Category Archives: Parenting

Young Love (#61)

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Although Nate’s letters didn’t indicate any uncertainties over the incident with my old boyfriend, surely it discouraged him. Part of the problem (for both of us) was our need to be together, which was frustrated by circumstances that wouldn’t allow it – and both of us were suffering as a result. I made an appointment with our pastor, thinking we could use his counsel, not just about the wedding ceremony but everything else, too. It was arranged in August, during family week at camp when Nate and I wouldn’t be counseling. Perfect timing.

July 17, 1969 – Dear Nate. Everything is all set to meet with Pastor Sweeting in a wedding “conference” set up for the Wednesday in August when we won’t be at camp. It will be good to talk to him. My roommate came home tonight after 2 weeks away, and I’m so glad. I’ve missed talking with her so much. Marti is a true friend. She was excited to see our ring and thinks it’s gorgeous. I get fonder and fonder of it every day, and fonder and fonder of my commitment to you every day, too! I need you with me in so many ways, but most of all because I love you soooo much!

July 17, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I think your old boyfriend knows now, completely and honestly, of our engagement, and I don’t feel further explanations can do anything – either be more considerate of his feelings or more explicit. I know you agree that any meeting with him is unfair to our relationship. I love you. Thank you for your letter. I understand your situation and think you handled him and his friend brilliantly. I’ll love you forever! And I hope you will come on Sunday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When it didn’t work out for me to visit that Sunday, Nate grew discouraged. But just when his spirits were lagging badly, he got a jolt of encouragement from an unlikely source:

my mom.

moms-letter-to-nate

Her letter (written with red ink on pink paper) arrived at Ft. Riley full of loving words and a welcome into our family. I didn’t know she’d planned to write him but was delighted when he phoned on a pre-arranged Saturday night call and read her words to me:

Dear Nathan: Thanks for your kind letter. Congratulations on your engagement to Margaret. May you have “the peace of God which passeth all understanding” in your life together. We lovingly welcome you into our family. The ring you gave your wife-to-be is exquisite: we are overwhelmed with its size.

From birth until even today, Margaret has been a “joy and light” in our home, truly a gift from God. In all likelihood, Meg will belong to you far longer than she’s been our little girl, but in your own well-chosen words, she will forever be “Margaret who we love.” Agreed? Settled!

the-letterWe love you likewise, dear Nathan.

It was a pleasure to meet your parents. Your mother wrote a sweet note to us, offering help with the wedding and in any area needed. Rest assured the Nymans and Johnsons are counting their mutual blessings in the union of their Nathan and our Margaret.

                      Fondly, Evelyn Johnson

 

“Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

Young Love (#56)

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While Nate was excelling as an Army cadet in Kansas, I was immersing myself in the mechanics of planning a wedding. Mom and Dad were making preparations to move from a large home to one half its size, wondering what to do with a lifetime of accumulated “stuff.” It seemed like big changes were bearing down on all of us.

July 11, 1969 – Dear Nate, my Love. I spent this whole day in the stores, mostly looking at silver, china, and crystal, drawing sketches so I will remember names, and writing down descriptions and prices. I’m trying to narrow it down before mailing you my suggestions. It’s so much fun! But I desperately need you with me when we actually register at Fields and Carsons. We can do it in August. I’ve also been looking at sample wedding invitations. I think it would be nice to go formal with raised script on ivory colored paper. And I’m glad Dad is going to pay for them!

wedding-check-listJuly 11, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you for your loyalty, faith, happiness, beauty, and intelligence. You are the perfect life partner for me. A lot of the guys here ask when I’m getting married. When I say “29 November,” I feel the warmth of your kisses, even though we’re hundreds of miles apart. I’m enclosing a list of things we’ve talked about, so we can make decisions together after my graduation.

 

 

articleJuly 11, 1969 – Dear Nate. President Nixon is talking about bringing the troops home from Viet Nam and ending the war (article enclosed). That makes me so happy, because then there will be NO chance you’ll have to go over there. I’m lying in the sun today, trying to get a tan, and the pen is slipping out of my hand because of all the suntan cream I’ve used. But I am a happy girl, so lucky to be in love with you. Zapo!

