Category Archives: Obedience

Releasing or Resisting?

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Those of us who love being parents often have trouble letting go of our children when the time comes. Whether that’s sending them off to kindergarten, college, or marriage, the goodbyes always include a twinge of sadness (and sometimes a deluge of tears). As we practice at parting ways, though, we get better at it. Goodbyes may never be completely painless, but they can become less difficult.

Where we run into trouble is when we cling too tightly. As James Dobson often said, a parent’s most important task is to work themselves out of a job. Though we’ll always be the mom or dad, active parenting ought always to be on the decrease. If we refuse to release them, everything goes haywire.

Aunt JoyceI well remember my mentor, Aunt Joyce, going through this process when her daughter and son-in-law, along with two of her grandchildren, left for a distant mission field. My aunt told me how she wrestled with the Lord over his plan to “take them away” like that. Though she had released her daughter at the appropriate times along the way, this additional letting go seemed too much.

She described how the Lord worked with her to give her a new perspective. And when she came out the other side, she understood that letting go of her daughter and family meant she was participating in the Great Commission. By releasing rather than resisting, she was indirectly helping to spread the Gospel to the nations.

After that, though the goodbyes continued to be emotional, her changed perspective helped her. Lovingly letting go was the work God gave her to do, and by accepting the assignment, she got to participate in missions, too.

As I was raising 7 children, I never dreamed how many goodbyes there would be. The most difficult ones have been those involving thousands of miles and months of time. But in almost every case, those have been in the realm of missions, and remembering my mentor’s words has strengthened me to the task.

Tomorrow I’ll say goodbye to my firstborn once again as he heads for his next assignment with Youth with a Mission. This time his destination is 7342 miles from home, literally on the other side of the globe. When it’s noon for me, it will be midnight for him.

M and NThough I won’t see him for several months, my job as his mother is the same as my aunt’s was: to release him with my enthusiastic blessing. God has one purpose in it for him and a different one for me. And both of us want to take advantage of what those are.

 

“Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!” (Psalm 96:3)

Left and Right

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This morning in church, just as the service started, a snowstorm started, too. Because the temperature was above freezing, it didn’t “stick,” but it was very pretty. I noticed something funny, though.

WestNorthOut the western windows snowflakes were gently falling straight down. Out the north they were whipping sideways. I figured it was the shape of the building com- bined with wind currents.

It reminded me of a visit we made to Hawaii 27 years ago. The “wild island” of Kauai had beautiful beaches and rolling waves, but no one was swimming. That’s because skies were forever full of threatening black clouds and winds were fierce.

But then I learned the truth. While catching up on laundry at a public laundromat, I was grousing about the bad weather when another mom shared something interesting. “You know, don’t you, that on the other side of the island it’s always sunny?”

She explained how something called “localized weather phenomena” caused radically different weather systems on different sides of the island, sometimes to the extreme. We were on the south end, and if we drove a few miles toward the west, she said, we’d be on “the warm sunny side.”

These two weather stories reminded me of a biblical Proverb that says we shouldn’t let our left hand know what our right is doing. The instruction refers to our giving. God says we should do it in secret, telling us that he sees all anonymous giving and will reward us accordingly.

Anonymous giving isn’t all that common these days, though I suppose if it’s truly anonymous, who would know? Maybe the Bible’s point is that giving in secret comes with a couple of perks: it’s a type of hard-won victory to accomplish it without anyone knowing, and even better than that, God himself will be the One to reward us.

Left and rightOf course we can’t really give in such a way that our left hand isn’t aware of what our right hand is doing, since both are connected to the same brain. But then again, watching the same snowstorm behave independently west and north, and the same island vary significantly south and west makes me want to try.

“When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” (Matthew 6:3-4)

Praising and Praying with Mary

A praise report on grandson Anders, doing well at home and now up to 5 pounds 11 ounces!

Dee

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When our firstborn, Nelson, was still a toddler, we decided to buy him his first pet, the same pet most young parents often start with: a goldfish. Except for sea monkeys, nothing could be easier.

Every time little Nelson pushed a chair up to the kitchen counter to see his fish, he’d study the water-filled tank and say, “Dee-dee!” (his word for “drink”). And that’s how Dee got his name.

SANY0053As most new parents do, we considered our young offspring to be especially bright, so we carefully showed him how to shake the fish food into the water, just two quick shakes each day. Nelson  seemed to understand, following through exactly as I’d told him.

Then one day I came into the kitchen and found him kneeling on the counter, enthusiastically shaking Comet cleanser into Dee’s tank. He looked at me without the slightest bit of guilt, proud of himself for doing what I’d taught him. “Dee eat!” he said with a smile, although Dee was invisible in the cloudy green water.

CometDee’s short life came to a quick conclusion after that. Despite an immediate cleaning of the tank, within hours he was belly-up. Nelson had no trouble summing up the situation: “Dee ni-night.”

I’m sure there are times when God instructs me much the same as I instructed Nelson, hoping I’ll listen carefully and diligently follow through. Just as Dee suffered as a result of Nelson’s mistake, I often suffer from my own mistakes… or from plain old disobedience.

Sometimes God’s instructions seem too difficult (or unpleasant) to follow, so I flat-out disregard them and do what seems right to me, even if it’s the opposite of what God said. Such foolishness always results in disaster, maybe immediately, maybe later.

Goldfish.There is one big difference between my instructions to Nelson and God’s instructions to me. Our toddler wasn’t really capable of understanding the feeding ritual for a fish, so Dee’s demise was probably my fault. But God’s instructions are always rightly-matched to my ability to follow through.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you.” (Psalm 32:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m thankful that little Anders had a successful first 24 hours at home.
  2. Vacationing in Florida this week has been delightful and nourishing.
  3. My heart is aching tonight for good friends who just learned their 50-something husband and father has “cancer everywhere.”