Sneak Peek #13

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Disciplining children can be the most difficult part of parenting, and parents don’t automatically know how best to handle infractions without overdoing or underdoing. It’s tricky to hit it just right, since each child is different and each “crime scene” is unique.

That doesn’t let mothers off the hook, though. The Bible is replete with examples of what happens when children are left to discipline themselves before they’re old enough to know how. And Scripture gives plenty of info on how to do it right. The old idea, “Spare the rod and spoil the child” actually originates with God (Proverbs 22:15). But even after we’ve nodded in agreement, we often find ourselves in blurry situations.

Both of us have learned through our mistakes that the best way to discipline is to let natural consequences do it for you. I (Mary) remember my first experience with this and how well it worked. Julia was barely two years old, playing in the bathtub one day, when she repeatedly grabbed a bar of pink soap from the built-in soap dish. She badly wanted to take a bite, and I knew she needed to learn soap wasn’t for eating.

“No-no,” I said again and again, taking the soap from her and putting it back. “Yucky. We don’t eat soap.”

With typical toddler persistence, she continued to reach for it, and I knew I’d have to press my point. Either I’d have to remove the soap, despite my wanting it to stay there, or I’d have to slap her hand, which I was reluctant to do. Without one of the two, our soap battle would continue indefinitely—that is, until I realized I had one more option. I could let her eat the soap.

Leaning back, I watched her grab it, take a bite, make a face, and put it back. She never reached for it again. Done.


SIDEBAR:  WHEN YOUR CHILD PUSHES YOUR HOT BUTTON

  • Take a deep breath.
  • Refuse the urge to react.
  • Pray quickly.
  • Keep a calm demeanor.
  • Isolate your child.
  • Leave the room if you must.
  • Use natural consequences if you can.

Sneak Peek #11

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Though conversation with a husband can meet a certain need for adult companionship, we all know they don’t enjoy chatting as much as we do, not to mention they’ve never been moms.

After an especially draining day, I (Mary) couldn’t wait for my husband to walk through the door after work. His sympathizing ear would soothe my intense frustration and encourage me.

As soon as he was within earshot, I began detailing my distressing day, eager for his encouragement. When he reminded me I was blessed to be a mother and ought not to be complaining as I was, it didn’t do a thing to help me.

Since he was unwilling to give credence to my complaints, I snatched a piece of notebook paper from a nearby table and wrote, “I UNDERSTAND!” in big, bold, capital letters. Then I held the paper in front of his face and said, “Say this to me.”

He did, and though I knew he didn’t really understand, it helped a little. But better than expecting your husband to sympathize with the relentless demands of motherhood, it’s more effective to find another mother.


SIDEBAR: WHERE TO FIND ANOTHER MOTHER

  • Church nurseries
  • Parks
  • Book clubs
  • Co-ops
  • Neighborhoods
  • Bible studies
  • Health clubs
  • Relatives
  • MOPS meetings
  • Sunday school classes

Sneak Peek #10

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

God considers children one of life’s most valuable blessings. In the Bible, He often rewarded a woman by way of sending a newborn. It’s as if the best gift He could think of was arranging for women to raise, nurture, and love a child. Although the job can completely deplete us, He sees that as our opportunity to call for extra blessing, which He then joyfully delivers.

The next time you’re up during the night feeding a hungry newborn, resist the urge to make a mental list of complaints. Instead list what you find to be precious about him and thank the One who created him with those things, mentioning each one. Or study your baby’s face in the dim glow of a night-light and thank God for each of her features.

Softly hum a worship song or hymn as you rock your little one, reciting the words inside your head. Pray rich blessings over your baby, telling God what your hopes and dreams are for him. Name spiritual blessings you hope he will experience. Quote Scripture over him as you snuggle together.

Turn those 3:00 a.m. feedings into something special, and you might even begin to value what you gain during these unique moments together. And please remember that as you hold your child, the Lord is holding you, looking at you through eyes of fervent love. As you cradle your child, He is cradling you . . . “in his everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:27).


SIDEBAR: VERSES TO PRAY OVER YOUR CHILDREN

  • Psalm 119:72—to love God’s Word
  • Proverbs 10:9—to walk in integrity
  • Proverbs 14:23—to work hard
  • Psalm 107:1—to be thankful
  • James 4:7—to resist the devil
  • Proverbs 1:10—to choose friends wisely
  • 1 John 1:9—to confess sin
  • 2 Timothy 1:7—to have self-discipline
  • Colossians 2:8—to believe only truth
  • Psalm 3:5—to sleep well
  • 1 John 5:13—to be eternally secure
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13—to escape temptation