Category Archives: Obedience

The Choice

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PackageYou blog readers and many others have gifted Mary with everything from daily prayers to letters, greeting cards, flowers, books, cozy clothing items, two prayer shawls, health foods, and more. She’s made use of everything, gratefully wrapping herself in the blessings you’ve shared.

Recently we were talking about all this bounty and she told me (with exclamation points in her voice) how astounded she’s been at the way each gift has been perfectly matched to her need-of-the-moment. “Of course it’s God putting these things together like that,” she said, “but he’s using the generosity of friends to do it. It just amazes me.”

But I think Mary has something to do with it, too. Even in her debilitated condition, now with nausea plaguing her on top of fatigue, she’s making a conscious choice every day to embrace what people send. She could have chosen the opposite approach, thinking, “I don’t deserve these gifts. I’m just going to set them aside. Besides, I can’t read all the books, can’t absorb all the messages.”

Instead she has received each one eagerly, knowing it’s the Lord who’s behind the perfectly-timed arrival of every item. And she doesn’t want to miss anything he’s trying to say to her, through these gifts.

Jesus TodayAs we talked further, Mary gave me an example: “Somebody sent me Sarah Young’s new book, Jesus Today,” she said. During a discouraging moment I opened it to entry #9 and found God’s exact instruction of what I needed to do to lift my mood. Writing from a first-person point of view as if she was Jesus talking, Sarah wrote, ‘As you go through this day, you will encounter things that make you cringe, things that are wrong or ugly. […like cancer] Do not let them become your focus’.”

Mary went on to tell me how the devotional challenged her to “look the right way,” which is to look at Jesus. Ms. Young wrote, “You yearn for perfection, and I [Jesus] am the fulfillment of that deep longing. I am able to stay close to you as you walk through this sin-stained world. So look the right way – toward blessings, toward Me – and the Joy of My Presence will shine upon you.”

Mary marveled at God’s well timed delivery of personal encouragement that day, as he’s done over and over with the gifts she’s received. But when she said, “I want to choose to do that, to ‘look the right way’,” I had to smile. I’d say she’s been doing pretty well at that already.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for sisters in “Club Chemo” who have come alongside with tips and encouragement 
  2. Praise that today was a day with minimal nausea; please pray that this will continue
  3. Pray for the strength to get through the 4 busy days ahead

Determined

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Keeping company with a toddler is a special delight. Just watching what he or she is doing is entertainment that never gets boring.

photo(6)Today the thermometer reached 86 degrees here in southwest Michigan, and we took advantage by spending lots of time outdoors. When I turned on the hose for Emerald, she became highly animated, even though it was just a trickle. “Wa-wa!” she shouted, using one of her new words. “Wa-wa! Wa-wa!”

I handed her a couple of buckets, a shovel, and a few rubber duckies, and she was off on a happy adventure. Pulling up a beach chair, I watched her play, a witness to her new discoveries with a hose and its wa-wa.

photo(9)Every so often joy would bubble up out of her and she’d start again: “Wa-wa! Wa-wa!” The simple pleasure of wetting the driveway and filling containers kept her busy for half an hour, a record for one-project-focus. Each time the hose inadvertently doused her, she would gasp with the cold but then continue on with her work, undaunted.

Emerald’s determination reminded me of my sister Mary’s. The lady isn’t having nearly as much fun as the baby, but she’s every bit as determined to stick with her project. Today she endured her first-ever chemotherapy. Not knowing what to expect, she and Bervin arrived early to be sure there was time for the blood draw, the hour needed for the results, the anti-nausea medicine, the half-hour needed for it to work, the process of establishing the IV line, and the 30 minute infusion itself.

They needn’t have worried. The waiting room was jammed, and the two hour process took an excruciating 6 hours. It was wait, wait, wait.

Determination is tested in circumstances like that. Though Mary said she wasn’t nervous about the actual infusion, she confessed to moments of doubt and fear during the wait. “Maybe chemo wasn’t the right choice. Maybe it won’t make that much difference. Look at this waiting room full of broken people, all of whom are suffering the torturous effects of chemo. Am I really becoming one of them?”

She said her tears took her by surprise, but maybe it was just the torture of having to wait so long to do something she didn’t really want to do.

???????????????????????????????Eventually her turn came, and her determination was kept strong by a quote she remembered from Erwin Lutzer describing what to do when feeling overwhelmed. “Glance at the lion, but gaze at the Lamb.” His reference was to Satan’s practice of pouncing on us to devour (as the lion), while Jesus (the Lamb) rescues, to set us free.

Mary determined to give only a quick glance at chemo while gazing at God as her Sustainer from the beginning.“There are still question marks over my future,” she said, “but I left the hospital thinking, ‘One down. Seventeen to go.’ And I’m determined to make it.”

“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report…. think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for no side effects yet. Pray against nausea.
  2. Pray for hemoglobin count to stay in normal range so transfusions aren’t necessary
  3. Praise for Bervin’s determination to partner with his wife

Just say it.

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Sleepytime IsaacToday Linnea, baby Isaac, and I drove the 90 minutes from SW Michigan to Chicago’s Midway Airport. Sadly, it was time to see them off after a visit that went by way too fast and was far too short. But 3 excited children were waiting in Florida after 5 days that seemed far too long without their mommy and little brother, not to mention one eagerly waiting husband.

Helping Linnea into the airport with her baby, luggage, carry-on, and stroller, I was glad we could enjoy a few extra minutes together in line for a boarding pass. Suddenly a woman walked up to me from the side, touched my arm and said, “That color blue looks really good on you!”

The color blue.I looked at her, a traveler pulling her carry-on bag, wanting to do nothing more than uplift me. She smiled when I thanked her, and as she and her bag rolled away, she nodded as if to say, “Really… I mean it.”

Looking at Linnea with raised eyebrows I said, “Wow. That was really nice!”

I’m ashamed to say I probably wouldn’t have done the same for a stranger in similar circumstances, not wanting “to intrude” or make a person “feel uncomfortable.” But the woman’s compliment felt good, certainly not intrusive or uncomfortable.

I’ve often chided myself for thinking positive thoughts about someone but failing to get them out of my mouth. Pastor George Sweeting used to say, “Never suppress a generous impulse,” but passing up an opportunity to speak approving words is exactly that.

When Nate was struggling with his cancer, it slowly dawned on us he wasn’t going to live through it. As soon as we figured that out, we could effortlessly voice words of admiration and love, messages that probably wouldn’t have come out so readily or powerfully, had we both been healthy.

Modeling.Now I see the same thing happening with Mary and those of us who are “satellite-ing” around her in her cancer fight. This can be counted as something positive emerging from all the negatives.

It’s also a strong nudge to get us delivering words of praise to others, whether healthy or sick, whenever we think them. Our words carry great power and can accomplish some really good things, not just in others but in us, too. Maybe that’s one of the reasons God instructs us to adore and praise him with words.

It’s been 12 hours since the airport lady spoke to me, but I’m still thinking about it. And if given a choice, the next time I go shopping for clothes, I’ll be scanning the racks for blue.

“Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary:

  1. Pray for tomorrow’s meeting with the 3rd hospital about chemo, and for sensitivity to the Spirit’s leading in the decision
  2. Praise for praying people who are still at it!
  3. Praise for 2 months worth of cards, notes, and packages arriving daily (“The milk of human kindness is flowing!”)