Category Archives: Marriage

Lymphoma?

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As Nelson’s hospital stay at the Kona hospital continued, doctors tried to pin down all that was wrong with him. Because of “unnumbered” nodules in his lungs, they went with lymphoma. Nelson was glad to hear it wasn’t lung cancer.

He had smoked off-and-on since his late teens but hadn’t had a cigarette for over six years. Surely that had been enough time to clean out his lungs from whatever damage might have occurred during his smoking years. And many lung cancer patients didn’t smoke at all, which meant, in Nelson’s case, it was possible he wasn’t responsible for bringing on the lung cancer. He hoped that was true.

From his journal:

May 12, 2022

I’m at the hospital for the 4th night now. Last time I was admitted here was in 2003 when I was almost killed in that wreck with [cousin] Andrew. This time, I might be here because I was reckless, too, [by smoking] but not recently. Maybe the mass in my lungs is from smoking or any number of other things that could give you lung cancer. It’s pretty much what I have. You never think it will happen to you, even though you have a chest pain once in a while and think of worse-case-scenarios like that.

Then all of a sudden a doc calls me on the phone after looking at a scan and tells me, “We found a mass next to your heart, and nodules without number in your lungs. Looks like general lymphoma.”

More tests and lots of coughing later, I’m here after having 1.3 liters of fluid drained from my right lung alone, in a hospital bed enjoying the buzz of a couple of pain pills as I stay here for the last night, hopefully.

It’s Annso’s birthday tomorrow, so I would like to be there for that if possible. She has been by every day so far. Thank God she’s willing to bend the rules when necessary, to see me. It would be super lonely without anyone with me.

Last night I had this panic attack, because I felt I couldn’t get enough air. Even just sitting here, I was out of breath, even on oxygen. [Cousin] Luke offered to help us get into the Mayo Clinic, if we wanted that.

We took him up on it, considering this island is a place where it’s hard to make things happen. When it’s something like a dryer you have on order that takes 12 weeks to get in and once it comes in, they don’t even call to tell you it’s in, you can laugh about it. When it’s your cancer scan results and they don’t bother sending them to the other doc or just lose them altogether, it’s hard to stick around and trust them with your life when there are other options.

I’m thankful, Lord, for Luke and his generosity, for BBC [Brentwood Baptist Church in TN] and theirs, for a total change of plans. For everything. Not what I would have wanted, but you can use it. I wonder how it will be. Like Papa? […died 42 days after diagnosis] Or will I get better, at least for a little while? NO one knows.

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“Do not throw away your confidence…” (Hebrews 10:35)

A Bad Phone Call

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After sharing a couple of Nelson’s journal entries from one year ago, we’ll go back to the day when he first heard the word cancer. We’ll see how his emotions responded after being told about it. He had gone to the emergency room after struggling to breathe, while also suffering from sharp pains in other areas of his body. His coughing wouldn’t stop, and getting a doctor to see him quickly on the big Island of Hawaii wasn’t possible. So it was the ER or nothing.

Doctors there admitted him and were in the process of gathering data through tests when Nelson first heard the word cancer. He was alone in a hospital bed, because Ann Sophie was home with newborn Will. Covid restrictions in Hawaii were still extensive, and she was running into problems when trying to visit Nelson in the hospital. But she was determined and ended up finding a nurse who “looked the other way,” allowing her to walk in.

The uncertainty of his symptoms was bad enough, but then he got a phone call with some terrible news.

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May 10 2022

Today is day 2 at the hospital, my second time coming in to the ER because the pain and coughing was so severe. Annso pretty much insisted I do it. I went to campus and taught the Korean Foundation School then came home, ate a nice salad with her and came up here [to the hospital]. 

Once I was here, there was this really young doctor who zeroed right in on fluid in the lungs. Once I told him I was coughing so hard at night and that I was so out of breath, he ran and got a mini-ultrasound machine and found fluid in my heart cavity and lungs. That led them to do tons of tests, including a CT scan showing a tumor or growth in my neck and a few lymph nodes in the lungs about 11 mm at the biggest. 

All of a sudden the fluid makes sense, the cough, and none of it has to do with the thyroid, which is what everyone has been looking at. So the admitting doc calls me on the phone and tells me she really thinks it’s cancer and so does the tech who does these scans all the time.

