Category Archives: Parenting

A Few Words from Mary

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Today, September 24, marks two years since my sister Mary died. As is true for anyone who’s lost someone precious, I still experience strong frustration at not being able to talk to her. Having valued her opinions and ideas for 70 years, I feel a void because of her absence.

1973 setSince the early 70’s when we had our first babies, the topic we most talked about (for the next 45 years) was mothering. We shared the highs and – more importantly – the lows. We  hashed over problems, exchanged solutions, and recognized God’s ongoing partnership.

 

M.E.P.Thankfully, Mary left behind many of her opinions and ideas about mothering, and recently I found a sampling. During the years we worked together in the Moody Church nursery, our Nursery Committee put out a quarterly newsletter called the Crib Sheet.

Each issue began with an article called THE HIGH CHAIR written by our chairman — Mary. She shared what was important to her, and in the issue I just came across, she summarizes what she calls the “privilege” of motherhood. Re-reading it today was a satisfying way to remember and honor her:

Crib Sheet

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them!” (Luke 18:16)  Mary loved it when they came to her, too. Then one day Jesus asked Mary to come to him…. and she did.

Nine Years Ago Today

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Today, September 22, is the 9th anniversary of the day Nate and I learned of his fatal cancer. He’d been bothered by severe back pain for 7 months and was scheduled for surgery when pre-op tests told a different story.

After that appointment at a Chicago hospital, we pointed our mini-van toward the peace and quiet of our Michigan home. As I drove, Nate used the time to call each of his 7 children to tell them personally what we’d just learned. As emotionally draining as that job was, he wanted each of them to hear it directly from him.

Normal life came to a screeching halt that day as we tried to absorb the shock. No one knew what was going to happen, but all agreed it couldn’t possibly be anything good.

*          *              *              *              *             *              *              *             *              *

Recently I came across a paper with Nate’s handwriting on it, something I don’t often see these days. It was the first page in a blank book, dated 9/22/09. He had titled it, “Journal of Willard Nyman.” *

In less than 20 words his first entry summarized the dreadful truth:

Sept. 22, 2009The Dr told me I have [metastasizing] pancreatic cancer today. Thought it was back problem all the time.

In those words I could hear his grave disappointment but also a measure of acceptance. Though Nate had hoped to write down his thoughts as he journeyed through cancer, he never had the chance. The daily pace moved too fast for that. This first entry was his last.

Because September 22 has come around 9 times now, I find myself thinking back without tears. Though I miss Nate every hour of every day, God’s healing of my heart has taken away the pain of remembering.

Now when I go back to that time, I think of the many ways God was on the move. On September 22, when we’d all agreed nothing good could possibly happen after the diagnosis, we had been wrong.

M and N, Aug. 09God pulled our attention toward him on every one of those 42 days by causing unusual things to happen in and around us. He proved how very close he was and sustained us by sprinkling blessings over each day’s harsh circumstances. And God is willing to partner like that with every person through grievous situations. He sustains us, rescues us, and is so close he can even carry us.

The Lord said, “I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” (Isaiah 46:4b)

* Nate’s real name: Willard Nathan Nyman (Photo taken 8/22/09)

Endless Ideas

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Emerald beach girlAfter having granddaughter Emerald with me for a week, my appreciation for children has had a fresh infusion of delight. The two of us fell into a happy routine of church day camp every morning and beach time every afternoon.

Between those events, we dug out the old craft bin and generated original artwork. We also refreshed our fairy garden in the front yard and arranged plastic animal families on the back deck.

 

Emerald's artwork

Whenever Emerald said, “Hey, I’ve got a good idea!” I knew a blessing was about to come my way. Parents frequently have too much to do and are flying fast through their days. But grandparents often have the time to say, “Good idea! Let’s try that.”

One evening while I was tidying up my sewing box, Emerald reached for my old pin cushion and said, “MeeMee, can I use this? ‘Cuz I’ve got a good idea!”

 

 

Pin cushion.I handed her the tomato-shaped ball full of straight pins. Without saying a word, she carefully removed all the pins and put them in a neat pile. Then, while softly singing a variety of songs, she began sticking the pins back into the tomato in what seemed to be random order.

When she finished, however, she turned the pin cushion toward me and said, “Wasn’t this a good idea?” I had to agree. My pin cushion never looked cuter.

Pin cushionI’ve used that tomato since it belonged to Mom many decades back, and never once did I think of making a face with the pins. Leave it to a child…

Sometimes God impresses us in a similar way — but better. And he seems never to do anything the same way twice. After all, look at his measureless originality in creating mankind. Even identical twins aren’t identical people. And because he never runs out of new ideas, he often works on us or leads us in ways we’ve never seen before… and may struggle to understand.

This might be why we sometimes resist what he’s doing. “It doesn’t make sense,” we say. “It just isn’t logical.” But God’s logic stretches so far beyond ours that even if we lived well into our 100’s and had the wisdom of age, we’d never figure him out.

So, when we ask God to guide us in some way, we can skip suggesting how he might do that. Instead we should leave the how-to up to him, while watching for something completely unexpected to happen. And that will most likely be related to our request…

…because when God says, “Hey, I’ve got a good idea!” it’s always a really good one.

“Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” (Jeremiah 33:3, The Message)