Category Archives: Parenting

Young Love (#48)

Posted on by

lesley-goreThe feminist movement was growing by leaps and bounds, telling women they didn’t need men. But I was thrilled to be fastening my life to a man. A popular song of the day was titled, “You don’t own me,” yet I loved hearing Nate call me “his Meg.” I never considered it an expression of “owning.” Instead it felt like protection and safety. While Lesley Gore sang, “Don’t tell me what to do… or say,” I was looking forward to a lifetime of asking Nate’s counsel on what to do and say. I knew I would need his stabilizing influence.

More to my liking was the song “Tenderly” from the 1940’s. “His arms opened wide and closed me inside.” I knew I would never tire of that.

July 1, 1969 – Dear Nate, the one I love. You are going to be the most fantastic of all husbands ever! I know that because you’re terrific already. You make such an effort ahead of time to please me, thinking of ways you might do that, and you inevitably hit the mark. You’re sensitive and sentimental, and I always dreamed of marrying a man who would share my joy over keepsakes, someone who would celebrate the little things along the way as well as the big things. Up until you, I hadn’t dated any guy like that. And now I get to marry him! I can’t adequately express in words what I feel –  my love, admiration, and thankfulness for you.

rotcJuly 1, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I had a long prayer time alone Sunday afternoon. I wish my words could convey how much closer I’ve felt to Christ through Scripture and the experiences of the last 3 weeks. With our lives and marriage based on Him, we can’t go wrong.

July 2, 1969 – Dear Nate. I think of you every minute and pray for you almost as often. Yesterday I headed for Wilmette and found Mom at home alone. While she mended clothes, we had one of those “talks” she claims we never have. She asked if we were determined to get married in November, and I didn’t hedge, saying we were. Then she surprised me with her words by saying it would all work out. But her expression said she was still upset. Again she told me her preference would be the summer of 1970, but I calmly explained our reasons for not wanting to wait. She remained unconvinced. I decided to stay for dinner, which pleased her and Dad, and I got a chance to talk privately with Dad then, too. But apparently he and Mom have been talking, and he said, “What’s the rush? Wouldn’t it be smarter to teach in Chicago one more year and save all that money?” Please continue to pray about their acceptance of all this. I know the Lord will iron it all out.

July 2, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you so much! This 4th of July you’ll get your ring. That will help convince your parents we’re doing the right thing. And we’ll spend 3 glorious days with each other… THE PROPOSAL!      Love forever, Nate

“Cast  your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)

Young Love (#46)

Posted on by

Things were heating up on the home front, a little more with each passing day. Nate and I were feeling bad about Mom but most of all were stressed by being separated as the crisis developed.

Meanwhile, I figured out that when Nate was finished with Army camp and came north to spend time with my folks, there would be no place for him to stay. They would have moved from their large home to a small one with only two bedrooms: one for them and one for my brother Tom. I had planned to stay with them, too, as before. But now what would we do?

missing-himJune 29, 1969 – Dear Nate, a beautiful person. Tonight as my thoughts turned to Ft. Riley and to my fiancé and his phone call early this morning, I suddenly realized how very much I love him and need him, and how I’m longing to be married to him. My eyes filled with tears and I was overwhelmed with love for the man I will marry in November. At that moment I wanted you next to me so bad that I got a stomach ache. You are so far away! I NEED to be with you.

 

June 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you, and have been thinking a wonderful thought – that you will be the mother of our children. Let’s name the first girl Karen Meg. What do you think? Well, after another 17 hours washing pots and pans, I should sleep now. Tomorrow we’re having a big inspection here. Lots of pressure and rushing around. I’m thankful that the July 4th weekend is a sure thing for us. Has the ring arrived yet?

momJune 29, 1969 – Dear Nate. Mary called me tonight, and we talked over an hour, steamrolling right past a planned get-together with my friend Kathy. Mom had called Mary, all upset about our choice to get married in November. She said I never came “home” except to drop things off or get things, and that she wished I would spend more time there. Since I had just been there to talk with them, that hurt… and I started to bawl on the phone to Mary. Oh how I wish you were here to help me through this! It makes me feel like not going home at all, but I know that would only turn into a bigger problem later on. I’ve got to keep trying to get closer to Mom, offering more chances to talk with her. I wish she would have told me this when I was just there, rather than calling Mary instead. But Mary was very encouraging tonight, telling me things will get better once I have the ring. She also said that the final decision about a wedding date is up to us, and the parents will eventually accept it and be positive. I wonder.

