Category Archives: Marriage

Newlywed Love (#15)

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December 29, 1969

During this golden time of togetherness without any traveling or visitors (or even classes), Nate and I moved through our days as if in a dream – a shared dream that had come true. We couldn’t get enough of each other and frequently found ourselves back in the comfort of our “new” bed, just wanting to hold onto each other and murmur sweet words.

M and NAs we came to December 29 and our first month anniversary, we agreed that our every expectation of marriage so far had been met and surpassed. We knew life probably couldn’t continue indefinitely on that idyllic level, but as long as it did, we planned to relish every minute.

Despite our financial struggles, we decided our anniversary called for a dinner out. We went one step above McDonald’s to a restaurant called Lum’s that had a similar menu. At least at Lum’s we didn’t have to eat in the car. But we drew the line at purchasing gifts — too expensive.

Nate told me he thought we could borrow $100 from the University of Illinois to get us over our financial hump… the equivalent of about $650 today. We prayed about it, hoping we were doing the right thing. Behind our borrowing was the hope that once Nate graduated from law school, he could earn enough in his first job to dispose of the debt.

Both sets of parents also offered to match the university funds, partly because they wanted us to pay a carpet layer to put down the donated (used) carpeting they had shipped to us. They assured us they wouldn’t need the money back any time soon.

If Nate could find a decent part-time job in January, we figured we could chip away at our debts — along with paying our regular bills – while he was still in law school.

Borrowing

Meanwhile, we never doubted God was taking care of us and made a point to ask him for guidance in every decision. And as we nervously made plans to borrow this “pile” of money, it was good to see that Nate credited the Lord as being the One who put together the rescue from our immediate dilemma.

Borrowing.

“Blessed is he whose help…. is in the Lord his God.” (Psalm 146:5)

Newlywed Love (#14)

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December 28, 1969

Our quick Christmas trip to each other’s families had been worthwhile and fun, but then we got to “go home” with just each other. We were both thankful for a few more days before our school schedules resumed…. and all that time apart.

Nate, who made a habit of clipping articles I might enjoy, gave me this one:

Sage advice

Those were my sentiments exactly, and we planned to make the most of our few quiet days together. Recreating some of our early dating weeks, we bundled up and took long walks in the snow.   (Below, December 1966)

Snowy walksAnd when we returned to our little “nest,” we coined a new word: snestle. It was the combination of snuggling and nestling, something we did a lot of during that carefree time.

Sitting on the floor between the light of our Christmas tree and the flickering fireplace, we made the momentous decision that when spring came, maybe we’d get…. a dog.

 

Our fireplaceBuying a little red stocking (half-off after Christmas), we hung it on our mantle between our bigger ones and admired the look of it.

One of the long talks we had during this time was about finances and our lack thereof. My small “country” salary always found us short, and we’d begun borrowing small amounts from both sets of parents, $50 here and there, to get through each month.

This made both of us uncomfortable, and though we were giving blood on a regular basis for $25 a shot, they wouldn’t let us give more than once every 6 weeks.

Also, we were still struggling along with one car after selling the Corvette, and with my long commute, Nate was the one usually left scrambling. Dad had promised we’d get back to our car search in January, and we wondered aloud how we could possibly swing that big purchase, plus licensing and insurance.

Our conclusion was that Nate would hunt for work, and though I wondered how he could hold a part-time job and still do well in school, he was confident he could make it work. He suggested slowing his studies — attending fewer classes while working a job. This would make for a later graduation, but it was one way to conquer the problem.

MacaroniWe weren’t worried. Talking quietly together in the afterglow of Christmas gave everything, even tight finances, a promising feel. Meanwhile, we increased our intake of hot dogs, baked beans, and macaroni. At least I knew how to cook them.

“The Lord protects all those who love him.” (Psalm 145:20)

Newlywed Love (#13)

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December 27, 1969

Mother-in-law LoisSpending Christmas with my in-laws and then Nate’s was a good plan. Although we’d had mild opposition from both sets of parents about setting our wedding date months previously, there had never been any resistance about who each of us had chosen to marry.

I felt complete acceptance from the Nymans (right, with Nate’s mother; below, Nate with his father), and Nate knew he was welcomed by the Johnsons.

 

Nate and red jacketThis cheerful approval was quite different, at least on my side, from what I’d experienced while dating my non-Christian boyfriend. Although Mom and Dad had always been kind to him when he was in their home, privately it was another story.

 

Dad, especially, had been concerned about the possibility of me committing to a partnership that would be “unequally yoked,” as the Bible put it in the King James Version. (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Both parents and nearly everyone else in my circle of friends had seen clearly that this boyfriend and I were not unified in our core beliefs, the important values that would control all the opinions and decisions of the future…. for both of us. Even Mary and Bervin, always encouraging, had advised us to break up.

During those 18 months of dating, Dad would often wait up for me when I came in from a date, even when I arrived home at 2:30 or 3:00 AM. When I saw the light upstairs, I knew he would be waiting in my room with a frown and a lecture.

Often these tense conversations included the warning that if I committed to this boy, I would be unhappy long-term. And to back up his arguments, Dad would often leave pamphlets and articles in my room about the difficulty of marriage between a believer and a non-believer.

I felt terrible guilt about causing Mom and Dad such angst as I continued to date this boy, but hadn’t been enough to stop me. It was only the arrival of another girl that became God’s way of convicting me to leave him.

Now, though, after having married a man my parents respected and would have chosen for me themselves, everything was different. Being with my family was marked by easy acceptance. And it included light…. and laughter.

Nate’s and my relationship made them glad, which then nourished both of us. And since I’d known the opposite reality, my satisfaction during our Christmas visit was considerable.

Passing out gifts(Right, Mom distributes presents)

All of us exchanged simple gifts while we were together, but the most valuable one Nate and I received was the love and acceptance of both sets of in-laws – a gift that would matter on every holiday to follow, throughout the years.

“Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” (Romans 15:7)