Young Love (#112)

November 10-13, 1969

As the school year moved toward Thanksgiving break, I was pleased at how well my little six-year-olds were learning. Linda (the 2nd grade teacher) and I talked about what they would need to know before entering her class the following year, and I finally felt confident I could get them there.

My friendships with Linda and Judy were deepening, and we began doing a few things socially, away from school. We shared several dinners and included our guys, so they were getting to know each other, too.

The RobinettesThe 4th grade teacher at our school, Mrs. Robinette, was like a teaching mentor to all three of us with her many years of experience. But she was a friend, too. She and her husband lived on a farm, and she often shared her home-grown produce with us – fresh veggies and eggs.

One Sunday, she and her husband invited all of us McKinley teachers and spouses to their home for dinner.

After a delicious meal, Judy sat down at the upright piano and began playing hymns she seemed to know well.

Upright pianoLinda walked over and started singing the words, and then Judy added an alto part. I joined in too, trying to put my notes between theirs. This amateur trio probably sang well beyond the enjoyment of the others, but Linda, Judy, and I had discovered a faith-link between us. All three loved the Lord and had had experience with him. Finding this out meant something special to each of us.

For the most part, our school days went well. We’d adjusted to the 80-mile round trip commute, and the teaching staff felt like family. There was one day, however, that Judy, Linda, and I wished would never have happened.

It was time for a teacher training afternoon, and the students were sent home before lunch. All the teachers in the district were then supposed to report to in-service meetings for the rest of the day.

The three of us really didn’t want to go, so we concocted a better plan. Thinking we wouldn’t me missed, we ditched the afternoon and headed home early. But Principal Scarce had had his eye out for us and wasn’t fooled.

Principal's officeThe next day, when he called us to his office, we knew we’d been caught. Instead of a trio of hymn-singers, we had morphed into a trio of truants.

Mr. Scarce patiently listened to our side of the story, but between the three of us, we couldn’t come up with even one good excuse. His only choice was to dock our paychecks – a big disappointment, and an even bigger embarrassment. Thankfully he didn’t withdraw the permission he’d given me for 3 days off after Thanksgiving. Had he taken that away, Nate and I wouldn’t have been able to have a honeymoon.

All of us felt bad about our immature choice to skip the meetings and vowed to do better, throwing ourselves into the day-to-day work of teaching. But each evening I forgot all about McKinley School and switched into wedding mode, especially enjoying Nate’s and my favorite part of the day – crossing off one more square on our countdown calendar.

By the end of the week, there were only 12 squares left when my students could rightfully call me Miss Johnson.

“….forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.” (Philippians 3:13

Young Love (#110)

November 5, 1969

Sitting togetherAs Nate and I sat next to each other, my crying gradually tapered off and finally stopped. But we sat there a long time. He softly spoke words of loving commitment to me but promised we wouldn’t marry unless I was completely sure. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must have been for him to speak those words. He was all-in, and I had one foot out the door.

Listening carefully, I did hear his pledge of unwavering love, but the massive wave of doubt that had washed over me had nothing to do with that. I’d never questioned the sincerity and depth of his love. As he continued to talk, though, I focused on something else he said, something that was far more important at the moment.

What I had heard was that he’d given me complete freedom to leave the relationship, if that’s what I wanted. Rather than trying to convince me to stay, he had opened the door. He was telling me I could exit without any misgivings.

I thought of how Christ-like that was. Jesus loves us but never forces us to love back. We can walk away if we want.

It was Nate’s willingness to let me walk away that began my turn back toward him. In my heart I knew that I sincerely loved him and that if I walked away, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

By the time we got up from our chairs, worn out from the ordeal, I had recommitted to him…. and to marrying on November 29.

“You have comforted me by speaking so kindly to me.” (Ruth 2:13)

Young Love (#109)

November 4, 1969

One of the major adjustments to marriage is learning to live with someone of the opposite sex. Most people have had roommates, but usually college-style – girls with girls, and guys with guys.

Nate was getting his first dose of the emotional difference between women and men as he watched me fall apart. The crying wasn’t as upsetting to him as the not knowing what to do. Try as he might, he couldn’t figure it out. And I either wouldn’t or maybe couldn’t tell him what was wrong.

Finally I said, “What if we’re making a mistake!”

“What kind of mistake?”

“Getting married I mean! I don’t know! I don’t know!”

There was a long pause, and I realized my crisis had just become Nate’s, too.

I continued sobbing. “The invitations are going out, and I’m not sure anymore!”

envelopesJust a few days before this we had talked about neither of us having any second thoughts and how great that was. Over the months God had reassured us again and again that he was in favor of our union. And both families were enthusiastic about our plans. So what was the problem?

Sitting down next to me, Nate put his arm around me and calmly said, “I want you to know there is nothing that can’t be stopped or unwound. The invitations haven’t been sent. And they don’t have to be.”

I’m sure his heart was pounding as he watched me unravel. No doubt he wondered if our relationship was unraveling, too. But if he was panicky, he never let it show.

BoxesI swept my arm toward our wall of gift boxes and kept going. “Yes, but what about all those? Oh my word…”

“All those gifts can be returned,” he said, pulling me close. “Don’t worry about any of that. We can fix it all. And there’s no law that says we have to get married on November 29.”

My only response was whimpering and sniffling. Nate reached in his pocket and gave me the handkerchief he always carried. Twisting that in my hands seemed to bring a measure of calm.

We sat this way for a long time without saying anything more. Nate never stopped holding me firmly, a powerful example of “love is patient.”

He waited for me to say something, and finally I did. “Am I going crazy?”

“Not at all. I think lots of people get nervous about getting married. It’s very natural.”

“Yeah, but…. it’s usually the guy,” I said, giving him a weak smile.

“Not this guy,” he said, kissing me on the forehead.

I buried my face in his chest. “I’m worried that marriage might be harder than we think, and we might be disappointed. You might be disappointed…. in me.”

“Never,” he said. “Each day that goes by, I love you more and more. Whatever comes along, we’ll be able to work it out. I know we will. I’m sure of that.”

The only thing I could think to do was grab onto him and hold on tight.

(…to be continued)

“When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” (Psalm 94:19)