Category Archives: Life’s disappointments

Sneak Peek #24

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) learned about eating issues with one-year-old Marta. As a baby, then a toddler, she was a picky eater to the max. She didn’t have an ounce of fat on her, because she refused to eat 90 percent of whatever I cooked. Though I tried every trick in the book to make food appealing to her, she just wouldn’t eat. Gut instinct told me it would be wrong to discipline her for lack of an appetite, especially since she was a sweet, compliant child in every other respect. But I didn’t know what to do.

Every Saturday morning I made Swedish pancakes for our family, and little Marta was willing to eat one of those. So I decided to make it my mission to produce Swedish pancakes every day of the week, just for her—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Because she needed calories, I substituted cream for the milk and went heavy on the eggs. It didn’t bother me that she wanted to dip her pancakes into a puddle of syrup. Anything to get her to eat.

She ate pancakes every day during those many months, and eventually she began tasting other things too. Had I punished her for refusing to eat, I don’t believe it would have helped in any way. It certainly would have made her dread family mealtimes and probably would have damaged our relationship. Today Marta is a healthy twenty-six-year-old with a normal appetite. And though she eats virtually all foods, she has a special fondness for Swedish pancakes.

SIDEBAR:

HOW NOT TO HAVE WHINE WITH EVERY MEAL

  • Set attainable goals for meals.
  • Serve foods your child likes.
  • Dish up child-size portions.
  • Keep mealtimes short and sweet.
  • Encourage new foods without forcing.
  • Praise a willingness to try new foods.
  • Expect childlike behavior from your child.
  • Never allow a whiner to ruin mealtime.

Sneak Peek #21

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Whenever you’re struggling with loneliness, remind yourself that your children are priceless gifts from God, and He is highly invested in your efforts as a mother. He stands ready to help meet your needs, whatever they are. All you have to do is speak to Him, tell Him what you’d like help with, and He’ll deliver it.

Once in a while He’ll even meet a need through the children who are making you feel isolated. I (Margaret) remember a time when my fourth and fifth babies were ages one and two. As I reached into the dryer to pull out clean laundry, they stuffed it back in. If I folded a shirt, they snatched it off the pile and shook it out. When I wasn’t watching, one of them would climb inside the dryer and sit on the clothes.

None of this was earth shattering, but not being able to do my work that day put me over my tipping point. Out loud, through sobs, I said, “Lord! It’s not like I’m asking to read a magazine or take a bubble bath! I’m just trying to fold laundry!”

My two-year-old sensed trouble and immediately wrapped his pudgy little arms around my leg. “Lubb-ooo,” he said in a soothing tone, looking up at me. He tried to comfort his mother the only way he knew how. It worked, and I could smile at him through my tears.

For all I knew, it was the Holy Spirit himself who spoke through little Klaus that day, because his “lubb-ooo” was so effective. God knew my need and met it well. Let God know what you want Him to do for you, and He’ll help you in some very creative ways.

SIDEBAR:

WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS IN MOMMY

  • Get up ahead of your children.
  • Ask your husband to help in one specific way.
  • Pencil in some mommy time.
  • Resist feelings of guilt for time alone.
  • Nap with your little ones.
  • Talk with another mother.
  • Hum a tune.
  • Enjoy a hearty laugh.
  • Listen to worship music.
  • Go to bed earlier.

Sneak Peek #17

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) used to volunteer for the local Meals on Wheels organization, packing and taking healthy meals to shut-ins. Though I’d wanted to do this from the time my children were little, I decided it would be too much to bring them along. Instead I waited till they were all in school. I could deliver the meals quicker that way and move on to the many other things I wanted to do.

Then one day, after collecting the packaged meals I was to deliver and shoving the overloaded bin into my car, I watched as another mom joined our crew of delivery ladies. She’d brought her two-and-four-year-olds along and was moving at their much slower pace. She handed one meal at a time to her little ones. “Carry this to Mommy’s car now. Be careful, because there’s a hungry lady waiting for us to bring it to her.”

The example of this woman patiently letting her children help with this worthwhile project impacted me, and I stopped to watch. It occurred to me I’d missed a golden opportunity to teach my children some great lessons by waiting to volunteer till they were all in school. Meals on Wheels would have been the perfect way to teach an important character trait: helping those who couldn’t help in return. And since most of the meal recipients were elderly, they would have been blessed to see the children. But I’d chosen to put efficiency above values, forfeiting that opportunity.

When you and your young children do things together, God counts this as “redeemed time.” Including the youngsters He’s given you elevates the activity to a level of His special blessing since you are joining with Him in acknowledging their importance. Children are little for only a short time, and those first five years fly by. So work to be deliberate about beating the clock, making that time count.

SIDEBAR:  A PEEK INTO YOUR PRESCHOOLER’S HEART

  • My universe revolves around me.
  • My world is often confusing.
  • I can’t trust everyone.
  • Sometimes I’m afraid.
  • A night-light is comforting.
  • My world is new and interesting.
  • I like to go along.
  • I learn fast.
  • I can’t verbalize how I feel.
  • I adore my mother.
  • I want to do what Mommy does.