Taught by a Sister

IMG_1421All my life I’ve followed after my sister Mary. Though she was born 20 months before me, in many ways she’s always been decades ahead of me, at least in the lessons-learned department. Whether she’s been aware of it or not, she’s been my teacher all the way along. And now she’s showing me (and many others) how to respond when her faith is tested.

Some might say, “What do you mean by faith being tested?”

Receiving a terminal diagnosis has the power to shake us to the core and forces us to think about things we never thought about before. In the process, virtually everything changes.

It’s natural to ask, “Why was I singled out for such a horrible reality? Why not someone else?” Although there are no satisfying answers, that doesn’t stop us from asking.

But Mary’s response to the words “pancreatic cancer” has never been to ask why. As she absorbed the harsh truth that first day, she was coping in a way that pleased God. She didn’t have a clear understanding, but her mentality was one of acceptance. She said, “God knows best.” And that equates to an A+ in a test of faith.

But something else was going on, too, in her initial response. Mary wasn’t asking why or feeling singled out, because she had already fully accepted that death was part of life… not just for her but for all of us.

Yesterday a blog reader made an astute observation that got me thinking. In response to Mary’s blog she wrote:

I am in the same boat with you, Mary. I, too, have a terminal illness. And if Jesus doesn’t come first, there’s a 100% chance I’ll die from it. It’s genetic– both my parents have it, and sadly, both my precious little daughters have inherited this disease from me. Oh, and my dear husband has it too. But thankfully, there’s a cure; it’s Jesus. I realize how foolish I am to live like I don’t have the “cancer” of sin. Cancer or not, I need to be living exactly like you… making the absolute most of every moment, leaning on Jesus for wisdom to make every decision, and being content to live a “normal” life for as long as I can, overwhelmed with gratitude.

Reading her comment was an “ah-ha” moment for me. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of cancer in that way before, since we all have sin-cancer. Not one of us is without a terminal diagnosis.

M&MIf we’ve truly internalized this biblical truth, receiving bad news like Mary did becomes less of a crisis. And I hope when my time comes, whether the test involves physical cancer, sin-cancer, or both, I hope I remember everything Mary taught me.

“The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 3:23)

Mary’s Thoughts on Fear

The last couple of days we’ve been listening to a patient’s view of living with deadly cancer. Tonight Mary shares what works for her in fending off fear:

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Whenever fear creeps into my thoughts, I know it hasn’t come from God. The Bible flat-out says, “God has not given us the spirit of fear.” (2 Timothy 1:7) So if it doesn’t come from him, it’s coming from my enemy, Satan. Because of that, I need to quickly reject it, making sure fear doesn’t take hold of me. The honest truth, though, is that I’ve had to struggle hard against it.

One fear that’s assaulted me multiple times this year centers around my grandchildren. When they first heard I had cancer, they began praying God would heal me. So my concern is that after I die, these trusting children might be angry with God for not answering their prayers, and turn against him.

With ten grandsRight now they’re praying in the no-holds-barred way children do, which is why I worry. After I’m gone, I envision them asking, “If God loves me, why did he let my grandma die?” I want them all to love him no matter what happens with me, but that isn’t always easy for a child. Though I know I can’t control their lives, I have to fight fear over this issue.

I have to repeatedly remember that their relationships with the Lord are in his capable hands. My continual prayer is for their faith to hold and even somehow grow as a result of my death. I’m thankful for God’s reminder that he’s caring for them now and will care for them then, especially where faith issues are concerned.

One day a while back, our daughter Julia gave me a plaque that sits on my kitchen counter. It simply says, “Trust in the Lord.” God has used that short message to bring me back to reality many times by dispelling fear. Of course I don’t want to leave my grandchildren any time soon, but that decision isn’t up to me.

Trust in the Lord

The most effective antidote to fear is Scripture. It has the power to settle me and show me what’s true and what isn’t. God’s Word is an anchor that holds when storms come, because it has a power no other book has. It’s alive and active. It acts toward me in a way nothing else can, pointing me to the Lord and reminding me I’m not alone in my anxiety. He’s there battling the enemy alongside me, and his Word is a weapon against fear that never fails.

I don’t know how I could manage without the Lord accompanying me through this cancer. There isn’t a day that I don’t sense his closeness, and I’ll never stop thanking him for it. He has promised to be my ever-ready help whenever I need him and guarantees that my future is secure with him in heaven.

[ Tomorrow Mary will talk about you, blog readers. ]

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” (Psalm 37:5)

Mary continues…

Yesterday we got a glimpse into what Mary is thinking these days. In one sense, she’s waiting. Most of us bristle at having to wait for almost anything, but waiting for deadly cancer to show itself is possibly the worst wait there is.

Yet through these uncertain days, Mary’s faith has remained certain. Today she describes her lowest cancer-related moment and what she did to get past it:

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Practically every Christian has memorized Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good to them that love God.” But life offers up all kinds of “things” that can’t possibly result in anything good. At least that’s our perspective going through them. But God’s Word is true no matter what we think.

All of us experience dark days when it seems life can’t get any worse. My most recent experience with that occurred on the day I learned I had pancreatic cancer.

My lowest point came when I realized I had to call each of our 7 children with the bad news. As they wept and agonized over my dim prognosis, I wept, too. What mother wants to call their children and strike them with pain like that? What mother wants to make her grown children cry?

Though I knew in my head that having cancer wasn’t my fault or my choice, at that low moment it felt like I was responsible for the pain my children were feeling. And since they weren’t coping well, neither was I. It was one of the darkest days of my life.

But God comes close to the brokenhearted. In the middle of nearly unbearable pain, he puts his arms around us by way of Scripture and offers practical help, personalized to our needs. When I was suffering most, I heard God’s whisper into my soul: “All things will work together for good. Even this.”

I couldn’t see it then or even for days afterwards, but now, at the one year point, I can see how he kept his promise. Here’s some of it:

Family, friends, and even strangers began lifting my name and my family’s names to the Lord for his immediate help. Many promised to pray for me not just once but every day! Others sent cards, emails, Bible verses, encouraging words of all kinds… by the hundreds! A year later, it hasn’t stopped.

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But there’s more. My children came and are still coming from far and wide, again and again, supporting their parents and also each other. My grandchildren have spoken tender words of love to me. And we’ve all gained a broader perspective on eternity, connecting it in new ways to life on earth.

I’ve received visitors bringing gifts, food, and especially a desire to pray over me, calling out for strength and encouragement, which then traveled from God through them and into me.

God has blessed me with more good days than bad this year, and several days were downright spectacular! I got to welcome two new grandbabies and see a daughter get married. It was an important year full of family joy.

Best of all, though, my terminal diagnosis drove me to God and his Word like never before. I’ve leaned on him harder than at any other time in my life and have soaked my brain in Scripture. He taught me how to take full advantage of his promises and gave me a golden opportunity to testify to others that the supernatural peace the Bible promises is available even in the middle of terminal cancer.

And all of this is God “working things together for good.”

[ Tomorrow Mary will share how she resists the enemy’s desire to make her fearful. ]

“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You.” (Job 42:5)