Category Archives: Obedience

What should a mentor ask for?

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Friday’s blog post quoted what a good mentor might say through letters my Aunt Joyce had sent to me. Your response was delightfully enthusiastic, and over the weekend something lovely happened when I met up with her children at a wedding in Washington State. These California cousins handed me a green leather book with Aunt Joyce’s name embossed on the front. “You’ll enjoy looking at this,” they said.

At first I didn’t recognize the book with its pretty gold edges, but inside I saw it was from me, inscribed to Aunt Joyce for her 88th birthday. It was a devotional journal, and after each day’s entry, there was space for her written reflections. Aunt Joyce had written down her thoughts and prayers, giving me a glimpse of how a good mentor talks to God.

During the 4 hour plane ride home tonight, I immersed myself in what she wrote and was impacted by her honesty before her Lord, wondering if you readers might be impacted, too. Below are quotes from this journal, plucked with care so as not to reveal her secrets but to show all of us how a godly woman sees herself in relation to God:

  • Oh God, my trust is in you. I ask for deliverance from my feelings.
  • Lord, order my conduct, and take my burdens.
  • Remove my fear and anxiety. You said you would. I depend on that. Keep my mind stayed on Thee.
  • Rejoice exceedingly, Joyce!
  • God, if it’s not too late, I commit my cause to you. Help me do your way and will.
  • “…that you may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Wow! Me?
  • Lord, keep my attention on your side, not mine.
  • Lord, I need to be motivated by your love. I ask this by your Spirit. Thank you, right now.
  • Lord, open my eyes to see my enemy, which equals my captivity. Give me your equipment for fighting against captivity to sin. I want to conquer sin in my thoughts, attitudes, and actions.
  • I feel like I’m going through your refiner’s fire to purify my wickedness. I’ve had anger, stress, and frustration when I should have had hope!
  • Thank you for my Edward [husband of 62 years then]. I did not have sense enough myself to choose such quality.
  • God’s grace is like a sandwich. The top of the bun is what I deserve from Him. The filling is God’s grace. The bottom is what I receive from Him… life eternal.
  • I thank God for blessing received with no sorrow added.
  • I need someone greater, wiser, stronger and more powerful than I am. In Him I have everything.
  • Often God’s way up is down, but He’s there with us, too.
  • I became a new being today, started all over – forgiven, cleansed, powered by Him through the Holy Spirit. Praise to the Almighty, over and over! I’m so grateful.
  • To know Him is to love Him. I love you, Lord, and want to know you more.
  • I’m starting to understand what grace is, and what my comfort can be.
  • Stress and suffering shows me so clearly how very much I need Him, how hopeless and helpless I am without Him. I surrender all, dear Jesus, to you.

One of Aunt Joyce’s favorite verses, written out in her journal, is: “The Lord will perfect what concerns me.” (Psalm 138:8)

Life Wisdom

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Mentoring programs are big nowadays, but they’ve existed since ancient times. Elijah mentored Elisha. Moses mentored Joshua. Naomi mentored Ruth. Paul mentored Timothy. And of course Jesus mentored his 12 disciples.

I’ve had several impactful mentors through the years, my parents among them. But the one who walked me through my youthful immaturities and stuck with me until she died at 92 was Aunt Joyce (married to my Dad’s brother). She let me live with her family three different summers in the 1960’s, gently counseling, instructing, and (yes) chiding me as needed.

My respect for her grew as I aged and took on more common characteristics with her: marriage, motherhood, and other adult ups and downs. Aunt Joyce never preached. Instead she coaxed me into new ways of thinking for myself. She shared examples from her own life and was careful to include failures as well as successes. The fact that she would disclose her personal struggles to me always felt like a gift.

Aunt Joyce never labeled herself as a mentor, and it wasn’t until we’d been “working together” for years that I realized I was her mentoree. She had others, too, and in her later years complete strangers approached her through church contacts, requesting mentoring. She never turned them away and viewed each relationship as a holy privilege.

One of the reasons Aunt Joyce was an effective tutor was that she never said, “You should… do this or that.” Instead she’d say, “Here’s something you might want to try,” or “I found this approach worked for me in similar circumstances.” She made it seem like the two of us were in it together, a team, even equal at times, though I was always the one getting the benefits. But if my steady stream of questions and needs drained her, she never let on.

Of course the ultimate mentor is God, and he’s willing to partner with any of us desiring to be his mentorees. As with all good mentors, though, he leaves it up to us to take advantage of it.

Adam and Eve had it made with their daily mentoring sessions in the cool of each Eden evening. But despite their Mentor’s flawless guidance, they only agreed with 90% of it. The 10% they tossed aside made a radical difference in their quality of life. We can contradict what our mentors tell us, ignore their counsel, or follow their advice and watch our lives change for the better.

Aunt Joyce lived a long, fruitful life and was a valuable mentor for one reason: her advice was always right-on. That’s because it came down to her from her own mentor, God. Since he was her foundational source, she could give an opinion with confidence.

I tried to follow her example in lots of ways, but the one she most hoped I would emulate was looking to God as the ultimate Mentor… exactly like she did.

“One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” (Psalm 145:4)

I can’t deny it.

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Hollywood and the Bible have something in common: they’re both full of stories, not to mention the colorful personalities populating them. God’s plots and those of filmmakers could be skewed any way the authors choose, but the movie that sells the most tickets is usually the one with the most reprehensible characters in its script. We’d rather see actors make trouble than watch halo-worthy people do everything right.

God knows that, which is why he’s included so many off-kilter stories in the Bible. It’s more of a tell-all book than a goodie-two-shoes tale. He could have shown us only the holy side of his players, but instead he spells out the whole story, even the seedy parts.

How come?

It’s probably to convince us his Word is about real people, people who may have lived thousands of years ago but are really very much like us. Once we buy into that, we can learn from their rebellious behavior (and its resulting consequences) as much as from their cooperation with God. Probably more so.

Lively guys like superman Samson, bully Goliath, longsuffering Noah, first-man Adam, temper-tantrum Jonah, and dancing David are intriguing. All of them got into massive messes, and as we study those exciting (and sometimes far-fetched) stories, we shake our heads and remember what not to do.

When Jesus arrived on the biblical pages, he continued to acquaint us with people who were out-of-the-ordinary, even strange, putting his words and experiences into everyday contexts. Take his 12 disciples, for example, men of all ages, educational backgrounds, and professions. Some were gracious, others abrasive, but as we get to know them, we can see ourselves in their behavior.

Personally I relate to Peter the most. During the 3 years of Jesus’ ministry, Peter was probably about my age, older than the rest of the men and because of that, supposedly wiser. Instead we’re shown an impetuous character who was often reckless in his responses to circumstances. For instance, betraying and abandoning his dear friend Jesus when he needed him most.

In another incident (this one in John 21), Peter plays the lead in a grilling session that takes place at the beach, and I don’t mean on a Weber. Jesus had risen from the dead, and a handful of his disciples had just finished a spontaneous picnic breakfast with him at the edge of a lake.

Peter, probably unsure of where he stood with Jesus after his 3 blatant lies about him (using swear words for emphasis), was no doubt thrilled to be sharing a meal with him again. After they’d all finished eating, Jesus turned toward the impulsive Peter and zeroed in on him with a thorny Q&A session.

(Concluded tomorrow)

Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord.” (John 21:12)