Category Archives: Obedience

Nelson’s journal 2/17/22

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Nelson and Ann Sophie first met while staffing a crowd of people in a Youth With A Mission ministry called Kokua Crew. This group, sometimes as many as 100, was made up of young people from all over the world. They came to Hawaii to serve as workers on the main YWAM campus in Kona.

Nelson and Ann Sophie were in charge of this group, giving them work assignments such as kitchen crew, daycare helpers, post office workers, coffee shop baristas, grounds keepers, library assistants, school aids, and anything else where help was needed.

In exchange for 40 work hours each week, these volunteers were able to live in beautiful Hawaii without cost, receiving three square meals each day, dorm-like housing, and free time on the weekends when they could do anything they wanted.

In today’s journal entry, Nelson is working out multiple problems connected to staying indefinitely in Hawaii, having been there for many years (especially Nelson), now that a baby was coming. How would this work?

The two of them were on call 24/7, overseeing the activities and whereabouts of all these young people while challenging them spiritually. Some of them preferred to break rules and do their own thing, requiring above-and-beyond attention from Nelson and Ann Sophie.

Every day the challenges were daunting and often exhausting, but the main campus counted on Nelson and his staff to see to it that each Kokua Crew member showed up daily to do the work they’d promised to do.

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February 17, 2022

I’m writing a bit this morning to process and pray about Kokua Crew and the future of it. What should we do about it?

There are lots of options, but it seems the writing is on the wall when YWAM is starting to charge them to participate… and quite a bit, according to some of the feedback we’re getting from those attending/starting in March.

Lord, what would you have the campus do? Stop Kokua Crew? Should we just make it no different from staff? It’s been super popular and getting more so all the time… then covid hit and we went back down. Now the numbers are back up and we have this immigration thing. Is it something to fight through or something to listen to? Are you saying something else?

Is Kokua Crew condoning the entitlement mentality that is so prevalent at this campus? What would YWAM Kona be like if we didn’t have Kokua Crew? Maybe that would be a way forward, like birthing pains into something harder but healthier.

I’m thankful for early mornings, Lord. For my girl sleeping in the next room, for our healthy baby boy growing inside her and how faithful you are to show your love for us in tangible ways that matter to us. Thank you for blowing away false ideas about you. Thank you for the work I have with Tim the electrician, the education it is, and the paycheck at the end of the time.

Thank you for the financial provision and the dream to build our own house all legal and up to spec. I never thought I would be able to do anything like that, just rehab an old one.

I pray for your leading today, for the appointment with Dr. Sira (OB doctor), and for the ability to stand up for what we believe is right with regard to the Kokua Crew and the medical care for our baby. I pray for peace, but where there is none, not to have that influence or divert us from the right thing. Amen.

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“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you.” (Isaiah 48:17)

Nelson’s Journal, 2/3/22

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Nelson has no idea that by the end of this month, he will begin feeling poorly in several ways. His symptoms are mysterious and unwelcome, and they don’t even hint at the disastrous diagnosis they will ultimately reveal.

Heavily on his mind at the beginning of February is whether or not he and Ann Sophie should schedule a break from the day and night pace of working with YWAM while pastoring a church. Soon they would become parents, and Nelson planned to be very much involved in parenting the little boy God was preparing to them.

Repeatedly in his journal he has asked what God thinks about making a big shift. Logic tells him that with the baby coming soon, there’s no time like the present to tackle the decision. The problem was all the questions that came to mind when he tried to puzzle it out. Should they give up one of their commitments? And if so, which one(s)? And when? And if they left, where would they go? To do what?

Nelson senses big changes coming but has no idea how extensive they’ll be. He is also unaware that in the end, he won’t have to decide anything, because God Himself is going to step in and do it for him.

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February 3, 2022

Early morning, still dark at our place at Hale Ola. Annso in the next room, pregnant as all get-out.

We’re packed up for the termite tenting today [all food double bagged, right], but first a beach staff meeting. Should be better than usual, with just 4 of us today.

Seems that whoever we have on staff over the years, people really need these meetings to unload and get stuff off their chest, though sometimes it lands on us. That can be really stressful, but it’s part of the job.

