Category Archives: Marriage

Newlywed Love (#123)

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November 28, 1970

Study hardNate’s final exam week was beginning to weigh on him, even though it wouldn’t arrive till January. His books had been closed since the day before Thanksgiving, though, and now it was Saturday. “I’ll need to spend a few hours studying before we can shop for a Christmas tree.” He said. “Is that OK with you?”

He’d been completely available for two days, so of course it was. Our official anniversary wasn’t till the next day anyway, Sunday the 29th.

“If I study hard today,” he said, “tomorrow will be reserved for celebrating.”

It was difficult to leave him alone as he worked so close to me, but I still had lots of Christmas gift-making to keep me busy. I was hoping to make holiday aprons for several of our aunties, so I pulled out the sewing machine and got to work.

Tree on the VWTwo waist-tie aprons were nearly finished by the time Nate finally lifted his head from his books and said he was ready for a break. “Let’s go get our tree!” he said.

We settled on a 7-foot bargain from Kmart — $4.00. While we were there we chose matching angel ornaments, our picks in the 2nd annual choosing of ornaments that would happen each year. We also bought one box of all-red balls along with red tree lights.

Carrying the tree

Once we got the tree set up, we reached for the shoebox that had been stored on the high closet shelf for a year, remembering the two ornaments we’d chosen on our first Christmas together. When we opened the box, however, we were disappointed. Though Nate’s ornament looked brand new, mine was shattered in a million pieces.

 

 

My ornamentOnly the gold star from the middle was still intact. It was a sad lesson about choosing decorations wisely, but we hung the little star by itself — as a reminder. Thankfully the angel ornaments we’d chosen this year were non-breakable. And it crossed my mind that someday pudgy little child-fingers might be helping us hang these same ornaments. So non-breakable would always be best.

In Santa hat.When the tree was up and decorated, we spread out blankets and pillows on the floor beneath it — and stretched out to enjoy the red glow that filled the room with warmth.

I told Nate, “I’m so glad we had to live away from both of our families during our newlywed year. We missed them, but I think being by ourselves has helped us grow really close to each other.”

He agreed, and then we got “really close” once again… there in the light of our Christmas tree.

“A man shall leave his father and mother and be united with his wife.” (Mark 10:7)

Newlywed Love (#122)

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November 27, 1970

Journal about breakfastAfter a happy Thanks- giving Day, Nate and I started our 1st anniversary celebration-weekend with a bang – by sleeping until 12:30. Then together we made a big breakfast and set the table with silver, crystal, and our wedding china. With candles burning, we sat opposite each other in the center of the fully-extended table (which we’d needed for Thanksgiving) and talked about our marriage.

It was fun reminiscing about our wedding day. We laughed hard remembering our wild get-away from the church with John at the wheel, Nate changing out of his tux in a ladies room, and our mad dash into O’Hare airport – and out again.

Holding hands.We recounted each of the four days we had at the Drake Hotel as honeymooners and then went through the year recalling highlights. As we held hands across the breakfast table, Nate prayed a beautiful prayer of gratitude for all that had happened during this first year, and dedicated our marriage to God for the duration.

After doing the dishes, we got dressed up fancy and headed to Lincoln Square, the local mall, to look at Christmas decorations and buy each other an anniversary gift.

Cookie jarAlthough we’d received anniversary checks from both sets of parents and also Bervin and Mary, generally our finances were still tight. So we settled on a low-budget gift that would benefit both of us: a cookie jar in the shape of a big orange. I promised to fill it later with Nate’s favorite – frosted sugar cookies.

(This was our second cookie jar, but we were using the first one for candy.)

Although our actual anniversary wouldn’t come till Sunday, we splurged with dinner out (pizza) and a movie, figuring it would be appropriate to spend some of our gift-money on celebrating.

Back at home we made a fire and talked about what kind of Christmas tree we’d get the next day – shopping for it together. We talked about the previous year when Nate had surprised me with a tree (below), and I had burst into tears.

First treeAt the time I couldn’t believe he’d “cut me out” of that family tradition, and he couldn’t believe I hadn’t appreciated what he’d done for me.

As we remembered back to our first clash, we were thankful to have reached our 1st anniversary without too many more of those painful misunderstandings.

The day ended amorously — in each other’s arms, feeling warm, secure, and very happy.

“There is a time… for peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:8)

Newlywed Love (#121)

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November 25-26, 1970 – Thanksgiving Eve and Day

Nate and I finally figured out where we would sleep my parents, brother, and three aunties on the night before Thanksgiving. Agnes and Ruth would go in our bedroom, having hoped for a closed door. Helen would be comfortable on the living room couch.

TommyMom and Dad would cuddle up on the pull-down Murphy bed, and Tom would have the dining room floor.

Nate and I would be on the living room floor in front of the fireplace – a sleeping spot not unfamiliar to us. And the whole night promised to be unique!

After our cake and coffee at about 10:00 PM Wednesday evening, we took turns in the bathroom and then said our good-nights. Mom was so into the adventure of it all she couldn’t settle down, cracking jokes about her sleeping spot with Dad in the swoopy Murphy bed.

“Don’t look at what’s going on in this bed,” she said. “It’s x-rated.” Of course she was joking, and I could hear Dad trying to shush her so he could drift off to sleep.

Dad carvesSomehow we made it through the night and a nourishing scrambled egg breakfast before Mary, Bervin, little Luke, and doggie Russell arrived. Then Mom lent me her cooking expertise, and when everything was finally ready, Dad did the carving… on the sink drain board. Despite having prepared the meal in a kitchen with only 18 inches of counter-space, our late afternoon Thanksgiving feast was a success.

After washing all the dishes assembly-line style, we “youngsters” played games on the floor while the “oldsters” nodded off.

Aunt Agnes snoozesDad snoozes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was peaceful… and perfect. And I was proud of Nate for setting aside his books completely throughout the day. They were on his mind, to be sure, pressing hard, but he never mentioned them.

Family photoMom wanted to take a family photo announcing their first grandchild in a Christmas card, so we assembled in front of the window. Our Danville friend Rick took the picture.

A family of five had begun to grow, and now we were eight. Mom wondered aloud how many might join the ranks in future years. “The more the merrier,” she said, meaning it with all her heart.

Around 10:00 PM our guests began getting their coats, which we’d known ahead of time had to happen. Even the Chicago group was committed back home the next morning.

Saying goodbyeNate and I stood at our apartment door waving them down the stairs, one group at a time, deeply thankful that the whole family had been together. Our time had been short — but memorable.

And with our parting words, we promised to host a Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family every year from that day forward – no matter how big we grew.

“Giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me.” (Psalm 50:23)