Newlywed Love (#18)

January 5, 1970

On January 5th, both Nate and I started back to school, and it wasn’t easy shifting away from our tranquil time together at the apartment. But we both admitted the reason it had been so special was that we knew it couldn’t last. After thanking God for our first month of marriage, we moved back into the world of law school and 1st grade.

1st gradeWhen the horn beeped for me in front of our apartment building that Monday morning, it was still dark out. But I scampered down the steps, eager to see my driving buddies, and was glad to jump into Judy’s warm car on a bitter cold day. After we’d picked up Linda for our 40 mile commute, we had fun sharing all that had happened over our Christmas breaks.

In our classrooms, the children wanted to do the same. My students and I all laughed as they competed to be heard, stretching their hands high in the air with gusto. “Oooo! Me! Me! Choose me!”

Show and Tell was dominated by new toys and tales of joyful holiday adventures, and I was reminded again how much fun it was to have so many children in my life. Their joy was contagious, and by the 3:00 bell, I was feeling grateful for such a pleasurable job.

Principal Scarce poked his head into my classroom that Monday afternoon, letting me know he was in the process of scheduling teacher evaluations. Mine, he said, would be the following week. “How does that work?” I said.

He told me he would arrive unannounced to my room, observe my teaching for a while, then fill out a form rating me. He would study my lesson plan book, inspect our room (and cloak room), and chat with the children.

Evaluation

Following that observation day, he would arrange for a one-on-one meeting to go over the results. I would sign and date the form, as would he, and the results would go into my permanent file.

This was new to me – and sounded like a threat. The Chicago Public Schools hadn’t evaluated us at all, though I had to remind myself they were in emergency mode when I began teaching. As they scrambled to find enough classrooms and put an adult in charge of each one, my guess is they intended to do evaluations but other things pressed harder.

When I got home that evening, I told Nate about the evaluations. The whole thing was unnerving, especially since I still wasn’t officially certified as a teacher. Both Judy and Linda had majored in education, and their paperwork was in order. Just having a degree in literature, I was the only teacher at McKinley on probationary status.

Since Nate had one more year of law school, I would need permission to teach again. If I couldn’t teach, what then? What other job could possibly support us?

As Nate and I talked it over, he spoke words of praise about how much the children loved me, but nothing he said could talk me down from my fears. Surely Mr. Scarce hadn’t forgotten the day Judy, Linda, and I had decided teacher training sessions weren’t important enough to attend.

Of the 3 of us, though, I was the most expendable.

“[She] will not fear bad news; [her] heart is confident, trusting in the Lord.” (Psalm 112:7)

Newlywed Love (#14)

December 28, 1969

Our quick Christmas trip to each other’s families had been worthwhile and fun, but then we got to “go home” with just each other. We were both thankful for a few more days before our school schedules resumed…. and all that time apart.

Nate, who made a habit of clipping articles I might enjoy, gave me this one:

Sage advice

Those were my sentiments exactly, and we planned to make the most of our few quiet days together. Recreating some of our early dating weeks, we bundled up and took long walks in the snow.   (Below, December 1966)

Snowy walksAnd when we returned to our little “nest,” we coined a new word: snestle. It was the combination of snuggling and nestling, something we did a lot of during that carefree time.

Sitting on the floor between the light of our Christmas tree and the flickering fireplace, we made the momentous decision that when spring came, maybe we’d get…. a dog.

 

Our fireplaceBuying a little red stocking (half-off after Christmas), we hung it on our mantle between our bigger ones and admired the look of it.

One of the long talks we had during this time was about finances and our lack thereof. My small “country” salary always found us short, and we’d begun borrowing small amounts from both sets of parents, $50 here and there, to get through each month.

This made both of us uncomfortable, and though we were giving blood on a regular basis for $25 a shot, they wouldn’t let us give more than once every 6 weeks.

Also, we were still struggling along with one car after selling the Corvette, and with my long commute, Nate was the one usually left scrambling. Dad had promised we’d get back to our car search in January, and we wondered aloud how we could possibly swing that big purchase, plus licensing and insurance.

Our conclusion was that Nate would hunt for work, and though I wondered how he could hold a part-time job and still do well in school, he was confident he could make it work. He suggested slowing his studies — attending fewer classes while working a job. This would make for a later graduation, but it was one way to conquer the problem.

MacaroniWe weren’t worried. Talking quietly together in the afterglow of Christmas gave everything, even tight finances, a promising feel. Meanwhile, we increased our intake of hot dogs, baked beans, and macaroni. At least I knew how to cook them.

“The Lord protects all those who love him.” (Psalm 145:20)

Newlywed Love (#9)

December 18, 1969

Nate and I were so enamored with the fun of being married that we’d hardly noticed it was the Christmas season. With just a week before the big day, we had lots to do – coming up with Christmas gifts for both of our families, with very little money. What we came up with instead, though, was our very first disagreement.

When I came home after a day at school and unlocked the apartment door, Nate wasn’t there. This was unusual, but I attributed it to extra library time before Christmas break and got busy doing other things.

When I heard his key in the lock, I turned toward the door and was surprised to see him wrestling with a giant Christmas tree – 8 feet tall!

“Oh my word!” I said. “What’s this?”

First treeHe responded with a broad smile while he did his best to get the tree upright for my approval. “It wouldn’t be Christmas without a big tree!” he said.

That’s when I burst into tears. Puzzled by this strange response, he leaned the tree against the wall and rushed toward me, trying to understand.

 

“What’s wrong?” he said, running his hands up and down my arms in an effort to bring comfort.

“You did it without me!” I sobbed, looking at the floor.

Still wondering why this would be upsetting, he bent his knees so he could look straight in my eyes and said, “I just thought it would save you time and trouble. That’s what my mother always said when she told Dad to pick up a tree – that she didn’t have time.”

“But that’s not how we’re supposed to do it,” I said. “Choosing a Christmas tree is a family thing, and you did it without me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Nate said, though he hadn’t done anything wrong. “It never crossed my mind you’d want to come along. You know, Meg, I would never do anything to purposely hurt you.”

And then, trying to undo his mistake, he turned toward the tree. “I’m gonna take it right back.”

By now I understood it was simply a difference in the way we were raised, not a Christmas tradition he’d taken away from me. Suddenly returning a Christmas tree seemed pretty funny…. and I giggled.

“Really,” I said, “it’s a beautiful tree, and it’ll make our apartment look very Christmas-y. I don’t want you to take it back.” I had to admit he’d picked a good one. Without much in our living room, it was no problem finding space for it. But we had nothing to decorate it with. That’s when Nate got an idea.

“After supper,” he said, feeling relieved the crisis had passed, “let’s go to the mall and each buy one ornament. We can do this every year, and gradually we’ll fill up a whole Christmas tree. It can become our first Christmas tradition – or maybe I should say our second. The first one will be to always buy the tree together.”

All set upI loved his idea, especially the part about starting our own tradition.

“Maybe tonight we can buy one string of lights, too,” I said. “And have hot chocolate while we decorate the tree…. and sing Christmas carols.”

“Of course!” he said, breaking into a rousing chorus of “Deck the Halls” ….very much off key. Nevertheless, it sounded wonderful to me!

 “All of you, have a tender heart and a humble mind.” (1 Peter 3:8)