I am looking forward to a break from YWAM but not sure what exactly it will play out like. It’s the 3rd day of February, 2022. The date seems unreal. The 1990’s seems like ancient times. Actually, time is going so fast, 2019 seems like the old days but it was just 3 years ago.

Lord, I’m thankful for all of it. Thank you for the uncertainty and the certainty, although there is much more in the first category. Thank you for the joy you brought through Annso and the prophecy from Mom years ago to that effect. You are so nice to me, and I deserve none of it, especially not her. We have our little challenges here and there, but mostly, we get along so well.

I pray for the wisdom on how to do our taxes. Seems I vacillate between being overly honest to the point where we hurt ourselves and don’t need to, and just not reporting things we probably should. You have been so kind to me after all my trouble with the IRS in the past. We have no debt, no financial trouble at all, and you have given us all sorts of income streams. Being in Hawaii, it’s easy to rent things out [scooters, cars], and that helps.

I pray you would guide us in this transition, possibly into living off campus and not running the Kokua Crew anymore. It’s not our ministry anyway. It’s yours.

I pray for our little guy who is about to come into the world and that the delivery would be quick and easy for Annso. I’m sure millions of people pray for things to be easy, and maybe what’s the point, but I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least ask. You have been so nice to us and for us, that it seems the beginning of stuff is the hard part—like when we were dating and spending all that time apart being the worse part, and the marriage itself being the easiest. I pray the same thing for our little baby.

We had such a hard time getting pregnant, and if it follows the same trend, you would make the delivery easy. Why not? At least I can ask.

I pray for my meeting with Jimmy today about church and the time we have left in his internship. We’ve hit an all-time low in attendance. I have felt we should quit pastoring for some time now, and maybe the writing has been on the wall much too long. Same thing for Kokua Crew. We had a good run at it, but I don’t want to stay with it until maybe someone asks us to leave.

Please give us the wisdom to know what to quit and when to quit, if anything. You know what’s coming and have put us in the right positions at the right time. You also know the boundaries we should set, both with work and with personal relationships. Just let us know what to do.

I pray for a kingdom mindset with taxes, faith, possessions, status, location, what we do with our time, everything. Thank you for our invitation to spend a little time up north at Steve’s place for a day and a night away. I know it will help us.

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“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.“ (Proverbs 16:9)

Nelson’s Journal, Entry #5

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On this day one year ago, Nelson already had lung cancer but didn’t know it. He was happy, living in Kona, Hawaii, while working hard with Youth With A Mission and tending to his pastoring responsibilities. After a past that had included some dark periods, he was counting his blessings.

We know, looking back, that his darkest days were just around the corner. But a year ago, he was facing forward, with joy.

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January 23, 2022

Sunday night.

Jimmy preached. Annso and I took a van with six passengers. Good service. I led the prayer time.

You can live somewhere thinking you’ll leave any time, for whatever reason, then 20 years go by. That’s what this place feels like. I can’t believe Annso is even here with me. The fact that she walked away from her career to come and be with me still seems like a dream, but it’s real.

I don’t journal much because journaling is about reflecting and writing thoughts down, and this season is more about blowing and going and, to be honest, I’d rather me do that than sit around reflecting on everything all the time. I’ve spent more than my share of time doing that, especially since sobriety started in 2006. Hard to believe it’s been almost 16 years since I’ve been a drinker. Just amazing.

Tanner and I talked about the rapture tonight, and I don’t really even like to talk about that stuff. It’s all speculation anyway, and I feel like dying and being raptured are the same. We should always be prepared for either/or.

I swam a mile today, as I do a few times a week. Nothing like a blowout where you really feel tired at the end of it. No energy to worry or stress about anything.

I came back and worked on my Dodge truck. I am happy for this season. I don’t know how it could get much better, and part of me doesn’t want it to change. But still, I want to be led by God.

Lord, I pray you would lead us and help us to be in the right place at the right time with our little guy. Thank you for the bond we have together and how well we get along.

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“He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.” (Psalm 107:9)