Longing to Belong

When I was 3, my family moved from a close-knit Chicago neighborhood to “the country.” Today that “country” is just one of many Chicago area suburbs (Wilmette), but in 1948 it was still the wide open spaces.

Highcrest SchoolI wasn’t of school age yet, but my sister Mary was marched off to kindergarten at the small-ish country school a stone’s throw from our house. She was quiet and shy, not especially happy about being away from home, but Mom quickly became involved as the official Room Mother of her class, which helped. Mom was in and out of school on a regular basis (with me in tow), and I thought school was absolutely magical.

The kindergarten room fascinated me with its boxes of fat colored crayons, giant jars of sweet-smelling white paste, and wooden chairs that were just my size. Each student had use of a tiny square of carpet to sit on, and by secretly investigating the white chalk (crunch), I learned it was delicious.

Not ready for schoolWhen I pleaded with Mom to let me be a school-kid too, she always had the same frustrating answer. “When you’re ready.”

A year passed, and the next fall Mary went into 1st grade, but Mom still wouldn’t let me go. I thought I was more than ready, and since we lived just across a field from the school, it wasn’t long before I snuck over there on my own.

When I got to the kindergarten room, Mary’s former teacher recognized me and kindly asked if I wanted to sit on one of the carpet squares with the other children “before I went back home.” My dream had come true, though it was short-lived. In just a few minutes Mom was at the door.

All of us long to belong: to a classroom, a club, a family, a neighborhood, or any number of other groups. This longing is, I believe, put into us by God, since he values community and is an advocate of togetherness. So there’s nothing wrong with it.

At 3But longing to belong has its risks, too. It’s important to seek entrance into the right groups at the right time, letting God be the one to show us the which, the where, and especially the when. That includes everything from starting kindergarten to moving into a retirement home. It’s best if we wait till he has us ready.

There were many reasons why I couldn’t be a kindergartener at the age of 3, but eventually my time did come, and it happened just as Mom said: when I was ready.

Kindergarten(Front row, 4th from right)

Life will go much smoother if we wait for God’s readiness rather than push ahead of him on our own. It should always be his call, and in the mean time we should simply say, “I’m ready, Lord…. whenever you are.”

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” (Matthew 6:33  The Message)

Character Counts

Last Friday the 91 year old mother of a friend died quietly after living a much-admired life, and her funeral tomorrow is sure to be a long one. That’s how it goes after a life has been well lived.

Elizabeth SchambachElizabeth Schambach worked hard this side of eternity, beginning by growing up amidst 13 siblings. After marrying at 19, she and her husband bought a farm in America’s heartland and raised 6 children of their own. Working for her family and on the farm through her 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s wasn’t easy, but she labored faithfully at the tasks given her, even after losing her husband at 58.

John’s early death hadn’t been part of the plan, and she was a widow  nearly as many years as she’d been a wife (39 married, 33 a widow). But God never stopped blessing this lady and made sure she wasn’t lonely. He enriched her life with 6 children-in-law, 23 grandchildren, 51 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great-grandchild!

Hands.And that wasn’t all. God had a gentle plan for Elizabeth’s exit from this world last week. She’d eaten dinner at the care facility where she lived and then had attended a festive hymn sing. Being a lover of music, she’d clapped her hands to the beat of the old songs she loved so much, and went off to bed that night with music in her heart.

But 90 minutes after Elizabeth had drifted to sleep, she was woken by the surprise of her life when she arrived into the presence of Jesus Christ himself! My guess is she picked up right where she’d left off at the hymn sing, clapping her hands and singing with joy!

Although Elizabeth Schambach had enough family members to fill a town hall, she’d never been a famous woman. She hadn’t run for political office, had never been on the cover of a magazine, didn’t compete in the Olympics, and wasn’t able to amass a fortune. But she did something far superior to any of that. She won God’s approval.

And she did it by living the life he intended her to live, in the not-so-easy circumstances in which he placed her, a life of impeccable character and satisfied contentment.

Interestingly, that’s what he’s looking for in all of us, because character counts big-time with God.

God's instruction bookLike Elizabeth, a person of honorable character won’t be swayed by popular opinion and won’t put stock in the latest fads. She won’t long for fortune or fame. Instead she’ll base her behavior on God’s instruction manual without trying to edit out the distasteful parts. And when the right decisions always end up being the hardest ones, she’ll make them anyway.

If Elizabeth was here, she could probably attest to all of that. But she might also want to add a line from an old hymn: “It will be worth it all, when I see Jesus.”

And now….  it is.

“A wife of noble character …. is worth far more than rubies. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:10)

Face to Face

Yesterday Birgitta and Emerald shared some giggle-time watching YouTube videos of laughing babies. Emerald responded with delight, as if each face was part of her inner circle of friends.

I see you!What is it about a picture of a baby that delights another baby? Even when she looks at herself in a mirror and smiles, she might not know it’s her, but she knows it’s another baby-face and laughs in response.

Not so with adult faces. Most little ones stare with skepticism at pictures of adults unless they know them personally. In some mysterious way a baby knows that another baby is “somebody like me.”

After reading the Bible, I’ve gotten the impression God looks at people much the same way, smiling at us with pleasure. Scripture says, “He delights in his people.” (Psalm 149:4) This is illogical and mysterious, since he’s perfect and we’re far from it. So why does he delight in us?

Could it be because he made us “in his image?” In what sense, though, are we the image of him? The only thing I can think of is that he and we are all eternal. Or maybe he enjoys us just because he made us. Even in our human world, when we make something we get attached to it, whether it’s a story we’ve written, a picture we’ve painted, or a room we’ve designed.

Despite those possibilities of why God takes pleasure in us, the most probable reason is that we’ve made the righteous choice to choose him, enjoying him personally, directly, one-on-one. When I think of him delighting in us because we’re delighting in him, it begins to make sense.

Still, there are verses that step outside of us focusing on him, passages that flat-out say how much he enjoys us. For example, Psalm 18:19: “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” And another one: “The Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.” (Psalm 149:4)

Even in these, though, we see how “rescuing us” and “crowning us” has been accomplished only through his Son. So he can delight in us because he delights first in Jesus and then sees us through the lens of that perfection.

But if we want to work on being more Jesus-like ourselves, he tells us how:

  • take time to read and study the Bible (Psalm 112:1)
  • do our best to obey his commands (Psalm 119:47)
  • fear him and put our hope in his love (Psalm 147:11)
  • speak words of praise to and about him (Psalm 70:4)
  • daily listen for his wisdom (Proverbs 8:34)
  • strive to live blamelessly (Proverbs 11:20)
  • recognize that only he can save us (Isaiah 61:10)

And then, just as Emerald smiles when she sees another baby, God will smile on us.

“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.” (Psalm 37:23)