Leaving a Legacy

Today found us doing what we always do on Memorial Day: driving to Chicago’s Rosehill Cemetery to visit the family graves. This year we only had 13 family members due to holiday work schedules and faraway family locales, but the day was important anyway.

Laughter at the cemeteryMary initiated a discussion of shared memories, one for each name on the tombstones beginning with the baby for whom the plot was initially purchased. He died in 1911 at only 20 months. Our sharing about little William was minimal since none of us had known him, but most of the others brought forth many memories.

Memorial Days of the past have often been somber or even difficult, but this one was punctuated with laughter. Funny stories abounded, and I can’t remember a more humorous celebration of those who had gone before. As always I loved hearing stories about Nate, and many shared.

Toward the end of our time together, Mary and Bervin’s son Karl voiced something we’d all been thinking. “Mom,” he said, “you didn’t think you’d be here today, did you?”

At the cemeteryMary had to admit he was right, but there she was, feeling well and looking good. It was cause for further rejoicing.

Later Mary and I had a long conversation about the day. “Was it difficult,” I said, “to be at the cemetery, now that cancer has entered your life? What were you thinking?”

“….that I’ve gotten good at taking one day at a time,” was her quick answer. “It’s the only way to handle this.”

She talked further, remarking how today’s cemetery trip prompted her to consider the spiritual legacy she’ll leave behind when she’s gone. “I don’t feel I’ve done enough,” she said. But before I could refute that, she continued. “I guess little becomes much when you put it in God’s hands.”

“You know,” she said, “only God knows how much longer I’ll live. When I think about Memorial Day a year from now, it seems very far away. But life is made for the living, and I’m going to do my best to live well on each of the days God gives me.”

She talked about the beauty of the cemetery and the dramatic greens of spring, how she hadn’t noticed the intensity of nature’s colors until cancer came.

“God has blessed me every day,” she said, “and has given me far more good days than bad ones. I intend to count my blessings and be grateful for each one.”

Folks with cancer have two choices: they can get mad or get glad. Mary has chosen to appreciate life more than ever, now that death has threatened. And that’s a mighty good legacy to leave.

Legacies“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a great weekend with kids, grandkids, and beautiful weather
  2. Praise for a godly heritage
  3. Pray against nausea after tomorrow’s chemo infusion

Lighting Up

Last night as Jack and I took our final walk of the day, the skies were lighting up like I’d never seen before. Chaotic lightning illuminated only the tops of a wild-looking cloud cover that spread from west to east, bursting bright as much as remaining dark. Jack and I stood in one spot for quite a while, mesmerized by the dramatic display.

Lightning in cloudsLightning fascinates us because of its power, and most of us were raised to respect it. Dad told us never to run under a tall tree for shelter since “lightning searches for a way to get to the ground and will strike the highest point in its path.” We all took him seriously when he said, “Run home instead.”

As Jack and I walked along looking up, my mind wandered to biblical passages about lightning, and once at home I looked them up. It was fascinating to read about God “owning” lightning. He “scatters it” and “unleashes it” at will. Job 36:32 says, “The Lord fills his hands with lightning and commands it to strike its mark.”

I learned that God has control of lightning in a place from which he dispenses it and “makes the lightning flash.” I loved Job 38:35 that says all lightning bolts “report to him.”

Phone callAlthough most of us haven’t been struck by lightning, flashes of sudden bad news have hit us with the same kind of force, such as a cancer diagnosis or any other shocking surprise. When we first hear the words, whether in a doctor’s office, on our front doorstep, or over the phone, we feel as blindsided as if a bolt of lightning had gone through us.

RunningDad told us to “run home” when lightning flashed, and when unwanted news hits, we adults feel like running, too. But where? God has a place. He says, “Run to Me.” As in Proverbs 18:10: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.” Other translations say he’s “a strong fortress” or “a place of protection.”

In other words, as soon as a lightning burst of terrible news touches us, we should fast-dash to the Lord. He’ll tell us what to think when our minds are swirling and will give instruction on what to do, once we are in his place of emotional safety.

My mini-study of biblical lightning also let me know that in the end times, Jesus will return to earth with “an appearance like lightning.” And this: “As lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.” (Matthew 24:27)

Maybe the dramatic east-to-west display Jack and I witnessed last night was a preview of what the sky will look like when we see Jesus returning to earth! And after that, we’ll never be struck by bad news again.

“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a Michigan sunset tonight
  2. Praise for a surprise in the mail, another well-stocked chemo care package, sent anonymously
  3. Pray for eyes to see the good in every day

A Firm Foundation

Today began with an event I’ve been looking forward to ever since we bought our Michigan cottage 14 years ago: the first stage of building a back yard deck.

CottageMost people would have either built the deck or given up by now, but complicating factors prohibited either one. In 2009 when we moved here full time, we hoped to retire and become part of a much quieter, slower lifestyle.

But as we were getting settled, Nate’s terminal cancer appeared, changing everything. Even so, I remember the day he and I walked from room to room talking of improvements we hoped to make in our home. It was a future-oriented conversation we both enjoyed while quietly knowing it wasn’t going to happen before he was gone.

Door to nowhereAs I moved into the sadness of widowhood, renovation plans were shelved, including the deck. It wasn’t until years later that it seemed right to pursue the list Nate and I had made during our house-walk. And now, a deck is about to be born outside our “door to nowhere.”

Since our property is on an incline, the boards will be 6 feet off the ground and in need of solid underpinnings, 4 X 4 posts set in 42” of concrete.

Digging holesAlmost immediately today the workmen ran into trouble. A foot below the surface, their tools hit a mysterious concrete barrier. Trying to dig it up proved futile, as did breaking through it.  So the men had two options.

One was to set shorter posts into the holes, hoping the new concrete would sit firmly on the old. The other was to reconfigure deck plans enough to relocate the holes. Eventually they decided that taking a chance on a wiggly foundation was a bad idea, and they rearranged the plans to where they could dig new, deep holes instead. A quality structure depends on a sure foundation.

In one sense that’s what Mary is doing with the misery of chemotherapy. She’s building the firmest foundation possible toward good health. She could have chosen a short-cut, skipping chemo and hoping the surgery she had would be enough to keep cancer away.

Instead she made the more difficult decision with a higher emotional and physical price tag. All of us who love her are exceedingly thankful. The firm foundation she’s building (requiring 18 infusions) will yield the strongest result.

Someone else who sacrificed absolutely everything to build a firm foundation was Jesus Christ. His goal wasn’t physical health but spiritual health, making a way for us to become righteous through him. And there’s never been a higher price to pay than the cross. As a result, we can base our faith on him with rock-solid confidence it will never wobble. His foundational promises are actually what Mary is standing on daily as she lays her own groundwork toward good health with 6 months of chemo.

And not too long from now, I hope she’ll find herself relaxing on a new, wiggle-free, firmly-founded deck.

“God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: ‘The Lord knows those who are his’.” (2 Timothy 2:19)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise that the chemo infusion today (#2) had less wait-time, and blood counts were still in acceptable ranges.
  2. Pray blood counts will stay high enough to receive infusion #3 next week, completing the first round of six.
  3. Pray against infection as white blood cells continue to drop.
  4. Pray against nausea, which was a struggle today.