Category Archives: Life’s disappointments

Setbacks

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The last time my grandchildren were visiting me in Michigan, I found 5 year old Skylar rifling through my trunk of board games, looking for something to play. I hadn’t seen most of those tattered old boxes for quite some time, and they brought back memories of when our kids were young, though not always happy ones. I remember often saying yes to a game but only reluctantly: “Just one, OK?” (After all, some of them could last for hours!)

Chutes and Ladders boxOne of the games our little boys loved was Chutes and Ladders. With the spin of a dial, game pieces would move ahead one square at a time, starting at #1 and marching toward #100, where a Blue Ribbon was waiting.

The only trouble was, this was a game that might have no end. The directions read, “Ladders lead up only; chutes lead down only.” And if players landed on too many chutes, the game morphed into a marathon.

Chutes and Ladders boardReal life is full of chutes, too. We call them setbacks. It’s especially true if we’re already on a path to some kind of comeback. But no restoration process is without its backward slides, whether it’s a reconciling marriage, a rehabbing addict, a healing widow, or, as in Mary’s case, a recuperating patient.

 

For the past several days Mary has been harassed by sharp abdominal pains every time she moves. It seemed localized around her feeding tube, and after the experts unclogged that, they expected improvement. But the pains continued, and so an infection was suspected. Twenty-four hours of antibiotics didn’t help, so today she underwent a detailed scan of the area. Dr. Truty’s report was, “Everything looks good.” One possibility, he said, is bowel spasms, which should clear up on its own.

Mary had been “The Poster Child for Whipple Surgery,” both before and after. She amazed the doctor, the hospital staff, and all of us with her eager-beaver approach to regaining strength. Maybe that’s why hitting a setback isn’t just about pain in the abdomen but also about pain in her spirit. And when anyone experiences the double-whammy of physical and emotional pain together, discouragement can’t be far behind.

But Mary has maintained all along that her hope is in the Lord and his Word. As she says, it’s an anchor that always holds. No matter how dispiriting the circumstances, God’s promises remain true. They don’t get worn out, spoiled, or out-of-date, and neither does he. Her Father is partnered with her for the duration, and as she needs an increase in courage, stamina, and/or optimism, he will deliver. She’s counting on it.

UP to feeling betterThen, in due course, just like with Chutes and Ladders, she’ll find herself bypassing the chutes and landing on a ladder that will elevate her directly to feeling better. And we hope it’s very soon.

“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise.” (Jeremiah 17:14)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For abdominal pains to cease
  2. For permission to return home by the weekend
  3. Praise for so much uninterrupted time with Bervin
  4. Praise for family and friends who faithfully pray without giving up

The Best Laid Plans

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SanibelThe last week of March is normally the pivot of my sister’s year because her entire family gathers to share a long-standing tradition: a vacation on Sanibel Island, Florida. That’s 1 husband, 7 children, 4 in-law children, 9 grandchildren, and her.

We can credit Nate with “finding” Sanibel, though it’s been on the map for quite some time. He first visited the island in 1966 on a college spring break with his roommate. Promising himself he’d return one day, he finally did in 1979, with a wife and 3 children in tow. Sanibel’s unsullied beauty charmed us all and brought us back year after year.

???????????????????????????????Mary’s family, vacationing on Marco Island farther south, occasionally visited Sanibel, and eventually we convinced them to vacation there, too. The island became our extended family gathering spot where even our elderly parents joined in. Though a family financial crisis kept Nate and I from regular vacations after 1990, Mary’s family continued the Sanibel tradition.

Actually, they’re supposed to be on the island right now.

Plane tickets had been purchased. Road trips planned. Deposits paid. Twenty-two people had all but put their clothes into suitcases when cancer was found. As Mary and Bervin pursued medical facts and an accurate diagnosis, they encouraged the rest of their family to head for Sanibel anyway. “All of you should go,” they said.

But not one of them would.

Instead, they rallied around their parents and committed to staying close by and available through the cancer journey. Not once have I heard a complaint or an if-only from any of them.

