Category Archives: Marriage

Young Love (#99)

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October 22, 1969

 

Once the Corvette had been sold, Nate and I began the juggling act of sharing one vehicle. Although I needed it to carpool to school, my friend Judy drove every other week — freeing Nate’s VW half the time. When I had the car, he walked or ran the 2 miles to campus for his law classes. Both of us hoped a second car would come along soon.

But there was another dilemma. Since Nate was still leaving the apartment each night to sleep in his rented room, I was left without a vehicle overnight. This bothered him a immensely. On the weekends I drove him home, then returned to the apartment, which meant I had a car overnight in case of emergency but had to walk into our building alone, after midnight – which bothered Nate even more.

The windowThen something happened that worsened everything. We had bought some curtains for the front window of our apartment, and one night very late, long after Nate had gone, I decided to hang them.

Standing on the radiator at the base of the window, I was sliding the fabric onto the curtain rod when a car full of rowdy young men pulled by in the street below. Their loud radio and boisterous voices could be heard even through my closed window.

Watching them stop directly in front of our building, I suddenly felt very vulnerable. And realizing my entire profile was visible through the window, I quickly hopped down and stepped to the side. As I did, I saw 4 guys get out of the car and head toward our building’s front door. Residential lobbies weren’t locked in those days, especially those not in big cities, and anyone could walk in and climb the stairs.

That’s when I heard their deep voices laughing and shouting…. and coming closer. They were coming up the steps.

Doorknob lockNot knowing what to do and feeling defenseless, I quietly put the curtain and its rod on the floor and tip-toed toward the door to be sure it was locked. As I got there and put my hand on the knob, what sounded like a big fist banged hard on the door, making the whole thing vibrate.

Thankfully it was locked, but I didn’t have the courage to set the chain. They were only inches away from me outside the door, and I didn’t want them to hear fear. As I stood frozen to the floor, one of them said, “Hey! Open up in there! We have a nice surprise for you!”

I didn’t respond but was sure they heard my heart pummeling my chest. “We’re going around presenting married couples with a special gift and just want to drop yours off.”

I was shaking all over and knew they were checking to see if I had a man with me. If Nate had been there, he would have already called the police, but that didn’t occur to me. I felt that if I left my post at the door, somehow they would get in…. a foolish idea, born of panic.

StairwellAs I saw them try the doorknob, a horrifying thought swept through me. We had a back door too, and maybe the group at the front was just distracting me while someone else was quietly stealing up the back. Even worse, I knew that that door was unlocked. We left it open as we came and went throughout each day, and I usually locked it just before going to bed.

(…to be continued)

“God has not given us a spirit of fear…. but of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Young Love (#98)

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October 18 – 19, 1969

 

The folks.In all the wedding excitement, Mom and Dad had a reason of their own to celebrate. It was their 28th anniversary, and as always, their weekend was crammed with activity. Mom was planning and attending a bridal shower, painting the living room, teaching Sunday school, playing the organ in church, shopping for drapes, making airport runs, and studying music choices for our wedding.

My Aunt Joyce and Uncle Edward (Dad’s brother) had come to town on their way from Washington DC back to California, and Nate and I had dearly hoped to join in on the fun. It was always a special treat to spend time with my aunt, my mentor, and yet things were happening in Champaign, too.

Nate was bearing down on his law studies with mid-terms on the horizon and was also hunting for a part time job.

As Mom and Dad’s anniversary came closer, I realized I hadn’t planned ahead for a gift or good wishes and decided to send a telegram – the only way to get a message to them quickly, apart from a phone call. I thought a telegram might make a bit of a splash…. and knew it would get there on time.

In the end, it was a good thing we stayed in Champaign. Our newspaper ad for the Corvette was getting a lively response, and the first young man who came to see and drive it, ended up buying it. Nate stood nearby as this guy and his buddy spent 2 hours inspecting every inch of the car. They even pulled the front end up onto a curb and squeezed themselves beneath it, conversing under there about what they were seeing.

Selling the Corvette

Finally, well after dark, they began negotiating with Nate. He told them multiple parties had called in response to the ad, and by the time he climbed the stairs back to our apartment, he had the cash-in-hand – our full asking price.

Though it was sad to watch our beautiful car pull away with two strangers in its red bucket seats, having made the sale brought us one step closer to a practical replacement vehicle.

As the weekend closed, Mom sat down and wrote us to say thanks for the telegram and to report on their anniversary festivities. At the end of the letter she showed her love for Nate in an unusual way.

HappyShe surmised we were having fun together in Champaign but decided to caution me about overdoing it. She wrote, “Keep in mind, little girl, that Nathan must study. No time for frivolities until the Christmas break.”

Little did she know that he was the one initiating most of those frivolities.

“There is a time to laugh… and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4)

Young Love (#97)

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October 13 – 17, 1969

 

These days I felt like I was living in three different worlds: fiancée, school teacher, and wedding planner. But much like a child, I dealt first with what was immediately in front of me. That meant my students and lesson plans occupied most of my time.

ID cards, usedI was falling in love with my little first graders and looked forward to being with them every day. And as I worked with them, my mind often drifted to the kindergarteners I’d taught in Chicago. They were in first grade now, too, and I hoped they were doing ok.

Nate and I, wanting to have some children in the wedding, sent several letters to 4 of my former students, asking if they would take part in our wedding. We asked Timmy if he’d be the ring bearer, Brittany if she’d be the flower girl, and Kim and Carla if they would pass out groom’s cake to our guests. I also called my Chicago team teaching partner and asked if her two children, Marea and Paul (a little older) would be our candle lighters.

Ring BearerThe yes-es came back quickly, and each child enthusiastically agreed to participate in the wedding. And I was thrilled that I would get to reconnect with at least several of the children I loved so much.

Although I still had doubts about my 1st grade teaching abilities, there was one area of my work in which I had unshakeable confidence.

Teachers in small schools like ours sometimes doubled as gym teachers, and to my delight, our gym had a trampoline. Having taken classes in high school (and even winning a contest), I was eager to show my admiring students how to jump. But as I began demonstrating somersaults, back drops, and flips-with-twists, rather than the admiration I’d expected, I got laughter.  Later I learned they were catching repeated glimpses of their teacher’s panties and didn’t know what to do with that information. (Could I help it if teachers wore only dresses back then?)

From momMom said she was praying for me, that I would do a good job with my students and wrote of her confidence. “Hope you’re getting the victory over that first grade assignment. You’re more than equal to it: yessir, you are! ‘See Spot run! Look! Look! Look!’ ”

Ever the optimist, she filled her letters with praise and good cheer. “Dad just said, out of the blue, ‘Margaret will make it: she has a way with kids.’ And we weren’t even talking about you, darling.” I accepted it all and moved forward accordingly.

My groom was also supportive, always having a cup of coffee and a listening ear waiting when I arrived home from work. He never tired of hearing about my day and began knowing who-was-who among my students. “Did Todd cooperate today? What about Karen? Did she say anything funny?”

I reveled in his rapt attention and was always sad when it came time for him to drive away at night. Standing at our un-curtained 3rd floor window waving until he was out of sight, I couldn’t believe we had 8 long weeks to wait until we were married — an eternity.

“Live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way…. being strengthened…. so that you may have great endurance and patience.” (Colossians 1:10-11)