Category Archives: Marriage

Young Love (#120)

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November 24, 1969

The bedroom at our apartment was still empty, but the promise of Julie’s beautiful antique furniture kept us from worrying. It wouldn’t be delivered until some time in December, but that was fine with us. After all, when we returned from our honeymoon, we could sleep in the Murphy bed. Its swoopy metal bands drooped in the center, but what newlywed couple would mind meeting in the middle?

Nate and I were looking forward to eventually sleeping in a regular bed but were almost as eager to get some real dresser drawers. Clothes were being stored on the floor – not the best arrangement, especially since we had to pay high laundromat prices to get everything washed.

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Nate still did his own laundry since his clothes were kept at his rented room, but soon we’d be doing laundry together — which sounded fun! We knew we had to bring his clothes and books over from his rental before leaving on Wednesday, since his last rent check covered only through November. We wouldn’t be back until December 3rd.

That meant we had 3 days (actually just 3 evenings) to transfer everything over, pack for the wedding and honeymoon, and make the drive back to Wilmette. Packing was complicated since we needed separate piles for 3 pre-wedding nights and 4 honeymoon nights.

Our plan was to keep the honeymoon luggage separate and hide it in Nate’s VW before squirreling away the car in a Chicago parking garage. Knowing my family loved practical jokes, we were trying to keep risk at a minimum. It would help if our getaway driver could just quickly drop us at the Drake Hotel door. We could retrieve the car when it was time to drive back to Champaign.

Prep time was running out, and I still needed to shop for several clothing items. Nate needed to finish arranging and confirming the details of those precious-few honeymoon days. As we worked and planned, the three-day work-week seemed like nothing more than an obstacle to getting the really important things done. But Principal Scarce had made it clear he expected me to teach on those 3 days. And Nate knew missing more classes than the ones for our honeymoon might set him back badly.

IMG_5338Just when I was feeling intense time-stress, my groom did something that calmed my nerves. On Monday when Judy dropped me off at the apartment after work, Nate wasn’t home as he usually was.

But an hour later when the door opened, there he was, looking like Santa without a red suit. He was carrying two stuffed pillow cases and sporting a giant smile.

“What’s all this?” I said, after delivering a kiss.

“It’s your clothes,” he said. “I did your laundry for you — to save you some time!”

I hadn’t found time to do the wash but couldn’t pack till everything was clean. Realizing it had already been done, gave me just the lift I needed, and I threw my head back and laughed in appreciation. “Even the pillow cases are clean,” he said, happy about my reaction.

As always, Nate had been thinking of my needs ahead of his own and had come up with a practical way to help me. Never mind that the contents of the pillow cases needed the touch of an iron. This guy had found one more way to say I love you – and that’s what mattered most.

“Two people…. can help each other succeed.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9)

Young Love (#119)

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November 22-23, 1969

The weekend arrived, and Nate stepped into the apartment bright and early. “A week from now we’ll be hitched!” he said, picking me up and spinning me around. It was a moment of pure joy.

After packing up his VW, we headed back across the familiar route to Wilmette, hoping to tie up a few loose ends. For one, my gown hadn’t arrived at the bridal shop, and I wanted to find out why.

For another, we hadn’t decided what the 7 bridesmaids would wear on their heads. It was too late to order anything, but Mom thought we could fabricate something out of sewing scraps. I figured the girls could go topless (just their heads, of course), but Mom nixed that idea. “It’s a formal wedding,” she said. “Their heads need something on them.”

Avacado.When we walked into Mom and Dad’s house, we couldn’t believe the transformation. Their kitchen was completely put together, with something we’d never seen before: avocado appliances. And Mom had chosen a stove with, of all things, a glass top. Amazing. She had a double oven built right into the wall and a four-foot square fixture of fluorescent light on the ceiling. The whole thing looked like something out of the Jetsons!

 

In the corner she’d had her carpenter build a bench that sat along the south and west walls with storage underneath, “….so we can sit lots of bottoms around the table,” she said.

