy the beauty of farms and small towns, always fascinating. Being in the passenger seat also let me catch up on reading, knitting, note-writing or putting photos into albums. It amounted to a chunk of sit-down time that was hard to come by at home.

On recent road trips including my current one, I’ve been the one behind the wheel. As an antidote to missing Nate’s companionship (and packing, conversation and driving), I’ve tried to count my trip-blessings and have discovered a few perks in having to travel alone. I can have prayer times “out loud” without interruptions or embarrassment. I can skip traditional meal stops and be munching every hour. I can listen to music, sermons or silence, my choice. I can stop only when I need a break rather than any more or any less.

And although Nate isn’t seated next to me, my buddy Jack rides in the back seat, a warm body to talk to now and then. I’ve also had a strong sense of God’s travel partnership, taking him at his word when he says “I’m never going to leave you.” Though invisible, he’s always on hand, surrounding me with reassurance and providing the confidence to keep moving forward.

Of course I wish Nate was with me, too, but that option isn’t available. So the best choice is to receive what I’ve been given and not ask for more: a week with family members in Florida, a loyal canine friend who’s tagging along, the Lord’s faithful companionship and… a unique chance to race against the numbers on a GPS.

“Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” (Jeremiah 17:7)

Cravings

Posted on March 13, 2011 by Margaret

I’ve battled the bulge my whole life. Even in childhood photos I was the “pleasantly plump” one, but once I reached high school, plump wasn’t pleasant.

Before college, I dreaded gaining the “freshman 15” but fell in line with the averages, finding those 15 and a few more. Transferring schools the next year must have given me unconscious permission to do it again, because I found another 15 at my new college.

Senior year I got serious about my eating habits, trying one fad diet after another: grapefruit and eggs, meat only, cabbage soup. Then came food-substitutes in the form of drinks, cookies and frozen bars. And when I got desperate, there was fasting.

But each diet was just a stepping stone to binging, because all that deprivation led to craving comfort. And what better comfort than food? The lost pounds always came piling back, and by graduation, 200 pounds was in my not-too-distant future.

I thought about food non-stop, what I should or shouldn’t eat, how long since I last ate, when I could eat next, what I would eat that I shouldn’t, and on and on the mental dialog raged.

Marriage and seven babies didn’t help. After each pregnancy and birth, stress-eating packed on another 10 pounds during the baby’s first year.

Eventually it was, “Welcome to menopause,” when a woman’s hormones go through a second adolescence, but backwards. It’s fruit-basket-upset time, and nothing that worked before, worked then.

Sometimes I think about Eve (of Adam-and-Eve fame). When God put them in his garden, food was abundant, and they ate as much as they wanted. They’d never tasted Krispy Kremes, biscuit gravy or Snickers bars and had unspoiled natural appetites for the fruits and veggies around them.

God gave them taste buds, a sense of smell, and eyes to appreciate the food available to them. They probably oooh-ed and ahhh-ed as they discovered the tartness of a pineapple, the scent of a strawberry and the green of a kiwi. The fact that eating was made to be a thrill for the senses was God’s special gift to us, although it came with the caution to be self-controlled.

But anything good can be made bad by taking it to an extreme. We can spend too much time, money, energy and focus on behavior not meant to dominate us. It isn’t God’s fault. We’re the ones who turn blessings into curses.

Although I’m thinner now than in past years, it’s probably a byproduct of Nate’s absence. Because he’s not coming home to share dinner as he used to, I don’t cook much. Even so, I still play endless mental games with food and must repeatedly submit to God’s headship in this area. None of it is easy.

For all of us who have to wage war against appetites that are difficult to control, serenity will one day come. God will defy the odds and make all things good again, including our appetites. And from what I hear, the all-you-can-eat heavenly banquet table is going to be absolutely sumptuous!

“All a man’s labor is for his mouth, and yet the appetite is not satisfied.” (Ecclesiastes 6:7)

Far Far Away

Posted on March 11, 2011 by Margaret

This afternoon I enjoyed an hour on the phone with Nelson when he called from the New Zealand base of Youth With A Mission where he’s working. New Zealand is about as far from Michigan as anyplace, but the connection between our two cell phones was flawless, as if he was calling from next door.

After we talked about incidentals, we got into a meaty conversation about committing our lives to Christ and what that means day-to-day. We agreed it’s a rare moment when any of us is 100% committed. Most of us hold back a few things we’d rather not surrender, leaving us maybe 98% committed. So, is there a loss for such an almost-committed person?

We agreed God usually lets us do our own thing but then might withhold the empowering he was ready to give us if we’d been all-out for him, the Spirit-power to accomplish something amazing with eternal benefit to ourselves or others. We agreed it’s possible to be 100% for a day… or maybe an hour… or more likely two minutes. It’s the thought-life that smudges us and brings us down.

I love talking to Nelson about spiritual things and miss our nightly conversations in front of the fireplace. Actually I miss conversations with all of my kids, especially when we “go deep” like we did today. It’s satisfying to wrestle together with some of life’s thorny issues, particularly when Scripture factors into the discussion.

I like to say I have 7 + 2 + 5 children: 7 kids, 2 in-law children and 5 grandchildren. And 13 of those 14 live far, far away.

Klaus: 1 mile(s)

Lars: 95 “

Birgitta: 255 ”

Linnea and family: 1160 ”

Hans and family: 3941 ”

Louisa: 4418 ”

Nelson: 8838 ”

Today while talking with Nelson, I tried to think away from the knowledge that he was almost 10,000 miles away. Dwelling on the distance of my family members is non-productive. It’s actually unnerving.

A better idea is to enjoy a good cell connection and a lengthy conversation. A wise friend once told me, “Receive what you’re given and don’t wish for more.”

Always wishing for more comes naturally, but unfortunately, that mindset erodes the value of what’s currently being given. It’s also a good example of holding back 2% from God.

I can bellyache about my kids being far away, focusing on the negative, or I can delight in their frequent calls, emails and thoughtful attentions toward me. I can be thankful they work hard at staying current with each other and that no barriers lie between any of us. I can appreciate that each is working hard at a meaningful pursuit. I can rejoice in phone conversations of substance, and be glad they all come home whenever they can.

And tonight I can smile broadly, knowing Birgitta is driving in my direction, as she begins her spring break!