Category Archives: Marriage

Newlywed Love (#101)

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September 21-26, 1970

Each week seemed to be busier than the one before, and Thursday of this week would include the 3 hour drive to Chicago and back for Mary’s surprise baby shower. She was due in two weeks, and there was no way I was missing this fun evening. Besides, my knitted sweater and hat were ready, and I couldn’t wait to give them to her.

Nate didn’t think it was wise to drive a 300 mile round trip for a couple of hours at a party, but I just had to go. My had principal refused to give me a day off, either that day or the next, so I planned to teach and then leave straight from school.

Asleep behind the wheelThat part didn’t bother Nate, but thinking of me driving home late after a long, tiring day seemed to him like a recipe for falling asleep behind the wheel. “It’s risky,” he said.

But he knew how much I wanted to go, so the only solution was for him to go too – which he willingly offered. I tried to tell him I’d be fine, but with 4 driving accidents on my record, he didn’t like the odds.

Once I knew he’d be joining me, the plan became twice as fun. We agreed I would drive on the way while he studied; he would study during the event and then drive home.

M and MThe shower took place at a glamorous Chicago apartment in a glass-walled high-rise with a beautiful view of Lake Michigan. Mary was genuinely surprised when she walked in, and we loved showering her with gifts and good wishes.

The devotional, given by a friend named Judy, described mother- hood as a privilege and children as gifts. As I listened, I day-dreamed of becoming a mother… but knew it would have to wait for some distant day.

The dinner-shower went longer than we anticipated, and when Nate and I finally pulled into our Champaign neighborhood, it was nearly 3:00 AM. In my journal I wrote, Both of us were grogged.

Just a few hours after we’d fallen into bed, I was up and off to Danville for an all-day education workshop, hard to take on 3½ hours of sleep. I dozed through much of it and was bleary when I finally got back in the car to drive the 40 miles home.

On rampAs I drove up the ramp to get on I-74, a car behind me was tailgating so close I couldn’t believe it hadn’t bumped me. Noticing two young men who loomed large in my rear view mirror, I figured they must just be in a terrible hurry.

Once we blended into traffic, I expected them to go around me, but they didn’t. They stayed tight to my rear bumper no matter which lane I changed into or what speed I drove.

On top of that, my car began making a strange noise, seeming to resist my foot on the gas pedal, and I got scared. If I had to pull over, I knew those guys would pull over right behind me.

(Conclusion tomorrow)

“He will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.” (Psalm 91:11)

Newlywed Love (#100)

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September 16-20, 1970

The weather continued to be warm and summery, tempting us to take longer walks around the neighborhood. Sometimes we’d hike the mile to Cathy and John’s place and knock on their door unannounced, but they always welcomed us in for cookies and coffee.

Good pals

Then, as we walked home, we’d rehash the conversation, usually landing on the mounting differences between us. Although we four had always gotten along well, whenever we discussed anything related to Christianity, friction developed.

It was frustrating for all of us as each couple tried to convince the other of a better way to think about life. On our walks, Nate and I wondered aloud where our friendships might be lead.

But on most nights, our evening walks brought nourishment to our marriage. Stepping away from law books, dinner dishes, and teaching prep allowed us to share what was on our minds and stay current with each other. It was also a chance to count blessings.

sidewalk.One night as we were walking to no place special, Nate said something surprising. “I made a big decision today,” he said, “and I think you’ll be pleased.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve decided to interview for my first law job in the Chicago area rather than anywhere else.”

 

“Oh wow!” I said, genuinely elated. “That’s fabulous!”

“I may not find one,” he said, “so don’t get too excited yet, but I’m going to try.”

We stopped walking so I could smother him with kisses. I couldn’t wait to move back to where so many relatives and friends lived.

The last time we’d driven past the city on our way back to Champaign, I’d snapped a photo — quietly hoping I’d one day be able to call Chicago home again.

As we turned back toward our apartment, my feet could hardly keep from skipping. Nate had put his undeserving wife at the top… again… giving me what I wanted most, and I was overwhelmed by his selflessness.

Job hunting in his home town of 30,000 would have been the more comfortable choice, but apparently Nate was willing to comply with whatever Chicago might require. He’d have to learn how to do life in a giant city for the first time — but he was game to try.

And I was thrilled.

SkylineOur walk concluded with his statement that the upcoming new semester would be his last in law school. He would graduate in January of 1971. The challenging Bar Exam would follow, two days of demanding tests every grad had to pass in order to practice law. Many didn’t succeed on the first try — something new to worry about.

That night we began praying about the changes coming, each one with heavy decisions attached. And we asked God to please go ahead of us and set things up before we got there – wherever “there” ended up to be.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Newlywed Love (#99)

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September 12-13, 1970

 

DQAlthough Nate was a diligent student who put his work ahead of almost everything else, I never had trouble coaxing him to take a break with me – whether it was to go for a walk, splurge on a Dairy Queen cone, or head into the bedroom.

I felt secure in knowing that though his studies were important to him, he made me an even higher priority. What girl could want more than that?

After a grueling week, especially for him, we were eager for the weekend when Chicago friends Kathy and Bob would arrive for 24 hours. The 4 of us had met in undergrad days — Kathy and I at Wheaton, Bob and Nate at Northwestern.

These two had actually introduced Nate and I on that fateful blind date when I’d worn only underwear beneath my Jackie Kennedy coat. We would be forever indebted to them.

Bob and NateBob and Nate had much in common. Both were in law school, and both loved discussing current events. Both were facing uncertainty with the Army gobbling up young men as it was, and both were working hard to please their new wives.

When Kathy and Bob arrived, we enjoyed catching up on all our friends from college days, and the weekend was a big success. We visited a flea market where Nate splurged on two spoon rings for us. Bob picked up the tab at the Chinese restaurant, and we howled over silly pictures from our early days together.

 

Saying goodbyeAfter Sunday morning breakfast, once again we found ourselves in the street in front of our building waving goodbye, wondering when we’d next see these two special people.

Though Nate and I were late for the church service, we were on time for our Sunday school class of young marrieds, which met afterwards. Ralph, the head pastor everyone loved, was our teacher, and he was always ready with stirring questions that prompted lively discussion each week.

I admired the way he settled debates with Scripture. On this particular Sunday, though, we were surprised by what happened. One of the young husbands, Martin, was frustrated by the way the dialogue was going and began criticizing Ralph with harsh words.

First Baptist Church of Urbana, ILThe rest of us sat speechless as he raised his voice and overstepped his bounds, saying things we knew he would regret. Ralph, trying to be gracious, was being steamrolled, and none of us knew what to do.

Then Nate jumped in.

He addressed Martin directly, and without using any unkind words, he pointed out the flaws in his arguments. Then he took Martin to task over the way he was disrespecting our pastor, silencing him in the process. As Nate spoke, I glanced at the others in the room. Some were nodding. Others were grinning. And I was bursting with pride.

Though Ralph reached out to Martin after class, Martin seemed unable to reach back, but I imagine our soft-spoken pastor thought about that difficult morning all afternoon.

I've got it goodDuring our evening stroll, Nate asked for my opinion about the class, hoping he hadn’t said too much. I assured him his words were very much needed, and after praising his tactful but effective Martin-muzzling, my only other thought was, “I feel sorry for his wife…”

….which, of course, was because I had it so good.

“As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:10)