Young Love (#37)

Posted on December 10, 2016 by Margaret

Between the end of Nate’s academic year and the beginning of his summer stint with the Army, he had 8 free days. We viewed that as a golden opportunity for more time with my parents, so we arranged for him to stay with them. I would stay there, too, and our hope was that by the end of those days, Mom would finally sanction our decision to marry.

We also hoped both Mom and Dad would surrender their idea of a year-long engagement. We didn’t want to cross them, but 6 months was our maximum wait-time.

The two of us thoroughly enjoyed being together and continued making plans. Nate accompanied me to my kindergartens, and let me “show him off” to faculty friends. After work we shared meals with friends, went to the movies, helped Mom and Dad with household projects, took miles-long walks, and “window shopped” engagement rings.

A special highlight was when Nate’s parents drove 4 hours just to meet my folks and share a day with all of us. Everything went well, we were thankful.

From my journal:

I’m learning so much more about Nate this week. I’m convinced he is someone who will never reject me. He loved me long before I ever loved him, and as a result, my feelings for him have been able to grow at a steady, unhindered pace. With all the candid discussing we’ve done, I think we’ll have a head start on marriage together.

As for Mom, at the end of the week she did something that took me by surprise. Nate had made a big effort to win her approval, watching her closely and offering to help with whatever she was doing. He’d brought her gifts, (something no other boyfriend had done) and had given her a hug each time we’d returned home (also not done by the others).

She began warming to him, and became willing to negotiate for a wedding date. Somewhere between a short engagement (us) and a long one (them), we settled on Thanksgiving weekend. Mom liked the idea of sharing our turkey dinner with relatives who would come for the wedding, and we liked the idea of a brief engagement.

Back to my journal and Mom’s surprise:

Two years earlier, Mom had bought a special gift to present to me when she thought I had found my prince charming. It would be her way of sanctioning my choice. At the end of our 8 days together, she presented me with that gift – a small glass slipper a la Cinderella – telling me she was sure Nate was the one. She also said that it was satisfying for her to be sure that I was sure, too. The glass-slipper-surprise was the watershed moment Nate and I had been hoping for with Mom, and now all 4 parents were on board.

At the end of those 8 days, Nate reluctantly got on a bus headed to Ft. Riley, Kansas, nearly 600 miles away. He became a soldier-in-training for 6 weeks and was owned by the Army. But as we kissed goodbye, I made up my mind I wasn’t going to let all that time pass without us being together.

“Love always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Young Love (#36)

Posted on December 9, 2016 by Margaret

As summer approached, Nate and I began talking about the thrilling changes ahead, especially the when-and-where of our engagement, and a job for me downstate.

After I visited him in Champaign during the teacher strike, he moved out of his dorm, then planned to come north to my parents’ house to spend a week with our family. Though I would have to work, we’d be together every day… and my parents would get to know him better. Nate also had high hopes he’d get to have “the talk” with Dad.

May 25, 1969 – Dear Nate. I took my Sunday school girls on a picnic today, but since it was freezing, we held it in the apartment living room. This group of 10-year-olds can tear up a place in no time! But then there’s you… the most thoughtful, considerate person I’ve ever known, and I thank the Lord every chance I get for letting me know you – and MARRY you! If you could hear all the colossal things I tell my friends about you, you’d hire me as your publicity manager.

May 26, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for your patience, faith, help, and love. And your Christian example. Thank you for your prayers. The Lord’s help will take care of us forever. What a reassuring thought! Last night I turned out the light, got into bed and was half asleep when my hand hit something under the pillow. I flipped on the light and saw your note, reading it as I ate the candy kiss. The note, with its love, thanks, and promise of freedom was the best thing I could have read on a late Sunday night.

May 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. I can’t believe you’re done with school for a while and will be walking through my apartment door soon… for 8 days! I’ve been thinking of all we can do while you’re here: dinners with friends, a faculty party with my fellow-teachers, a Sunday’s-worth of activities, double-dates with other couples, dinner and cards with Mary and Bervin, mid-week prayer meeting, time with my folks, and… ring-shopping!

