Category Archives: Parenting

Sneak Peek #17

Posted on by

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) used to volunteer for the local Meals on Wheels organization, packing and taking healthy meals to shut-ins. Though I’d wanted to do this from the time my children were little, I decided it would be too much to bring them along. Instead I waited till they were all in school. I could deliver the meals quicker that way and move on to the many other things I wanted to do.

Then one day, after collecting the packaged meals I was to deliver and shoving the overloaded bin into my car, I watched as another mom joined our crew of delivery ladies. She’d brought her two-and-four-year-olds along and was moving at their much slower pace. She handed one meal at a time to her little ones. “Carry this to Mommy’s car now. Be careful, because there’s a hungry lady waiting for us to bring it to her.”

The example of this woman patiently letting her children help with this worthwhile project impacted me, and I stopped to watch. It occurred to me I’d missed a golden opportunity to teach my children some great lessons by waiting to volunteer till they were all in school. Meals on Wheels would have been the perfect way to teach an important character trait: helping those who couldn’t help in return. And since most of the meal recipients were elderly, they would have been blessed to see the children. But I’d chosen to put efficiency above values, forfeiting that opportunity.

When you and your young children do things together, God counts this as “redeemed time.” Including the youngsters He’s given you elevates the activity to a level of His special blessing since you are joining with Him in acknowledging their importance. Children are little for only a short time, and those first five years fly by. So work to be deliberate about beating the clock, making that time count.

SIDEBAR:  A PEEK INTO YOUR PRESCHOOLER’S HEART

  • My universe revolves around me.
  • My world is often confusing.
  • I can’t trust everyone.
  • Sometimes I’m afraid.
  • A night-light is comforting.
  • My world is new and interesting.
  • I like to go along.
  • I learn fast.
  • I can’t verbalize how I feel.
  • I adore my mother.
  • I want to do what Mommy does.

Sneak Peek #16

Posted on by

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Most young children are reluctant to end the day when it’s time to head for bed. Not only does it initiate isolation from other family members, it signifies putting toys away and ending playtime. That’s why children work to keep mommy in the room as long as possible. Unbeknownst to them, however, this strategy on their part becomes a powerful perk for mothers who want to take advantage of this tender time.

Your youngsters become especially warm to what you do during these moments, hanging on your every word. It becomes an optimal time to memorize a short line of Scripture or sing a song. I (Margaret) sang bedtime choruses to Nelson, our firstborn, starting when he was about a year old. As he learned to talk, he picked up the words, and by the time he was three, he had memorized (and could sing) fifty-five Sunday school songs.

These short choruses were full of God’s truth, simplified for children, and as the two of us continued singing, Nelson often asked questions about the words, attentive to my answers. Be sure to include a prayer of blessing over your child before you leave the room. God is there listening to you and loves to answer a mother’s heartfelt prayers.

These bedtime suggestions might sound elaborate and time consuming, but the whole thing can be done in just a few minutes. Think of it as the most valuable part of your routine, even more important than having a bath or brushing teeth.

As you step out of the room, along with your “night-night, honey,” conclude this time with something uplifting. “I love you very much, darling,” or “See you in the morning!” Staying positive is better than, “I hope you’ll do better tomorrow.” Try to express unconditional love . . . one more time.

SIDEBAR:  POTENTIAL FOR EVERY DAY

  • Hug your child.
  • Say I love you.
  • Praise your child.
  • Compliment your child for any job done.
  • Kiss your child.
  • Tell him you’re glad he’s yours.

Sneak Peek #15

Posted on by

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Comparing kids as you decide which classes, teams, or activities to register for can yield a helpful list of reasons why or why not. Second-borns, for instance, almost always follow a path different from their firstborn siblings. A wise mother understands this and doesn’t attempt to make one childhood identical to another. If she insists on uniformity, at least one of her children isn’t being accepted for who he really is.

Studying your children can be a complicated business. After noticing their different leanings, moms automatically compare them to each other. But remind yourself often that from God’s perspective, each stands alone and no talent or gift makes one child superior to another. Even what appears to be a weakness can change into a strength in His hands.

One other caution: since logic says you’ll view your children through your own innate talents, it’s important not to elevate one child over another just because his bent matches yours. Though you may relate more naturally to that youngster, be careful you don’t favor him without realizing it. Both the favored and the unfavored will eventually pick up on it, and the result will be anger and resentment–toward you and the sibling.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them” (NLT). In other words, if you treat them incorrectly, anger will be the inevitable result. The last half of the verse describes how to treat them well. “Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

As you learn all you can about how each of your children is wired, what different instructions do you think God has attached to them? Ask yourself, which activities would work best for her? What encouragement from you will validate the way she was made? What approach will partner with what God is already doing in her life? Raising children is a difficult job, and doing it one by one makes it more so. But your frustrations will be less and disappointments fewer if you follow God’s lead.

SIDEBAR: RESULTS OF COMPARING

  • Feelings of inferiority
  • Unnecessary jealousy
  • Deep emotional wounds
  • A sense of being unloved
  • Extra stress in mommy
  • Denial of natural bents
  • Aggression between children