Category Archives: Life’s disappointments

Mary’s Light

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The days before someone moves from earth to heaven are sacred ones, and Mary is in the middle of this remarkable time. Because she is, her family is there, too. God’s close presence is evident in her calm, quiet demeanor, and the rest of us are taking our cues from her. Coming close to the most spectacular life-event she will ever experience has not unnerved her at all. That’s because she’s completely ready.

Although Mary has become quiet and spends most of her time sleeping, she still has a will to greet her loved ones with a gentle smile when they enter the room, giving each a few loving words as they do. She’s in no pain and needs meds only to hold off nausea and get solid sleep at night. But even as her body loses its battle with disease, her face grows more beautiful by the day.

Mary’s grown children, nieces, and nephews have been a steady presence, making meals, doing laundry, and encouraging one another. But her 11 grandchildren have been kept at bay. That’s because most are very young, and little people bring noise, commotion, and a general hubbub.

peterson-grands

But that hasn’t stopped these grands from sending a stream of words and drawings to encourage their grandma, the older ones describing in words what she means to them. As this person whom they adore so much becomes quieter, their messages of love become louder. And more descriptive:

  • You are my hero.
  • I love how you love candy and gum.
  • I love all the things you do and the person you are.
  • You have an amazing, godly heart that leads people to God.
  • You have all the right in the world to freak out, but you are calm and faithful.
  • In my mind you are super-grandma.
  • You make me think anything is possible. You make me want to run a 10,000 mile run, and I hate running!
  • Even though your troubles are big, you still are positive and love others and God.
  • Your heart is filled with joy, and you spread that joy to me.
  • You love when you are at your darkest days.
  • I love how you love the game of baseball.
  • You are very generous.
  • I will always and forever love you, even if you’re not here.
  • You’ve made me a strong Christian.
  • You mean so, so, so, so, so, so, soooo much to me.
  • You’ve been a light in the world, showing all the traits of a godly woman.
  • God has used you in so many ways in his plan.
  • You like to give gum to people from your car of wonders.
  • I will never, ever stop loving you.

And one more, my personal favorite:

  • Grandma, you are like a flashlight in a world full of darkness.

This grandmother has done a good job “shining for the Lord” in front of her grands, and they’ve all seen this light in her. A while back she told me that her greatest concern in leaving them is not being able to continue coaxing them toward Jesus.

One of her older grandchildren wrote out Isaiah 14:27 for her, which says nothing can stop God’s plan for a person’s life. And apparently his plan is that Mary’s life, including her godly glow as a grandma, will soon end. Yet her influence will shine for decades to come.

When Mary was asked if she had any prayer requests, her whispered answer was consistent with the rest of her life: “Pray that I’ll finish strong and give all the glory to God,” a couple of brightly shining requests.

“Prove yourself to be blameless and guileless, innocent and uncontaminated…. in a generation among whom you are seen as a bright [flash] light in a world of darkness.” (Philippians 2:15, loosely translated from the Amplified version)

Developments with Mary

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Seven weeks have passed since I last blogged about my sister Mary’s health. Against all medical odds, she has lived a very full and active life after her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, feeling tip-top for 2½ years – until last week. 13938379_926581317094_5277760914017539555_nBefore then, she rode her bike to the beach where she built sand sculptures and played games with grandchildren. She even went tubing! She babysat for many of the children and continued to cook big meals and to entertain.     img_4103She had the energy to paint one of her bedrooms, and when the color didn’t turn out quite right, she returned to the store, bought different paint, and painted the whole thing again the next morning. But then last week arrived with a sudden onset of cancer symptoms. What had been occasional weak periods became constant. And it was difficult to sleep at night because she couldn’t get comfortable. Her abdomen filled with fluid, causing shortness of breath and extreme fatigue. She said, “Being short of breath like this gets so intense, I just can’t continue with what I’m doing. Climbing steps without stopping to catch my breath is impossible now.” Both she and her husband Bervin felt the time was right to sign up with the Michigan Hospice at Home group, which is the same organization that helped us so much when Nate was sick. Hospice responded with immediate help for Mary’s sleepless nights (a sleep aid) and her uncomfortable abdomen (a draining of the fluid). They have the desire and the expertise to deal with every symptom she will encounter, and both Mary and Bervin have strong confidence in them. Hospice’s continual question is, “What can we do for you?” Mary and Bervin have chosen to settle-in here in Michigan for the duration, in the cozy cottage where Mary and her family have come since the 1940’s. She’s enjoying the arrival of her favorite season with its cooler temperatures and beautiful trees. “We don’t know what the future holds,” she said today, “but are trusting God to see us through whatever comes.” She expresses continual appreciation for your many faithful prayers and hopes that you’ll continue. But her greatest comfort, even more than Hospice, is God himself. She’s written down her favorite Scriptures to cover any difficult days ahead, and when I asked for a sample, she recited this: You [Lord] will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal. (Isaiah 26:3-4) And here’s a concluding word from Bervin to all of you dear blog readers: img_4102Thank you, friends, for your love and concern for Mary. Some have asked if they could visit, but in the last few days her energy level has lessened substantially, so we are limiting company to family only.  I know how much Mary means to each of you, so please continue to pray for her and our family. As this news gets around, her email inbox has become jammed with messages and questions. Please understand that she cannot answer them all. Cards of encouragement, though, would be greatly appreciated… sent to our Chicago address. Your support and prayers have been such a blessing to us. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Berv, for all of us. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” (Lamentations 3:22-24)

You won!

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1959Back in 1958, I was in the eighth-grade, struggling to get through some very awkward years. Since I wasn’t in the popular group, I saw my fellow students as superior and myself as inferior. The girls had shapely figures, swingy hair, trendy clothes, and better grades. I was pudgy, wore serviceable clothes, was a C-student, and had bushy eyebrows. I lived for weekends, vacations, and any other time I could avoid being in school.

But then something wonderful happened.

I knew I had below-average artistic skills but had signed up for a ceramics class…. because that’s what the cool kids did. Our teacher asked each of us what we wanted to make. In a nod to my sweet tooth, I settled on a cookie jar. And what better design than a girl’s head with a big, cookie-eating mouth?

Day after day I worked on my creation, doing my very best. But the result was a badly-proportioned head that could have been the centerpiece of a horror movie.

img_4044I was sure my teacher had to stifle a laugh every time he looked at it, but one day, after our projects had come out of the kiln and were finally finished, he approached my table. “I like what you made, Margaret. And I’ve decided to enter it in a contest.”

I was stunned. And thrilled!

The following weekend my family of five traipsed into a Wieboldts department store nearby and found my cookie jar standing proudly behind glass alongside other entries. And I’d actually won something! Not a blue ribbon or any ribbon for that matter, but a Certificate of Merit. I was delighted, though, because that gold seal awarded me something I’d wanted far more than even a blue ribbon — approval!

The glow continued through Monday in ceramics class, when my teacher poured on the praise for my accomplishment. And oh, did that feel good.

img_4025Once in a while, as we walk through life doing our best, we take on an inferiority complex, absolutely sure we’re a disappointment to God. We see ourselves as spiritual failures and would give anything to feel the glow of his approval. The truth, though, is that once we commit to Jesus Christ, we’ve already won it – because we’ve come to him through his Son, of whom he highly approves. He even has a prize ready for us, despite the accomplishment being all Christ’s and not ours. It surpasses certificates, gold seals, even blue ribbons: an eternity with him, in the light of his permanent approval.

As for my future ceramic efforts, I peaked with the cookie jar.

The world will know that You sent me and have loved them [Jesus-followers] even as You have loved Me. (John 17:23)