Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE
One thing both of us found helpful was spending time with a mother-mentor. Keep your eyes peeled for possibilities, perhaps someone you already know. A mentor should be a woman you admire for her Christian character and love of family. How does she relate to her children and to those of others? Ideally, she will be about a decade ahead of you in her mothering, although it can work with someone older too.
After you’ve chosen your would-be mentor (but haven’t yet approached her), dialogue with God about her. Ask several important questions: “Will this person be an encouraging voice for me? Will her advice be grounded in godly wisdom? Might she fulfill a counseling role in regard to my mothering problems? Does she have a sense of humor? Does she walk closely with the Lord?”
Once you’ve prayed about it, expect God to give you the answers to your questions, along with the “when” and “how” of approaching her. Many mature women are willing to meet with younger moms, but if they aren’t asked, they won’t initiate it. That part is up to you.
It might seem scary to ask someone to mentor you, so just think of it as an invitation to one conversation. Our suggestion would be to avoid directly asking for mentorship. Instead, ask if she’d be willing to drop by for a cup of coffee some time. Offer a few possible dates and see how she responds.
You might say you want to “pick her brain” about mothering, knowing she’s a bit farther along than you. Then, if she agrees to come, have your questions ready.
“When you had a child the age of mine, how did you handle such-and-such?” or “I’m expecting our second baby and am worried I won’t love him as much as I did the first. Did you ever feel like that?” Ask her to recount her own mothering experience. She’ll be delighted that you want to know.
- Experienced
- Wise
- Willing
- Hand-picked
- Seasoned
- Godly