I had one, though: “If only they could have had their time in Sanibel before finding cancer…. Or maybe afterwards.”

That’s when God brought me up short, as he often has to do. “Did it ever occur to you I kept them from going to Sanibel on purpose, for My purpose?”

Here are the thoughts the Lord gave me: “There’s virtually no medical help on that island. Even the hospital located off the island couldn’t compare to the world class medical care Chicago and Rochester gave them. You didn’t see it coming, but I saw Mary’s 104.6 fever. And I saw her cancer. And I kept her home to facilitate immediate, expert help.”

He went on: “I also structured it so that 20 family members would have an ideal opportunity to show love to Mary and Bervin by setting their own disappointment aside and rallying around them.”

Oh.

When something in life blindsides us, it’s important to note the timing. In the Bible we see God unfolding all kinds of intricately timed plans in the lives of his people, and he’s still doing it today. My knee-jerk reaction about a missed vacation was, “What a shame.” A better response would have been, “I trust you to know best, Lord.”

Thankfully Mary’s entire family reacted with nothing but love.

7 kids minus Jo“Put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For the newly-prescribed antibiotics to work well on the infection that’s developed around Mary’s feeding tube
  2. That God will work it out to head home Thursday to receive Marta (flying into Chicago from Arkansas Friday morning).
  3. Praise for some tomato soup today. Mary said, “It tasted so good!”
  4. Praise for reminders of God’s presence at Mayo’s. Today a volunteer piano player was singing and playing “How great is our God!”

Healed?

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For the last month I’ve loved blogging about my favorite sister, Mary. But I know she feels funny having so much attention focused her way. But my idea, as well as hers, has been to update readers on her progress while simultaneously directing attention to the Lord, who has been dramatically present each day.

Several blog readers have made mention of beautiful St. Mary’s Hospital where Mary had her surgery (owned by Mayo Clinic), some having visited there themselves, and one having trained as a nurse there.

photo(120)Just before surgery, Mary, Luke, and Stina took a brief walk around the historied hospital and ended up standing in the cathedral-like chapel, being reminded that God the Healer was at work within that medical complex.

Hospitals are full of doctors, nurses, medicines, and all manner of healing equipment. But behind all of those is the control of the Great Physician. And he doesn’t just deal in physical healing but also that of the emotions, mind, spirit, and most importantly, the soul.

One blog reader, Ann, wrote, “I loved… the chapel within the hospital. It was always a picture to me that God is at the center of real healing.”

I think of all the healing Jesus did in scriptural stories, and it seems that nearly everyone who asked was healed. People followed him in a pack, carrying the injured and ill along with them, confident that Jesus would heal them all. And usually he did.

In Luke we read, “The people all tried to touch him, because power was coming from him and healing them all.” (6:19) So, why doesn’t he usually heal like that these days?

Healing 10 lepersThe only answer can be that he wants to use disease and accidents as teaching venues for healing in other categories. Maybe if our diseases were always healed outright, we’d walk away giddy with joy and forget to acknowledge or listen to the One who healed.

A biblical example of that shows 10 lepers racing off in their new, healthy bodies without acknowledging Jesus at all. Though one did come back, the majority didn’t. Maybe without our health struggles, we’d all be like that.

Mary doesn’t know what will happen in her earthly future, whether or not pancreatic cancer will revisit her, or if she’ll be healed. “There are no guarantees,” she said. But either way, her illness has driven her to the Lord with fresh eagerness to hear from him. Scripture has been her food, and she has gobbled up big helpings of it like never before.

Mary does have a guarantee about one thing in her future though. Her heavenly body, whenever it comes to her, will be miraculously healed, and that will include her heart, mind, and soul, too, because God will be the Healer who does it.

“I am God your healer.” (Exodus 15:26)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Praise for gaining expertise with equipment and less dependence on pain meds.
  2. For a profitable visit with Dr. Truty Wednesday afternoon
  3. To find a comfortable position for better nighttime sleep