Category Archives: Marriage

Newlywed Love (#12)

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December 24-25, 1969

Nate and I were much like many other young couples. The holidays found us traveling to spend time with both sides of the newly-joined extended family. With our schools on Christmas break, we had plenty of time to clock the necessary miles and were looking forward to reconnecting with our folks and others.

VW hatchback.We decided to spend Christmas Eve with Nate’s family and Christmas Day with mine, driving a large triangle with its sides measuring 137, 209, and 156 miles respectively. And we didn’t mind. Traveling along in his little VW gave us uninterrupted chat-time during which we dreamed out loud about our rosy future together.

As we drove, we talked about marriage “so far,” all 3½ weeks of it. Later, summarizing our conversation in my journal I wrote,

I’m amazed at how great an understanding Nate has of women and their needs, having had no sisters. He’s a psychological genius to me, especially in terms of my moods and responses. He always wants to see things from my side as well as his own, before making any decisions.

As the miles clicked away, I thanked Nate for working hard to understand me as a girl…. and also for the attitude of gratitude he championed whenever we were together. For example, since before we’d been married, he had thanked me for every single meal I’d made, whether it was a success or a failure. He thanked me for continuing to try at cooking and bought me two cook books in an effort to help.

He thanked me for cleaning the apartment – every time – even if I had only cleaned the bathroom sink. And he offered to share household chores, thanking me for letting him help.

He expressed appreciation when I did his laundry and thanked me for folding it. He thanked me for loving him and thanked me often for being willing to marry him.

Christmas EveAll of this gratitude had established a sweet tone in our little home, and my natural response was to look for ways to thank him back. I often felt gratitude but wasn’t good at getting those thoughts out of my head and delivered to him. But he wasn’t keeping track.

As for me, I was sort of keeping track – at least enough to know Nate was way ahead of me. If ever there was someone looking out for the interests of another ahead of his own, it was him. And as we covered those 500 miles over Christmas, I realized how truly fortunate I was to have him for my husband.

In my heart I knew it was God who was behind the whole thing, guiding me to finally give my heart to Nate many months ago and then to say yes to his proposal. And I needed to thank Him for that every single day.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.” (Psalm 118:29)

Newlywed Love (#11)

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December 22, 1969

High boy furnitureMuch to our delight, my friend Julie’s bedroom furniture arrived at our apartment a few days before Christmas. These 7 good-looking pieces transformed our bedroom from a hollow, echoing shell to a place of warmth and affection. The showy satinwood of which the furniture was made included delicate, inlaid pictures so intricate we wondered how any craftsman could have made them – back in the 1920’s!

Julie’s grandma had had the furniture custom-made out of wood from Australia, telling Julie the process had taken many months. The furniture had been her grandma’s pride and joy, but now grandma was gone, and Julie needed a place to store it until she could use it herself.

JulieSince Julie (left) was about to depart the USA for a career with Campus Crusade for Christ in Germany, she had no use for furniture. Nevertheless, it was generous and gracious of her to let us “store” it, knowing it could be at risk for damage.

Each piece of furniture was topped with a quarter-inch sheet of glass that reflected light in surprising ways, sometimes decorating our plain walls with stunning rainbows.

As several moving men hoisted all of it to our 3rd floor apartment, Nate and I watched in amazement, complimenting them lavishly on bringing everything to its destination without damage. Transporting slabs of glass took more effort than just the usual. We didn’t realize until later that these guys were probably expecting a hefty tip. At least I gave them each a drink of water.

After they’d gone, I couldn’t wait to paw through our wedding gifts for a set of brand new bed sheets. Unlike with our Murphy bed, everything would match this time.

A made bedPure white seemed appropriate in view of all the “pure” activities that would take place in the new/old bed. And once it was neatly made, the only fitting thing to do was for both of us to joyfully jump in and mess it all up.

 “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

Newlywed Love (#10)

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December 19, 1969

Once Nate and I settled the issue of who would buy the Christmas tree each year, we began enjoying our first holiday season together. Though Christmas Eve and Day would be spent with our parents and other relatives, the remaining days of December were just for us.

First ornamentMy sweet Aunt Joyce, an expert seamstress, had made me a casual evening gown of glittering lavender, “….for the times,” she said, “when it’s just you and Nate.” It was low cut and what she called “fetching,” a look Nate would love.

So when it finally came time to decorate our tree, I told Nate I had something special to show him first. When I came into the living room with my sparkly, floor-length outfit on, I learned what Aunt Joyce meant by “fetching.” Without a word, it fetched him right over to me!

Our decorating didn’t take very long. We’d gone to the local mall and each chosen one ornament as the start of a Nyman family tradition, so we did have those. And we had one string of lights for our giant tree, but that was all.

Nate's ornamentHowever, with great joy and lots of ceremony, we took turns hanging our two ornaments. Nate had picked a plastic one that resembled a stoplight with “jewels” on all four sides. I chose a delicate glass globe with a glitzy gold star inside.

And our multi-colored lights were a snap to put on, although we did it upside-down, ending with the plug at the top. It made for a good laugh and was no problem to re-hang them, since it was only one string.

Turning out the room lights and sitting on the floor beneath our tree was a moment of magic that would last a long time. Later I wrote in my journal:

Since we’ve been married for almost a month, the strong feeling I hold for Nate has increased ten-fold. It’s really a strong, secure bond of love. It seems that all the things we do for each other never go unreciprocated. Pleasing him pleases me.

Dec. journal

The next day we received some news that was even better than a Christmas gift. My Wheaton roommate Julie, the one who was going to “let us store” her grandma’s elegant bedroom set, called to say the furniture would be leaving Wisconsin on a moving truck the very next day.

After living with what we called a bare-naked bedroom for 4 months, at last we would have dresser drawers for putting away our clothes, mirrors to get ready in front of, and best of all, a real bed to sleep in…. with room in it to do lots of other things, too.

We couldn’t wait!

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” (Romans 12:10)