Young Love (#100)

October 22 – 23, 1969 (Continued)

 
Chain lockWith a group of young men standing outside my front door and the threat of another coming in the unlocked back door, I took off running toward the back, terrified that I might meet a stranger coming in. I twisted the doorknob button, locking it tight, and slid the chain in place with trembling fingers.

Sliding to the floor, I tried to hold back frightened sobs by pressing my hand against my mouth. At the front door, the rough knocking and shouting continued. “C’mon. Let us in. Don’t you want your surprise?”

After what seemed like forever, the banging finally stopped. Had the neighbor across the hall heard? She was a single mom with a little girl and surely wouldn’t open her door. Might she have called the police? Were the young men worried about that possibility? Standing on the 3rd floor landing, they would be trapped if somebody came up the steps. Whatever the reason, they finally left.

After a long while, I crawled to the front window on all fours and carefully peeked down at the street. Their car was gone, and the crisis had passed. I debated calling Nate, but for two reasons I didn’t. (1) With only a hallway phone far from his room, it was doubtful I’d get to him, and (2) I worried that if I did get to him and then he drove to the apartment, those ruffians might be lurking nearby and harm him.

College students.As I calmed down that night, logic told me these boys were probably university students and had been out drinking with no premeditated plans to torment me. If I’d met them on campus during the day, they probably would have been harmless. But they’d seen me in the window and had reacted on the spur-of-the-minute.

Toward morning, all I could think of was how fortunate I’d been that they hadn’t gotten in. I was safe and unharmed, and I knew why. God had partnered with me through the whole torturous ordeal, protecting me. Though it was a sleepless night, I had much to think about.

When Nate arrived in the morning, I told him what had happened – recounting it calmly, downplaying the terror of those moments. His anger toward the boys flared, after which he folded me into his arms and apologized for not being there to keep me safe.

His frown lasted a long time as together we puzzled over what to do. If he spent nights with me from then on, what would happen to our desire to stay sexually pure? We were having a hard time as it was and knew we wouldn’t last the 5 weeks until our wedding. But if he left me alone, would those boys return? Or might something else just as bad happen?

Nate was a man bent on taking care of his woman, and I loved that about him. Admittedly, he wasn’t a fighter, but while he was with me, I felt protected.

Now what....We concluded that this scary incident had been devil-inspired, and there’s a verse in the Bible that says resisting the devil will cause him to flee. (James 4:7) So how did the Lord want us to resist? How could we make the devil flee?

We had two powerful temptations to resist – succumbing to chronic fear if Nate didn’t stay with me, and giving in to sexual desire if he did. Saying no to one surely meant embracing the other.

So there we were – caught between a rock and a hard place.

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial…” (James 1:12)

Young Love (#94)

It’s been a whirlwind 3 weeks since I last posted a “Young Love” blog, and here’s why:

95 Theses.In Germany —

  • Reuniting with my college roommate
  • Meeting new friends
  • Sightseeing, museums, following Martin Luther
  • Visiting other cities, a super-fast “bullet” train
  • Getting lost in Berlin… and found at 3:30 AM
  • Praying, laughing, eating, and “doing the city” by night

 

 

In England —

  • Jonathan.Meeting my 12th grandchild, Jonathan Richard Nyman
  • Renewing relationships with his 5 older siblings
  • Hiking as a family
  • Getting back in action with my co-grandma and the children as “Team Gran”
  • Sightseeing, riding bikes
  • Sharing lively meals
  • Visiting parks and playgrounds
  • Quizzing knowledgeable youngsters about Bible facts

British Nymans

(Hans and Katy with children, L to R: Nicholas, Evelyn, Elizabeth, Andrew, Thomas, and Jonathan in Katy’s front carrier.)

I’m overflowing with gratitude for these loving relationships and the chance to “get current” with each one. Thankfully, the globe is shrinking, and I’m learning the tricks of travel, mostly by making mistakes. It isn’t easy for this grandma to go-it-alone, especially internationally, but God goes with me — the best travel partner of them all.