IMG_5329The living room had been carpeted in dusty blue and topped with several pieces of new furniture. Draperies would be delivered on Monday. The built-in cabinets (with lights) expanded the dining space and made Mom’s Sunday dishes look very pretty. “You two will be getting the old china cabinet,” she told us. We were delighted to know we’d finally have storage for our sweaters, shirts, and socks.

Mom was in her glory, tidying up and putting her well-worn pots and pans into new kitchen cabinets. Dad reported that the new sound system at Moody Church had been completed, an eight-month project. It had made a successful debut’ the Sunday before, lifting a heavy load from his shoulders.

The schedule for our wedding week was flapping on the new refrigerator door and included daily runs to the airport to shuttle incoming guests. By Wednesday, relatives from California and New York would all be on hand, and that’s when the real fun would begin.

IMG_5356Mom was especially eager for her son’s return from the east coast that same day.

 

 

 

 

As Nate and I drove back to Champaign on Sunday evening, my wedding gown was in transit to the bridal shop (we hoped), and we’d decided to put ribbon bows on the bridesmaids’ heads. It seemed every item had been checked off the list, and as we drove the 3 hours home, a feeling of deep contentment settled over both of us. A song by the Carpenters came on the radio: “We’ve only just begun.”

I turned to Nate and said, “Hey. Let’s make this ‘our song,’ OK? ”

His response surprised me. “Actually, I have a better one.”

“You do?”

“It’s, ‘You Make Me So Very Happy’.” And he grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live.” (Ruth 1:16)

Young Love (#118)

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November 20-21, 1969

Very soon my apartment was going to become our official first home as a married couple. Although Nate and I had accumulated several cast-off furniture items, most of the space remained empty. After 4 bridal showers, we had lots of china, crystal, and silver but no place to put it. For the most part, it was still in boxes.

IMG_5339My long-term friend Lynn offered to come and help make things home-ier for us. She and I had met at Moody Church when we were both in junior high school, when her parents had come to run the music ministry.

Lynn and I clicked right away, but our homes were separated by two suburbs – which meant we didn’t see each other during the week. Since phoning friends was frowned upon, we did most of our talking in the back rows during Sunday school and church.

IMG_5343When the weekends came, we pleaded for sleep-overs until our mothers finally chose a gas station half-way between our two homes where we made the girl-transfers. Our friendship grew quickly after that. (Left: pea-shooting at cars.)

We tried cigarettes together, had our first taste of alcohol together, dated brothers together, and snuck out of our homes during the night together. We got into trouble at camp together, dyed our hair orange together, hosted parties together when our parents were out of town…. and also taught Sunday school together. Our shared history was rich.

Lynn was full of artistic ideas. Over the years she taught me to knit sweaters, sometimes with such complicated patterns we’d be using five different colored yarns at once. She could also sew up a storm and taught me to make simple skirts and jumpers. Lynn was a whiz in the kitchen, too, and showed me how to make teriyaki chicken, among other things.

I knew that if she put her creative touches on our apartment, it would take on the warmth it lacked.

FullSizeRender(3)When she arrived, she’d brought a gizmo that made flowers out of yarn or string, and went to work using our 3 colors: orange, yellow, and kiwi green. Nate and I both loved the results. She also showed me how to arrange books and knick-knacks on our shelves in artistic ways and even initiated washing windows and hanging curtains.

Lynn was going to be one of my bridesmaids and was doing more than her fair share by sewing 3 of the gowns. But she was a pro at multi-tasking and was managing well, despite a full school schedule and a job. I was appreciative beyond words.

IMG_5344Our time working at the apartment was full of laughter and love – two old friends who had been through a decade of adventures together that had moved them from middle school to marriage. (Lynn’s wedding would be the following year.)

All this reminded me of how much I’d missed girl-time with her and other buddies back home. But stepping into marriage meant stepping out of that old life. Walking down the aisle was saying yes to radical change in every area. Was I ready?

As Nate and I stood holding hands while waving goodbye to one of my dearest friends, I had the feeling everything was going to turn out just fine.

“If anything is excellent or praiseworthy…. think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)