Category Archives: Parenting

Nelson’s journal 4/6/22  

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Baby Will is 22 days old, already going through his first life-crisis. His non-stop crying has pulled Nelson and Ann Sophie into the crisis, too, unsure about how to handle it. All three of them are worn out and frazzled, wondering if something could be seriously wrong.

Nelson still doesn’t feel good and is dealing with a variety of uncomfortable symptoms but is taking the recommended meds for a possible thyroid problem.

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April 5, 2022 

 5:30am. We almost went to the ER last night because of the constant unrest and crying in our little baby boy Will. Can’t settle, nothing works, seems like stomach pain. Maybe acid, GERD, or probably Colic like I had when I was young [for 3 months].

Thinking about it lasting for 12 weeks is hard to handle. It’s pretty much a full time job for the two of us, so the other one can get a break. When a baby is screaming, it’s hard to handle it for hours on end without a rest. Not to mention, I’m sure it’s even harder for him.

We are praying, Sherina [midwife, right] is coming over, and I dumped $50 last night on natural gas and other remedies. I just got him up, fed him about half of what I would like to have seen him eat, and put him back. Glad to even see that happen. Normally, he doesn’t go down easy. It’s at least an hour of trying to calm him and many attempts before anything really takes.

Maybe it’s spiritual warfare and there’s my thyroid sickness on top of it, which makes the whole thing just a little edgier. Meanwhile, my last sermon is this Sunday, and I haven’t decided on the passage yet.

I’ll be glad to put that season behind me at long last. I learned a lot of things, one of which is that I am not really a pastor at heart. The teaching, preaching thing, yes, but calling and checking up on people, listening, and spending time are things I do out of duty. Maybe it’s all this time in Kokua Crew and YWAM that’s burned me out.

Derek [left] comes in next week and we lend him the Miata. It’s great to be able to pay him back for all his generosity to me over the years.

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Today, I’m thankful for Will going back to bed so easily. I’m thankful for Annso and her positive attitude. I’m thankful for our place here in Kona for so long, and the position we have and all the trust the campus gives us. I’m thankful for our Kokua Crew and how nice they always are to us, and for progress with the thyroid. I pray for healing for me and for Will. I’ve always taken my health for granted, but now I realize what a gift being healthy really is.

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“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

Nelson’s journal 4/5/22

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Nelson’s baby Will is only three weeks old, but already he has brought some new and interesting challenges to his parents. Nelson gets up during the night along with Ann Sophie, cheering her on and sharing in the hard parts of trying to settle him when he’s crying for unknown reasons.

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April 5, 2022 

Thank you, Lord, that Will finally went to sleep. And with an empty stomach. He gets overtired and hard to settle. It’s a cycle that repeats itself. Raising a kid is pretty hard. Stretches you in lots of ways. I would say the hardest thing is having a problem without solutions.

A crying baby who is upset but has a clean diaper, a full belly, and no known reason to be upset. Won’t sleep, won’t settle, whether he’s held or left alone. We read books, pray, and do the best we can. I hesitate to even pray anymore because it seems when I do pray, the thing I’m asking for definitely doesn’t happen.

Does God answer prayers like, “Please help this baby to drink something,” ? I don’t know, but no one said it would be easy. We are thankful for him and he’s lovely when he’s chill, but that’s not very often. At least not for me.

Annso seems to have stretches during the day when he’s a little angel, but when I show up, he’s jacked up. Maybe he can sense the inner motor I have running and goes off that a little. Overall, we are loving it. The best part of the whole thing is Annso. She’s an angel and makes everything just a little bit better.

The church handoff is pretty much in stone. I’m so relieved about it. I have one more sermon this next week, then Bob Duffer will do the last one which falls on Easter Sunday. We did good. 6 years, at least 5 that Annso was with me. She stood with me the whole time and had more enthusiasm and optimism than I ever did.

Thank you Lord for giving me all these amazing blessings and I hope to be worthy of them, the adversity too.

Came back from HNL [Honolulu] yesterday after an appointment with the Endocrinologist, of which I didn’t know there even was such a thing. Apparently, lots of people have thyroid issues. Hopefully he can resolve mine for me. Pills, tests, levels, etc. No talk of changing diet, which I’m thankful for.

I go into those places assuming they will say to eliminate the things I love to eat and drink, but thankfully, he didn’t. Thank you Lord for Little Will, thank you for the staff team we have here now and for the relatively low key Kokua Crew gang who is here. Thank you for Ally who helps Annso through this time and takes her job. Thank you that you have a plan for the Summer when we hope to leave. I am grateful you give us time together and time off.

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“For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart.” (1 Samuel 1:27)

Nelson’s journal 4/4/22  

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Nelson’s constant coughing and skewed blood numbers have led doctors to pursue the possibility of thyroid disease: thyroiditis. There’s no endocrinologist on The Big Island where they live, so they’ve been waiting in line to see the one endocrinologist in Honolulu, on the island of Oahu. So island-hopping is the order of the day.

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April 4, 2022 

Today, I’ll fly to Honolulu, because an endocrinologist appointment opened up for me to get my thyroid looked at. It’s nice to have something different to do, but I don’t love leaving Annso and little Will alone. She’s more than capable, but it’s nice to be together. Good thing it’s just an over-and-back and no quarantine garbage to deal with. Thank you, Lord, for that.

We had a staff meeting in common room 5 just a few minutes ago with the 8 extenders, John, and I. They are good folks. I called the meeting to help Annso and I phase out of a few night-and-weekend things. When you’re single, you have the time, but now, time is just too valuable to sit in a meeting or at a small group for a whole evening, when you could be at home with your family.

Going to Honolulu is a trip, literally. I look forward to it only until I get there. The novelty of going to Starbucks and walking Waikiki or Ala Moana Mall have long since disappeared for me. Rob and I used to smoke and talk for hours on the benches outside the Animal Pit Starbucks.

We would talk about questions that are answered now, about women. Would we remarry? Where would we settle? And now we know those things. We were overage adolescents who became men, to some extent, and now we have families of our own. Those talks seem like ages ago now, 12 years actually, but they added up to this, which is great. I wouldn’t trade the life I have today for anything.

Sometimes a fleeting feeling comes across my brain if I hear a part of a Guns N Roses song, and the feeling is there—that nostalgic, “nothing can happen” feeling. The feeling of being young forever moves across for a fleeting second. But everything beyond that is just chasing after that first feeling, just as they say it’s like with the crack pipe. You never get that again, but the obsession is chased and sacrificed for, nonetheless.

After returning from Honolulu:

On the flight back, I read more in A Man’s Search For Meaning, and one of its main things is that when a person suffers, no matter how much he is pressed, as long as he decides to be brave, dignified, and unselfish, these cannot be taken from him, and therefore, freedom itself, cannot be stolen.

Suffering can be used, and the way a person handles it can be seen as useful, and therefore meaningful. And if a man sees his existence as meaningful, he keeps the will to live, despite terrible suffering that would take it from him. No one can take a person’s will to suffer meaningfully, unless they give it up on their own.

On a more down to earth note, Will just screams and screams. Apparently, while I was gone, things were great and he was sleeping every 3 hours like clockwork, but now that I’m back, he won’t sleep or eat. He’s a wreck. I think we should let him cry it out longer, but Annso goes in after 5 minutes. Who knows why things like this happen, and hazarding a guess is probably futile. The important thing is that we are unified, and that means I give in right now, and we do it her way.

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“Comfort one another. Agree with one another. Live in peace.” (2 Corinthians 13:11)