Category Archives: Parenting

Young Love (#98)

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October 18 – 19, 1969

 

The folks.In all the wedding excitement, Mom and Dad had a reason of their own to celebrate. It was their 28th anniversary, and as always, their weekend was crammed with activity. Mom was planning and attending a bridal shower, painting the living room, teaching Sunday school, playing the organ in church, shopping for drapes, making airport runs, and studying music choices for our wedding.

My Aunt Joyce and Uncle Edward (Dad’s brother) had come to town on their way from Washington DC back to California, and Nate and I had dearly hoped to join in on the fun. It was always a special treat to spend time with my aunt, my mentor, and yet things were happening in Champaign, too.

Nate was bearing down on his law studies with mid-terms on the horizon and was also hunting for a part time job.

As Mom and Dad’s anniversary came closer, I realized I hadn’t planned ahead for a gift or good wishes and decided to send a telegram – the only way to get a message to them quickly, apart from a phone call. I thought a telegram might make a bit of a splash…. and knew it would get there on time.

In the end, it was a good thing we stayed in Champaign. Our newspaper ad for the Corvette was getting a lively response, and the first young man who came to see and drive it, ended up buying it. Nate stood nearby as this guy and his buddy spent 2 hours inspecting every inch of the car. They even pulled the front end up onto a curb and squeezed themselves beneath it, conversing under there about what they were seeing.

Selling the Corvette

Finally, well after dark, they began negotiating with Nate. He told them multiple parties had called in response to the ad, and by the time he climbed the stairs back to our apartment, he had the cash-in-hand – our full asking price.

Though it was sad to watch our beautiful car pull away with two strangers in its red bucket seats, having made the sale brought us one step closer to a practical replacement vehicle.

As the weekend closed, Mom sat down and wrote us to say thanks for the telegram and to report on their anniversary festivities. At the end of the letter she showed her love for Nate in an unusual way.

HappyShe surmised we were having fun together in Champaign but decided to caution me about overdoing it. She wrote, “Keep in mind, little girl, that Nathan must study. No time for frivolities until the Christmas break.”

Little did she know that he was the one initiating most of those frivolities.

“There is a time to laugh… and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4)

Young Love (#97)

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October 13 – 17, 1969

 

These days I felt like I was living in three different worlds: fiancée, school teacher, and wedding planner. But much like a child, I dealt first with what was immediately in front of me. That meant my students and lesson plans occupied most of my time.

ID cards, usedI was falling in love with my little first graders and looked forward to being with them every day. And as I worked with them, my mind often drifted to the kindergarteners I’d taught in Chicago. They were in first grade now, too, and I hoped they were doing ok.

Nate and I, wanting to have some children in the wedding, sent several letters to 4 of my former students, asking if they would take part in our wedding. We asked Timmy if he’d be the ring bearer, Brittany if she’d be the flower girl, and Kim and Carla if they would pass out groom’s cake to our guests. I also called my Chicago team teaching partner and asked if her two children, Marea and Paul (a little older) would be our candle lighters.

Ring BearerThe yes-es came back quickly, and each child enthusiastically agreed to participate in the wedding. And I was thrilled that I would get to reconnect with at least several of the children I loved so much.

Although I still had doubts about my 1st grade teaching abilities, there was one area of my work in which I had unshakeable confidence.

Teachers in small schools like ours sometimes doubled as gym teachers, and to my delight, our gym had a trampoline. Having taken classes in high school (and even winning a contest), I was eager to show my admiring students how to jump. But as I began demonstrating somersaults, back drops, and flips-with-twists, rather than the admiration I’d expected, I got laughter.  Later I learned they were catching repeated glimpses of their teacher’s panties and didn’t know what to do with that information. (Could I help it if teachers wore only dresses back then?)

From momMom said she was praying for me, that I would do a good job with my students and wrote of her confidence. “Hope you’re getting the victory over that first grade assignment. You’re more than equal to it: yessir, you are! ‘See Spot run! Look! Look! Look!’ ”

Ever the optimist, she filled her letters with praise and good cheer. “Dad just said, out of the blue, ‘Margaret will make it: she has a way with kids.’ And we weren’t even talking about you, darling.” I accepted it all and moved forward accordingly.

My groom was also supportive, always having a cup of coffee and a listening ear waiting when I arrived home from work. He never tired of hearing about my day and began knowing who-was-who among my students. “Did Todd cooperate today? What about Karen? Did she say anything funny?”

I reveled in his rapt attention and was always sad when it came time for him to drive away at night. Standing at our un-curtained 3rd floor window waving until he was out of sight, I couldn’t believe we had 8 long weeks to wait until we were married — an eternity.

“Live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way…. being strengthened…. so that you may have great endurance and patience.” (Colossians 1:10-11)

Young Love (#96)

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October 4 – 12, 1969

Nate and I found great joy in flipping our calendar from September to October so we could officially say, “Next month we’ll be married!”

With the arrival of beautiful fall weather and pretty leaves, we established an evening walk each night after supper. Our six-flat apartment building was in a charming older neighborhood with streets of brick that were much like cobblestones — a delightful place to walk and dream about being husband and wife.

TogetherFrom my journal: “Back on July 4th in that Holiday Inn room, I wrote and officially sealed my pledge of loyalty, support, love, and devotion to Nate. And since then I have felt like I wanted to re-pledge and double-pledge to him, because my heart has been continually growing in love for him. When I look at Nate, I just about fall over with appreciation for who he is. And his love for me makes me feel unbelievably secure. I never knew I was capable of this depth of devotion. Really!”

Guilt sometimes nagged at me when I thought of Mom and Dad working so hard back home to plan our wedding while we went about our daily routine somewhat insulated from the hub-bub. So the next Sunday we decided to make an unannounced trip to surprise my folks and do what we could to help. Skipping our own church service to drive the 3 hours home, we arrived at the Moody Church steps just as Mom and Dad were coming out, and our surprise was a big hit.

Guest listsWe, along with Mary, Bervin, and several aunts, went out to lunch and “talked wedding.” Afterwards, we gathered around Mom and Dad’s kitchen table, finalizing the guest list and choosing a couple of October dates when we could return to address invitations. Although we had to head back to Champaign after just a few hours, we had participated in advancing wedding plans…. at least a little.

Just before we left, Mom let us know another bridal shower was being planned, this one at our friends the Elsen’s large home in Evanston. I determined then that the first order of business back in Champaign would be to complete the stack of thank you notes I hadn’t yet written for gifts we’d received at the first shower. Another one seemed too good to be true.

A friend gets a rideWe decided to drive the Corvette back to Champaign, planning to place a want-ad in the newspaper. A quick sale would bring the money needed to fund a replacement car, or at least some of it, and I could see it all coming together on one of those invitation-addressing-weekends. (Right: a family friend asks for one last sit-down in the ‘Vette.’)

Just before waving goodbye, I asked Mom when their kitchen remodel would be finished. The tear-down hadn’t even started yet — and our wedding was only 6 weeks away. She patted me on the shoulder and said, “Don’t you worry about all that, honey. It’ll get done in time.” But looking over at Dad’s furrowed brow, I had my doubts.

“Prepare your minds for action.” (1 Peter 1:13)