Category Archives: Outdoor world

Eager Expectations

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???????????????????????????????Last week I took 18 month old Emerald to the beach, and though she’d been there last year as a baby, this time everything was new again. She experimented with different size shovels, enjoyed the toys we’d brought, and worked hard to stay upright on a steep dune. Best of all, though, was touching the sand.

She spent at least 15 minutes picking up fistfuls and rubbing it between her fingers, feeling its texture, watching it fall. Every so often she’d squeal, bubbling over with joy over this new experience.

This morning while reading from Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest, God showed me how Emerald’s behavior at the beach paralleled what is supposed to be our experience as Christians. When she stands up in her crib each morning, Emerald has no idea what her day will bring, and it doesn’t bother her in the least. She has no expectations and approaches each day with eagerness.

Chambers wrote, “We do not know what each day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation.”

???????????????????????????????His point? No matter what uncertainties we feel, we can be certain of God. “He packs our life with surprises,” Chambers said. And this is where Emerald comes in. He referred to Matthew 18:3 (“Except you… become as little children”) when he wrote, “Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God but uncertain of what he is going to do next.” Emerald isn’t uncertain of Birgitta and her capable leadership, protection, and love. She just has no idea what it will look like on any given day.

We adults, however, often find that kind of certainty-in-God difficult to cultivate. It’s much easier to “sigh with sadness” when we can’t at least partially predict the future. This is the frustration Mary was experiencing when she couldn’t decide for or against chemotherapy. And it’s similar now as she approaches treatment. Will the side- effects be debilitating? Will I be able to participate in regular life? Will I lose my hair? Will the chemo kill the cancer? Will it add years to my life?

It seems incongruous to label cancer or chemotherapy “a life-surprise” since a surprise is usually good. But that’s how God wants us to see them.

???????????????????????????????If we’ve entrusted our lives to his care the way Emerald entrusts herself to Birgitta, we don’t need to know the specifics of what’s ahead.

As Chambers wrote, “When we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.”

Joyful uncertainty. Sounds like an oxymoron, but the Lord wants us to joyfully believe the certain things about him, and just let the rest go.

“The plans I have for you,” says the Lord “are plans for good and not for disaster.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a weight gain of 5 pounds!
  2. Pray for the decision about chemo location, which will probably be made on Wednesday
  3. Praise for good sleep at night

What’s to do?

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When a family member learns she/he has cancer, those who love her are willing to do almost anything to help. But short of encouraging words and prayer, there’s not much to actually do.

That’s why something like a 5K run/walk to benefit cancer research feels good. It’s something we can do.

A bunch of Mary’s family and friends showed up at Chicago’s lakefront on Saturday, despite icy winds and temperatures in the low 40’s for this year’s pancreatic cancer walk/run.

The walk-runThousands of other participants beat us there, a mob of cheerful people among whom were 249 teams running/walking for someone they loved who’d been touched by pancreatic cancer. Many team names had their loved one in them: Robyn’s Cancer Kickin’ Crew, or Rich’s Rebels Against Pancan, or Mark’s Miracle Walkers.

Other team names were mysterious and intriguing: Land of the Kings, Peanut Heads, Polar Express.  Some were more obvious: HugSomeoneYouLoveToday, and WeLoveYouDaddy. Most participants were wearing purple, including tights or tutus, purple hats, boas, necklaces, or sparkly purple face masks. We saw purple-flowered leis, purple back packs, and purple painted faces.

In the opening ceremony, the MC reminded the whole mob why we were there: to raise dollars toward a cure for pancreatic cancer. But it was much more than that. Such an event fosters courage and offers encouragement to those among the purple throngs who were in the midst of their cancer battle, even some who had tangled with it and survived to “walk/run another day.”

End pancreaticOur Mary was there, too, cheering on “her people” and hostessing lunch when it was over. Some of our team performed valiantly. Son Luke came in 3rd out of thousands, and that while pushing his own son in a jogging stroller. At the other end of the spectrum were those of us sheltering babies from the cold wind, some of us using a car as a warming room.

All 25 of us benefited by being able to do something to fight the enemy of cancer, and it was especially meaningful to do it in honor of Mary, who very likely will benefit from what science is discovering.

Marchers for MaryAny health crisis is an opportunity for loved ones to circle the wagons and draw close to each other, and this weekend’s 5K was a chance to do that.

God has allowed pancreatic cancer to enter our ranks for reasons unknown to us, but what we do know is that he doesn’t allow calamity without attaching blessing to it. Saturday’s 5K was an opportunity to show family-and-friend-faithfulness by doing something for Mary…. which was a blessing indeed.

“The fruit of the Spirit is…. faithfulness.” (Ephesians 5:22)

Mary’s Prayer Requests and Praises

  1. Praise for a meaningful weekend with family
  2. Praise for so many people willing to run/walk at the 5K
  3. Continue to pray for this week’s choice of chemo hospital
  4. Pray for pre-chemo strength and continued weight gain.

Into the Storm

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A few weeks ago, I was driving from southwest Michigan around the bottom of the lake, heading for Chicago. I appreciated the good traveling weather, sunny and dry, knowing that winter winds and moisture funneling down the lake (known as lake-effect blizzards) can take drivers by storm, pun intended.

Just ahead...As I whizzed along appreciating the 70 mph speed limit, an ominous sight came into view, a swath of stormy-looking clouds hovering directly over my route. On more than one occasion at that same point in the trip, I’ve driven from dry weather into a snowstorm that was akin to blasting through a white curtain into another world.

As I continued on, I thought of how we can often see other types of storms coming to our lives, too. We might know ahead of time we’re going to experience a rough struggle, but circumstances dictate we have to head into it anyway.

Major surgery is one of those.

Although doctors usually give minimal detail about the suffering a patient will encounter post-op, we begin finding out as soon as we’re in the recovery room. And it doesn’t always get better from there. In some cases (like Mary’s) the misery hangs around for quite some time.

In hindsight, though, Mary couldn’t very well have said no to this surgical storm. Now that she’s gone through it, her prognosis is a thousand times better than if she’d opted out. And just like a lake-effect blizzard, the turbulence she’s currently experiencing will end.

No life is free of stormy periods. Our son Lars used to live in San Diego, and when I asked when the weather would be best to visit he said, “Mom, it’s warm and sunny every day here.” I thought of our crazy Midwest weather with its variety of storms, and wondered if those Californians appreciate their sunshine as much as we do ours.

Operating roomAnd that’s the thing about storms like surgery and so many others. After spending some time “down and out,” it’s a thrill to get back to ordinary life. After bearing intense pain, it’s a blessing to have a feel-good day.

Mary and Bervin gratefully drove from Rochester back to Chicago yesterday to spend their first night at home in quite a while. And it was every bit as soothing as they’d hoped. Mary reported that today was nourishing in every way.

By the way, that day I drove into a crazy lake-effect storm, I had to grip the steering wheel tight, lean toward the windshield, and squint to keep from getting hypnotized by the wild snow. But once I came out the other side, I could sit back, loosen my grip, and drive calmly the rest of the way.

Into the stormMary, too, will come through her storm to face life with a new sense of tranquility and gladness. An ordinary “ride” will have become a supreme pleasure.

“Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble… He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness.” (Psalm 107:28-30)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Pray she’ll learn which foods work well and which don’t
  2. Pray for weight gain
  3. Praise for a good first day back home
  4. Praise for the encouraging cards/Scriptures in their waiting mail