May 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I am so fortunate to have the love of Meg Johnson. I can’t wait to be with you again! Meanwhile, I continue to pack my clothes and books, and pay bills here. I love you very, very much.

May 30, 1969 – Dear Nate. When you are here for those 8 glorious days, we’ll create enough ultra-pleasant memories to get you all the way through Army camp in good shape. Something sad happened today. I got the official word that little Nancy, the Downs girl in my class, has to transfer out and attend a state placement somewhere else in the fall. It’s so sad. The worst, though, will be getting her mother to accept it. So far she’s refused to admit Nancy has any problems. I have to call her today and set up a conference for her with the principal and me. So hard. If you and I should ever have a Downs child, it would be a big adjustment. I send you all my love, Your Meg

From my journal, the evening before Nate arrived in Chicago:

It’s amazing how much of my previous confusion has ironed out and become ordered thoughts. Nate and I have spent much of the month of May together, and he’s coming to Chicago for 8 gorgeous days before leaving for the Army – for 6 weeks. ALL my reservations are gone, including my nervousness over being able to leave (my old boyfriend) permanently in the past. I haven’t seen him in 2 months, and though I think of him, I no longer miss him in “that way.”

“Love rejoices in the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:6)

Young Love (#35)

Posted on December 8, 2016 by Margaret

As Chicago teachers began their historic strike, I walked the picket line with fellow faculty members but mourned over lost time with my kindergarten children. I loved teaching them and couldn’t wait to see them each day, so as I circled the school, I wondered who was caring for them. Concerning teacher contracts, for all practical purposes I had mentally made the move to downstate Illinois and already saw myself teaching elsewhere.

May 22, 1969 – Dear Nate. The teacher strike has been nothing but verbal whippings and tongue-thrashings all day. I’m sick of hearing everyone screaming without listening to the words of anyone else. I’d quit, but if we do get to go back to work, I’ll need the money. Besides, I’ll need a good recommendation from our principal. Last night Mom and Dad came to my apartment after I got home from my ed class. Mary and Bervin also came, along with Aunt Agnes and Aunt Helen. We had tea and warm rolls at 10:00 and talked till 11:00, but it didn’t work out to tell them about our plans. I did arrange to talk at their house in Wilmette tomorrow evening. I’m nervous, but am anxious to let them know.

May 22, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The head resident has praised my work with my 72 men this last year. He said he would recommend me for one of the head residencies next year, which would be good for us if I got one, since they are paid positions. But there are many others competing for very few slots.

May 23, 1969 – Dear Nate. I finally met privately with Dad and told him all about our intention to get engaged this summer and marry in January… or sooner, if we could work it out, like September. The two of us talked for 4 hours, hashing out the details and getting everything above board. He asked me lots of questions. On the way back to my apartment, I felt like taking the Corvette up over 100 mph, because the bottom line is that Dad approves! He feels we might be rushing to marry in January, but with time, he’ll come around. So, the stage is set for you to talk with Dad or with Mom, too, if you want. I’m filled with joyful expectation!

May 23, 1969 – Dearest Meg. (As you can tell from the typing in this letter, I’m using a vintage typewriter, 1958.) In spite of finals, I’ve tried to write you every day, because I feel so close to you while I write. I think of you all the time and love you very much.

May 23, 1969 – Dear Nate. I love you with all of me! Often I feel I’ll burst if I don’t get to see you soon! I’m so glad I will… (see you soon, not burst). I’m praying for your finals, for the calmness and presence of mind you need.

May 25, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for coming to see me while the teachers continued the strike! Being with you for two days was fabulous! It was depressing when you had to leave. But the picnic at Allerton was great; Meg and barbecued chicken! I’ll see you next week – future wife, glamour girl, future mother, Christian woman – and I’ll have a talk with your father. It’s important that I talk to him first, before your mother.