Category Archives: Parenting

Young Love (#29)

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hard-at-workAlthough Nate’s schedule in law school was set in stone for the next couple of years, mine was in limbo. The teacher shortage in Chicago (allowing me to teach without certification) was ending, and my job was in jeopardy. Both Nate and I were frustrated by the long distance between us, and we decided to explore a possible teaching job for me in Champaign.

One problem looming was that our 4 parents were unaware of how fast we were moving. Most of my friends hadn’t even met Nate, and vice versa for him. We hoped none of this would slow us down, but I got an inkling it would when I told Mom. One evening I drove to Wilmette, and in a quiet moment I said, “I’ve decided to marry Nate Nyman.”

She balked… and I knew I should have led up to it more gently. But the cat was out of the bag, so I kept going. “We’re thinking about getting engaged this Christmas and married next summer.”

Mom’s face showed she was scrambling for a reason why that shouldn’t happen. I knew she considered it to be too soon. But I had no intention of bending to anything she would say and simply thought, “She’ll come around.”

May 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I want to earn all the money for your ring in tough, sweaty jobs (the Army’s summer camp and the factory!). How’s that for being romantic? If the 8 months before Christmas present no blocks (and I know they won’t), we’ll be formally engaged. We will declare to the public what we know in our hearts and believe to be true.

May 10, 1969 – Dear Nate. Yesterday I went to the Chicago Board of Education and discovered I need one more course before I can be certified to teach again in Chicago. I’m sure I have enough courses to get certified in the state, though, and to teach in Champaign or Urbana. Our principal met with us (the uncertified teachers) and said we should start looking for other jobs. I’m glad you and I talked about this. Thanks for helping me by sending the addresses for the 2 Boards of Ed there. I’ve written them both for info and employment possibilities.

phoneMay 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you so much for your wonderful call. I love to hear you talk, and especially sweet is your giggle when I tell you how beautiful and sexy you are. I love you very, very much! After your call I was asleep when one of my men woke me out of my dreams of you, needing me to let him in his room.

 

mary-and-bervinMay 11, 1969 – Dear Nate. I spent all of last evening with Mary and Bervin, the most fantastic of relatives, asking them questions about decisions they made before they got engaged. But their circumstances and ours are quite different. They got to see each other every day for 2 years. They do support us, though, as long as we’re sure, and said they are positively impressed with you. They mentioned how important it was to get family approval all around, and we both already want that… though I know we don’t have it yet. And here’s what I’m wondering. Do you think we could get married in January?

May 11, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I want to tell you how pleased I am with your idea about a January marriage! If you started the year here as a teacher and I got an extra job (and maybe a loan), I’m certain we could afford it. If you come down here to work, we should get engaged before you come. July or August of this summer? From July to January is a 5 or 6 month engagement (enough to prove to the world you’re not pregnant).

“God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

Obituary of Mary Peterson

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obit-picMary Ellen (Johnson) Peterson, much loved wife of Bervin C. Peterson, was welcomed home to Jesus’ arms on September 24, 2016, at the age of 72. She was a woman of faith who loved the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Mary was born on December 8, 1943, to the late Carl and Evelyn (nee James) Johnson of Chicago and was raised in Wilmette, IL. She attended New Trier High School, followed by North Park College and Swedish Covenant School of Nursing (BSN, RN) where she worked as a head nurse before retiring to raise a family.

She considered herself privileged to be a stay-at-home mom in Northbrook where she embraced the art of homemaking and filled her home with love throughout 49 years of marriage. She and Bervin welcomed Luke (Emily), Julia (Drew), Karl, Andrew (Kimberly), Johanna (Drew), Stina (Evan), and Marta.

The constant thread running through Mary’s life was the Moody Church in Chicago, where she accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior in Sunday school as a nine-year-old. Later she served as a teacher in that Sunday school, a youth sponsor alongside her husband, the nursery committee chairwoman, a deaconess, and a mentor of young mothers in the Mom to Mom ministry. She also worked in the By the Hand Club for Kids, tutoring children in need, served with the Caris Crisis Pregnancy Center, and was in the leadership of Community Bible Study in Arlington Heights for 25 years.