And now…. back to the story of Meg and Nate as they travel toward their wedding day (and night) in the autumn of 1969:

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September 22–29, 1969

Although Nate and I no longer needed to write letters to each other, our tiny mailbox was still full. Mom sent a steady stream of progress reports on the wedding plans, usually accompanied by a list of questions, and Aunt Joyce mailed ongoing encouragement from California. Nate’s mother wrote, too, with questions about the rehearsal dinner and guest list.

M and M.Mary often sent notes urging me to give Mom honest answers to her questions. “The bride is the boss,” she wrote. “Tell Mom what you want, and don’t let her change your mind.” I appreciated the voice of experience, a cooperative sister-bride who had probably let Mom have her way on almost everything about her wedding — but at least she’d “been around” to take a more active role in the planning. My guilt about being out of town was mounting.

One thing I could help with was ordering invitations, which we hoped to get mailed by November 1st. I gave Mom my choices by mail: ivory colored paper, black ink, fancy script, and traditional wording. I also thought it would be fun to give the lady-guests a chance to wear long dresses if they wanted. When I suggested we add “Black tie optional” at the bottom of the invitation, Mom wrote, “Moody Church people won’t know what that means. The men will put on a black tie and think, ‘There. I did it.’ ” So we added “Formal dress optional” instead, even though we knew not many would take advantage.

The guest list had mushroomed to hundreds, and Mom said the invitations needed to be addressed in my handwriting. But it was debatable if I’d be able to drive home (repeatedly) to complete that task in time. I decided to wait till the invitations actually arrived before hitting the panic button.

“Do not be anxious about your life.” (Matthew 6:25)

Young Love (#60)

My mind was racing a mile a minute as I opened the apartment door and saw my old boyfriend standing there with another guy. I had worked hard to get him out of my mind in previous weeks, but even with effort, there was still a shred of a bond between us. My hands began to shake, and I so wished Nate was standing beside me. But my partner was far away, and I had to deal with this alone.

Emotions are a tricky thing. Attachments from the past can be reawakened by a song, a scent, a picture. And the picture I saw standing in front of me was wreaking havoc in my mind. The only thing to do was leave the room until I could get some measure of control.

a-bathroomI excused myself to the bathroom where I cried out to a God I knew would hear me and rescue me. I asked for a calm, logical spirit to be able to cope with my spinning thoughts and the two young men standing in my living room.

Now… to continue quoting from my letter of explanation to Nate, who was hundreds of miles away:

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God heard my prayer and calmed me down considerably, enough to go back to converse with them. I asked what they were doing downtown, and it was less than a minute when they suddenly noticed my engagement ring. He [old boyfriend] said, “Hey! Wait a minute! What’s this?” And grabbed my hand. I was so proud to tell them of our engagement, about when it happened, and when our wedding would be. I was bursting with joy over you, in my words to them. He just couldn’t believe we were engaged. They invited me to go out with them (saying we would celebrate the engagement), and though we did leave the apartment briefly, we were back in minutes. He was quite sullen and quiet after he’d seen our ring and quickly became anxious to leave. I was relieved to see them go, so that I could get with the Lord in prayer and go back to 1 John. God confirmed for me immediately the rightness of our marriage and my ever-growing love for you, my future husband. I love you so much! YOUR Meg.

July 15, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Would you be up for coming down here on Sunday just for the day (20 July), if I can confirm it in a phone call? I really want to be with you. I miss you. I will try to call you Saturday, 19 July, in the early evening. You were very honest with me about your boyfriend’s visit, how long it lasted, and that he saw your ring and now realizes the completeness of the engagement. I love your honesty and your beautiful soul (praying in the bathroom) so much that I could cry. I am confident he has high enough regard for our decision to respect it by leaving us alone now. If the devil was testing you, you passed with Christ’s blessing! Excellent! I’m proud of you!

July 16, 1969 – Dear Nate. You are amazing, the way you love me no matter what. I’ve never known someone who loves like that… except, of course, the Lord. I am longing to have you with me. I need you! I’m glad we decided to get married earlier rather than later. The distance between us isn’t helping anything.

July 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I am very secure in your love and loyalty. I’m glad we made the decision to have each other only, and no others in any capacity on the side – that we realized lateral relationships can destroy a marriage. You’re a fabulous Christian woman. I love you! I love you, no matter what.

“So will I ever sing praises to Your name, as I perform my vows day after day.” (Psalm 61:8)