June 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I am so excited to see you soon and am thinking about you and our wedding non-stop. We have so many delicious things to talk about when you come! Thanks for being patient with this separation. I am going to be a husband worthy of you. I pray for us throughout every day. Our inspection is today, and I suppose the outcome will be based on some Army major’s whim.

June 29, 1969 – Dear Nate. Come August, you and I will have nowhere to stay together. My folks will have moved, and there won’t be room for us. I guess we’ll be homeless. And for me, jobless, too. Ugh.

“As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

Young Love (#45)

Posted on by

My mother threw us a curve ball when she told me she didn’t think we should marry in November after all. Nate and I had been progressing as if it was firm, but apparently she’d only been thinking “maybe.” Dad, as the middle man, tried to reason with both of us, but Mom kept bringing up “the way Mary and Bervin did it,” citing their long engagement as the better way.

Part of the problem was that Mom and Dad were about to make a big move, downsizing from their big house in east Wilmette to a small ranch in west Wilmette. Mom didn’t want to move, but Dad, ever practical, insisted it was time. They would move in July, and Mom thought it unwise to be packing, downsizing, redecorating the new house, and planning a wedding all in the same summer. She was right, of course, but two love-struck 20-somethings couldn’t see anything but each other.

marshall-fieldsJune 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m still upset over Mom’s negative attitude about a November wedding. But I have a strategy. I’ll offer to come and help with packing and getting rid of stuff. And in July, when I’m downtown looking for silver and china for the Marshall Field’s wedding registry, I’ll walk to Dad’s office and take him out to lunch. We’ll have a good conversation, and then he can convince Mom. I love him very much and am only beginning to appreciate him.

June 28, 1969 – Dearest Meg. There is some logic behind our choosing November, too. It will save double rent for a greater part of the school year as I continue in law school and you teach in Champaign. A November wedding also won’t conflict with law finals as a January wedding would, and the Thanksgiving holiday makes it easier for relatives and friends to be there. What sayest thou on all this, my love?

June 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. I say a November wedding, no matter what. I do realize our 4 parents have done a lot for us. They’ve put up with a lot, too. At least mine have. But once we’re married, we’ll invite both sets of them down to Champaign to show our appreciation. We will honor them as special guests.

June 28, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Remember, we have two sets of good parents, and we’ll love all 4 of them and eventually will convince them of our love, respect, and devotion for each other. I have the highest respect and love for your mother and father, and for mine. I know it’ll all work out in the end. I wish I could be there with you to help convince them. But this old Army = a deferment = law school = responsibility and ambition. We’ll talk deeply into this when you come.

June 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. Did I tell you I went to court on the Corvette? The two thieves got a month’s continuance on their case, although I won’t have to reappear. But both of them are out on bond, and I’m really upset that they might return to my street to do havoc on my car… or maybe on me! I’ll be glad when they get convicted and locked up! Gee, I’m scared. It was hard to look at them. The two policemen told me not to worry, but how do they know? One of the guys was charged with battery before, and drugs.

June 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. It was wonderful to talk with you on the phone last night. You musn’t worry about those two guys. They wouldn’t dare repeat their crime.

loving-comfort

You can be absolutely sure of my complete attention, understanding, and love. I know you realize this now. Nothing could ever convince me I don’t love you, and my love and patience will always be there… to comfort you. I love you, Meg.

“The Spirit helps us in our weakness.” (Romans 8:26)