July 12, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The pace is picking up here. In two days we’ll practice small unit tactics until midnight. I’m a squad leader. There are 4 squad leaders in a platoon and each has charge of 11 men. Friday we’re staying up all night and going back to the barracks on Saturday at 8:00 PM. I’m writing you in my pup tent. I love you, future wife.

July 12, 1969 – Dear Nate. My friend Connie has been educating me about the “rhythm” method of birth control. She says I must have a 6 month chart with all the pertinent details written down. There’s only a little more than 4 months before we’re married, so I’d better start my chart. I’m not very confident about all this, but “the pill” everybody is talking about may not be the right thing for us, either. It wouldn’t be good to get p.g. right away, though, because I just want to be with you first, just the two of us, for a nice long time. I should find out what’s proper for a marriage medical exam with a doctor. Maybe I could get some advice at an appointment.

July 12, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I’m looking forward to our time together at camp. But first I want to talk to both of your parents, with and without you present. I really love and respect your parents and want them to be able to ask me any questions they want. I know I can be as honest with Meg’s folks as I can be with her, though perhaps with different vocabulary.

wedding-veilJuly 12, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m so excited about trying on wedding gowns! And I want a floor-length veil, too, although it will cost more money. Dad and I are going to have to sit down and talk about expenses. I want to know what I’m allowed to spend.

“Your adornment must not be merely external… let it be the hidden person of the heart… which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Young Love (#54)

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mother-in-law-letterBoth Nate’s parents and mine had taken up the charge to pull together a big wedding in just a few months. Nate’s mother called and invited me to come visit them when Nate returned from Army camp on July 25. I assured her I would.

We were confident God was leading us through each decision, and we knew everything would fall together on time. I hoped to move down to Champaign at the end of August to be near Nate as he went back to law school and was anxious to prepare a newlywed home for us in an apartment near the university. The fact that I didn’t have even one lead on a teaching job didn’t bother me. I was trusting that God would show us what to do.

July 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I wrote my folks about the rehearsal dinner and guest list. Please feel no hesitation in calling or writing mother. Don’t be reticent. She is very eager to know and be with her new daughter. Even visiting her overnight would be very nice and generous of you, if you want to make the 4 hour drive. You both could have a good girl talk.

July 9, 1969 – Dear Nate, my fabulous fiancé! You will never know how much all your letters mean to me. They have truly factored into the growth of our relationship. And now we have a written record of all of it! When I received your THREE letters today, I was alone in the apartment but found myself exclaiming aloud, “I love you! and “Oh, Nate!” I got really excited over the things you wrote. You’re an excellent writer, but on top of your words, the message they convey is even more wonderful! I always thank the Lord that He let us find each other.

in-topekaJuly 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I get flashes of you in my mind like flashbacks in a movie – smiling, laughing. You’re on my mind constantly, and in a flash your beauty is even more striking and breathtaking. I appreciate you more every minute. In one month we can celebrate your birthday, then mine 10 days later. Just think – someday we’ll celebrate our babies’ birthdays! Cake and diaper-changing during the same party!

July 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. When you write that you are secure at last about my reciprocal love for you, this makes me heart rejoice! At last we are on an equal level of love and trust and candor with each other. I love you so much that sometimes I feel like bursting inside! I’m so thankful to the Lord for allowing me to experience this depth of love. By the way, I bought a new dress to wear to your friend’s wedding. It’s mint green brocade with tiny baby-blue accents. You’ll love it. And I love YOU!

July 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I need you, and you need me. Fulfilling each other’s needs is a complete 24-hour task requiring every thought, word, and deed. I love you so much! I hope I can always please you. I am glad we’re waiting until 29 November for sex. It will mean more that way, even in our spiritual and emotional senses.

July 11, 1969 – Dear Nate. You are kind and generous to remember my birthday and to do so with such enthusiasm! Wow! And when you commented about diapers and birthday cake at the same party, I about fell off my chair with that thrilling realization! You will make an excellent father, aware of the needs of others as you are, and will be especially good with your own wife and children. You’re responsible and stable, and I know I’m VERY lucky I get to marry you!

“Joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.” (Psalm 146:5)