Category Archives: Marriage

Young Love (#78)

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August 2-7, 1969

 

Registry

Wedding planning kicked into high gear during the first week of August. Nate and I made a quick trip to downtown Chicago to finalize all the choices that would go on our gift registry. A seasoned employee at Marshall Fields helped us narrow things down, and by the end of the morning, she had checked all the appropriate boxes on the bridal registry forms.

 

 

LoveNate and I held hands throughout the process, sneaking a kiss now and then as we envisioned our first “nest” (as he called it) decorated in the vibrant colors we chose: orange, yellow, and kiwi green.

We also spent time perusing used car lots, looking for a practical replacement for our impractical Corvette, but we weren’t quite sure what we were looking for. We would need a loan from Dad to swing any purchase, so we decided to wait till after the Corvette had been sold before approaching him. Since it had a couple of mechanical issues, it might take a while. Besides, we were happy to cross one item off our long list.

Our caterer would be a dear family friend, and Jeanette’s casual attitude helped immensely as she outlined practical suggestions for the “light supper” menu we wanted. In those days, most receptions were held right in the church, so that part was easy. Choosing a giant wedding cake was a little trickier. How do you feed 500 people from one cake? We tabled that decision till later.

Mom at Moody organ.Mom promised to look into music options, since she was the musical one among us. She announced she would be playing either the piano or organ for 6 other autumn weddings and could hunt through sheet music for all of them at once. We wondered how she would keep it all straight but decided not to worry about it… and crossed it off.

Choosing and ordering invitations at a printer didn’t take long. Both Nate and I were traditionalists and decided to mix elegant with tried-&-true. At the last minute we eliminated the response card and its envelope, trying to save Mom and Dad some money. If it upset Mom that she wouldn’t know how many guests would be coming, she never showed it… probably because she had become fully absorbed in redecorating their new home.

Mom was meeting with kitchen consultants, tentatively planning to gut the old kitchen and get it completed before the wedding. She was also shopping for drapes, carpeting, furniture, and paint colors. Her plan was to paint every room herself, labeling it “therapy for when I get too busy.” She wasn’t joking.

Carole and Reggie's weddingNate and I wondered when we’d be able to get back to Champaign to seek my employment and find an apartment, but by the end of that first week in August, we were off to Rockford, Illinois, where I was a bridesmaid for Carole, a close friend from Wheaton.

The wedding rehearsal fell on my birthday, but Mom insisted we have a party anyway. Nate and I did our best to get there quickly but arrived near 10:00 PM… which is when the party began. Little did we know that jam-packed days like these would soon become the norm.

“Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” (Ephesians 4:3)

Young Love (#77)

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As my parents struggled to unpack and squeeze too much stuff into their new home, Nate and I eagerly got back to planning our wedding. By this time we had lists of our lists and were getting lost in the details.

Not wanting to burden Mom further, I wrote my mentor in California, Aunt Joyce, and asked for help organizing our thoughts. Since my 7 bridesmaids lived all over the country and couldn’t shop for gowns together, she helped with the decision to let each girl make her own dress (or have it made). I would provide the material, but they would be in charge of fitting their gowns to their figures.

Cutting velveteenAunt Joyce made color suggestions for our late fall wedding, and we settled on deep burgundy with light pink accents, in velveteen. My good friend Lynn volunteered to help me find the best deal on 80 yards of fabric and was willing to sew three of the seven gowns. Aunt Joyce offered to make two, and we were on our way.

Most of all, though, I really appreciated Aunt Joyce’s encouragement and her promise to pray for us. She wrote, “I’m so excited for you both and am anxious to meet Nate. I hope you find a home or apartment, and a job. Count on my prayers!”

PlanningThose two items, an apartment and a teaching job (for me), were hanging heavy over our heads, though we couldn’t work on either project till we got back to Champaign. Since our stint as camp counselors would begin August 18, we had two weeks to get everything else done. Registry decisions had to be made, along with invitations, music, catering, a cake, rehearsal dinner venue, a honeymoon destination, and much more. I also had to move out of my Chicago apartment in time to let my three roommates find a new fourth.

Nate and I decided the best place to start was at our favorite Chinese restaurant… with pencil and paper to make a fresh list.

Fortune cookie.As we cracked open our fortune cookies at the end of that meal, my slip of paper was encouraging: “Past efforts will soon brings blossoms.” (Yes… brings.) When I got home, I glued it into my scrapbook.

The next morning we discovered that a second attempt had been made to steal my Corvette, and so we added one more item to our list: finding a less popular, more reasonably-priced car.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God.” (James 1:5)

Young Love (#74)

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July 30, 1969

Moving van leavesAfter a moving van had delivered the grand piano, the organ, and all the other large furniture to Mom and Dad’s new house, all of us were emotionally and physically weary.

 

Tired packers

Everybody was looking forward to a good night’s sleep (though I don’t recall where Nate and I actually slept that night), but we decided to wait for Mom and Dad to arrive. When they didn’t come and didn’t come, we began to worry.

Finally, well after midnight, their car pulled into the drive. And when we saw Mom, we knew she had hit a low point. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying – this from a Mom I’d seen cry only twice in my life (once over a niece’s death, and once concerning a church problem).

As soon as they stepped in the door, I held up our “WELCOME HOME” sign, hoping it would cheer her. But it did just the opposite. She burst into tears, throwing her arms around me and saying something like, “God bless you for thinking of your old mother, darling.”

Knowing she was desperate for sleep, we led her into their new bedroom. We had made the bed and turned down the sheets, laying out their fanciest PJs. Candles were burning, music was playing, and we’d put a photo of us 3 kids on the dresser. We were shooting for humor — and as I watched her face, I did see the corners of her mouth turn up a tad, even as tears continued to fall.

Back yardBut poor Dad. His moving decision had been based on logic, as all his decisions were, knowing that empty-nesters didn’t need 5000 square feet of living space. Surely he felt bad watching Mom take it so hard, but having lived with her for 30 years at that point, he knew she would rally. He often said, “Your Ma is an optimist,” and that she was.

Though I had never read Mom’s 1969 journal until I dug it out this week, I was gratified to see what she’d written about that night:

MARGARET RISES TO STAND! BLESS DEAR BABY ANN! [her nickname for me] CARL AND I ARRIVED 1140 [new address] PAST MIDNIGHT, COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED AND EMOTIONIALLY DRAINED. OUR NEW BEDROOM WAS ALL IN ORDER, BEDS MADE WITH GLAMOROUS LINENS, OUR SEXIEST GOWNS LAID OUT, CANDLELIGHT, MUSIC PLAYING, THE CHILDREN’S PICTURE ON THE DRESSER, AND A WELCOME SIGN ON DOOR. Dear, dear Margaret.

After midnight.

I knew when the sun rose, Mom would feel better and would be able to start tackling the wall-to-wall boxes in her living room. What none of us could have guessed, though, was that she had pocketed a front door key to the old house and had already made plans to return there the next day.

Before she could officially say goodbye, she had some unfinished business to tend to.

“May grace and peace be multiplied to you…” (2 Peter 1:2)