Mary was a champion at hospitality, frequently hosting family gatherings, bridal and baby showers, prayer groups, Bible studies, and any other get-togethers looking for a place to meet. She was active with her children and grandchildren until the week before she died, welcoming the cleanup that inevitably followed time with these young children. She was always up for games, puzzles, or trips to the family’s home in Bethany Beach, Michigan, to play at the beach. Mary was never without a hug or word of encouragement for others – or maybe just gum and candy for those children and grandchildren she loved so much, who loved her right back.

Mary lived by the credo that tending to the needs of others was more important than tending to herself, and she did so every day. She is survived by her husband, her 7 children, 11 grandchildren with a 12th due in 2017, her sister Margaret (the late Nate Nyman), brother Tom Johnson (Leslie Jones) and many dear cousins, nieces, and nephews.

Family and friends are invited to gather on Wednesday, September 28, for visitation at 10:00 and the funeral service at 11:00, at Moody Church (1630 N. Clark St, Chicago, IL 60614). Interment will be at Rosehill Cemetery (5800 North Ravenswood Ave, Chicago, IL 60660)

In lieu of flowers, charitable donations may be made to Moody Church or Community Bible Study (790 Stout Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80921).

God’s Good Gift

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What would it feel like to be the center of God’s personal attention, receiving a really good gift from him? Yesterday we found out.

Two days ago, as Mary continued to rest, her oldest grandchildren went through the excruciating but important process of saying goodbye to the grandma they adore. One read a special letter she’d written for that moment. Another climbed into bed next to Mary, holding onto her as he recited a Scripture passage from memory.

mary-and-rubyBut dear little Ruby, almost inconsolable, was overcome with the sobs of a broken heart as she hugged her grandma goodbye. Even after she’d left the bedroom, her crying continued.

It had been a rough period in Ruby’s seven-year-old life. First, the family had had to put down one of their two beloved horses due to old age and health problems. Ruby suffered during that difficult goodbye. Then she learned a new baby was on the way, and she was sure it was going to be just one more boy, stacking the gender-deck against her – their 4 to her 1.

And then, worst of all, her grandma’s cancer began to speed up, making it harder for Ruby to spend time with her. How does a 2nd grader cope with such disappointment and stress? She’s too old to be unaware and too young to understand.

Just then, her parents got an idea. Maybe if she found out she would be getting a baby sister instead of another brother, she’d be able to focus on that arrival (in February) rather than her grandma’s departure (very soon).

Of course there was no guarantee it was a girl, but at least there was a 50/50 chance. So her mom, Jo, called for an ultrasound appointment. “How soon can you fit us in?”

Within hours Jo, her husband Drew, and their two oldest, Beck (9) and Ruby, were in the examining room. When they left the hospital, the answer to their gender-question was written on a white card, and none of them knew what it said.

After they’d made their way to Dairy Queen and were enjoying ice cream, Jo handed the closed card to Beck and Ruby. “How about if you tell us which it will be?” she said. And the children took the card, turned around for privacy, and opened it.

Jo and Drew knew they were taking a chance. What if it turned out to be yet another brother for Ruby? Would she dissolve in sobs? Would it make things worse?

img_4129But when Ruby turned around and looked at her mom, she didn’t have to say a word. The answer was written all over her face.  A girl!

This time it was Daddy who was weeping with his awareness of the Lord’s fantastic timing of this special gift. Though Ruby’s grandma will soon be gone, a baby sister will soon be here.

But God wasn’t finished even yet.

Yesterday evening, Jo sat next to her own mom, Mary, in her dimly-lit bedroom, hoping she would be able to take in the good news about a little granddaughter coming. When she told the story, Mary broke into a broad grin. Then, with heavy eyes half-closed, she softly said, “Great… Congratulations!” And these turned out to be her last spoken words.

img_4131The pink rose Jo left on the nightstand is a steady reminder to Mary and all of us that God sure does give good gifts.

“If you, then…. know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11)