They will test more tomorrow, including a full body CT scan to see what else is going on. Maybe there are things growing in other places, not that these places aren’t severe enough. 

When she told me that, I could hardly believe it, but at the same time, I could. All the intense pain and coughing now add up. I even said a couple times, “If I was told I had stage 3 lung cancer, I would believe it, because it feels like I think that would feel.”

It’s yet to be confirmed, and I would love for her to be wrong, but everyone is praying and it seems a likely scenario. 

Lots of things come into perspective all of a sudden, but I try not to go worse-case-scenario right away. I think of what happened to Papa and wonder, “Will I be alive this time next year? Will I be alive at Christmas? Will I be alive still even in August?” Unknown for all of us, but especially me.

I don’t know anything, but the people I worry about the most are Annso and Will. What will they do? How hard for them will it be? I would have the easier situation, and they’d be left to pick up the pieces. How terrible. How terrible for her to be turned into a single Mom so soon after our answer to prayer and miracle [baby].

I don’t even want to ask WHY. Doesn’t matter, and no answer will come to that one anyway. I just think of those who went before me and how they did it. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that and I can beat it, whatever “it” is.

God, help me to know what to do now, to be the best man to Annso, strong and optimistic, someone she can rely on and knows what to do, the one who may not know, but knows who to trust. I pray for strength. I pray for healing, for a miracle, for different results on tomorrow’s test. For there to even be a mistake somehow. Thank you for getting Annso in here today. That was a miracle. I pray she gets in tomorrow, too. I pray for supernatural strength for her, too. What will happen to us? To me? To Will? Tomorrow will worry about itself. Amen. 

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down.” (Proverbs 12:25)

Moving Forward

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It’s been a busy medical week for Nelson and Ann Sophie with multiple appointments at the Mayo Clinic. Today is day #10 of Nelson’s targeted immunotherapy treatment, and like everything else, there’s an upside and a downside.

The upside is that it’s (hopefully) targeting the cancer cells in Nelson’s body, teaching his own immune system to fight back. The downside is that in these last days, after having had only mild nausea on the immunotherapy, now he’s vomiting again with greater intensity. Though Nelson had been off of all nausea medicine, not needing it, now the strongest of three med choices still isn’t helping.

In addition, his legs have become more swollen than ever (he called them tree trunks), so one appointment this week was to alleviate that. He received an IV combination of albumin (protein) and a diuretic to drain some of the fluid, which is leeching out of his veins and settling in the tissues—thanks to the cancer. The IV infusion lasted about an hour.

Since the IV, Nelson has lost eight pounds of fluid, which helped his swollen legs some. He’ll receive a second IV diuretic along with more albumin on Monday. If fluid continues to drain from his legs, bringing them closer to normal size, Mayo’s will custom-make compression stockings for him, which should help in the future.

Nelson’s left arm is also swollen, but for a different reason. A sizable blood clot is inhibiting the circulation in his arm by clogging three veins near the shoulder. (See picture.) But we learned something phenomenal about the human body today.

The doctor said that in two-thirds of people who have blood clots, the clots never resolve, even with blood thinners. In those cases, then, the body gradually begins to reroute the blood to nearby veins, expanding their use enough to move blood around the clotted area. (See the doctor’s pencil lines on picture.)

Nelson and Ann Sophie actually got to see these new veins in imaging tests today. To prevent additional clots, Nelson has learned that he’ll be on blood thinners for the rest of his life.

His medical team began the immunotherapy with a half-dose ten days ago, waiting to see if his system could tolerate it. The plan was to move to a full-dose regimen this week, but because of all the vomiting, that strategy is on hold for now. He takes one pill every morning exactly two hours after eating, and another every evening in the same way, putting the pills 12 hours apart. Ann Sophie has become a clock-watching cook and follows medical instructions perfectly.

Nelson says Ann Sophie could be an official member of the palliative care team with her expertise in administering meds and caring for Nelson’s every need, making him as comfortable as possible. She is still expertly draining his left lung daily, as well as managing their extensive home pharmacy of pill bottles. And she’s his strongest cheerleader throughout every day, without fail. We are all deeply gratef for her.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13)