Category Archives: Parenting

Mary’s Light

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The days before someone moves from earth to heaven are sacred ones, and Mary is in the middle of this remarkable time. Because she is, her family is there, too. God’s close presence is evident in her calm, quiet demeanor, and the rest of us are taking our cues from her. Coming close to the most spectacular life-event she will ever experience has not unnerved her at all. That’s because she’s completely ready.

Although Mary has become quiet and spends most of her time sleeping, she still has a will to greet her loved ones with a gentle smile when they enter the room, giving each a few loving words as they do. She’s in no pain and needs meds only to hold off nausea and get solid sleep at night. But even as her body loses its battle with disease, her face grows more beautiful by the day.

Mary’s grown children, nieces, and nephews have been a steady presence, making meals, doing laundry, and encouraging one another. But her 11 grandchildren have been kept at bay. That’s because most are very young, and little people bring noise, commotion, and a general hubbub.

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But that hasn’t stopped these grands from sending a stream of words and drawings to encourage their grandma, the older ones describing in words what she means to them. As this person whom they adore so much becomes quieter, their messages of love become louder. And more descriptive:

  • You are my hero.
  • I love how you love candy and gum.
  • I love all the things you do and the person you are.
  • You have an amazing, godly heart that leads people to God.
  • You have all the right in the world to freak out, but you are calm and faithful.
  • In my mind you are super-grandma.
  • You make me think anything is possible. You make me want to run a 10,000 mile run, and I hate running!
  • Even though your troubles are big, you still are positive and love others and God.
  • Your heart is filled with joy, and you spread that joy to me.
  • You love when you are at your darkest days.
  • I love how you love the game of baseball.
  • You are very generous.
  • I will always and forever love you, even if you’re not here.
  • You’ve made me a strong Christian.
  • You mean so, so, so, so, so, so, soooo much to me.
  • You’ve been a light in the world, showing all the traits of a godly woman.
  • God has used you in so many ways in his plan.
  • You like to give gum to people from your car of wonders.
  • I will never, ever stop loving you.

And one more, my personal favorite:

  • Grandma, you are like a flashlight in a world full of darkness.

This grandmother has done a good job “shining for the Lord” in front of her grands, and they’ve all seen this light in her. A while back she told me that her greatest concern in leaving them is not being able to continue coaxing them toward Jesus.

One of her older grandchildren wrote out Isaiah 14:27 for her, which says nothing can stop God’s plan for a person’s life. And apparently his plan is that Mary’s life, including her godly glow as a grandma, will soon end. Yet her influence will shine for decades to come.

When Mary was asked if she had any prayer requests, her whispered answer was consistent with the rest of her life: “Pray that I’ll finish strong and give all the glory to God,” a couple of brightly shining requests.

“Prove yourself to be blameless and guileless, innocent and uncontaminated…. in a generation among whom you are seen as a bright [flash] light in a world of darkness.” (Philippians 2:15, loosely translated from the Amplified version)

Meeting a Need

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I love my kitchen sink. It’s flush with the countertop, making it easy to wipe surface debris straight toward the disposal. It’s deep, it’s double, and best of all, it’s a significant upgrade from the sink I had when we lived in Illinois.

IMG_4042That sink was only 7” deep (barely big enough for a baby’s bottom), and despite being stainless steel, it was stained…. and dark with age. I hated that sink – but how well I remember the day it went from low-status to high, in one instant.

It had been been a rough day for me with a house full of children and their endless demands, bookended by a rebelling teen and an irritable 9-month-old.

Since the baby’s fussing wouldn’t let me make dinner, I put her in a backpack, trying to ignore her kicks-to-the-kidneys as she objected to being confined. That’s when I saw a fresh batch of scratches on my old stainless sink.

Immediately the accumulated frustrations of the day morphed into hot anger as I tried to guess which one of my children had dared to vandalize my already-pathetic sink. Grabbing the dish rag and attempting to rub away the scratches, I realized they were actually small letters. The vandal, whoever it was, had stood at the sink and carved…. “I love Mom.”

Instantly my anger dissolved in a deep sigh. I set the rag aside and traced the scratchy words with my finger. As the poignant message flowed into me, the accumulated tensions of the day flowed out.

Christians often say, “God will meet our needs.” That can sound generic, but when push comes to shove (as it had for me that day), he comes through in some very clever ways. Those small scratched words helped me in a way nothing else could have in that high-stress moment. And the comfort they gave lasted far longer than just that day.

Those three words continued to be an ongoing encouragement through 11 more years of working at that old sink. And when I found out the vandal had been my rebelling teen, it meant all the more. Though he couldn’t say it out loud back then, he’d found a way to let me know that through all our ups and downs, he still loved me.

IMG_4034Eventually we remodeled our 20-year-old kitchen, and the old sink was removed. But as I work in my current kitchen, I’m always reminded of the scratched words that ministered to me from an old “stainless” sink.

My God will supply every need of yours…. (Philippians 4:19)

Wall-Art

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Years ago, Nate and I invited a couple over for dinner, friends since college. Through the course of the evening, we spent time in the kitchen, dining room, and living room, and as they were leaving the husband said, “You know, I just noticed something. The only thing hanging on your walls is your family. It’s all pictures of kids!”

Nate and I laughed and said something like, “And that’s some pretty valuable wall-art.”

Most parents enjoy showing off their children with photos throughout the house, and we were no exception. But what does a parent do when the group expands as grandchildren come along? Eventually we either take down the pictures of our own kids to make way for our grands, or we move to a house with more wall space.

As our family has increased, I’ve decided to solve the space problem by putting all my grandchildren into one frame with multiple openings. First it was 4 of them, then 6, and then 8, which meant buying a larger picture frame every year or two – a happy task.

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When purchasing my most recent frame, though, I got smart. As my 10th grandchild was being announced, I bought a frame with 12 openings, trying to get ahead of the game. My strategy paid off as grandchild #11 was announced less than a year later. But there was still one opening left.

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Recently, we were surprised with the thrilling news that another little face would, indeed, by joining the other 11 in that frame. Katy and Hans will be sending photos of a new baby-Nyman in January, completing the set of 12.

I look at these happy faces many times each day, wondering how their lives will go…. and also wondering where I’ll find a frame with 13 or 14 openings, if needed! But I thank God for each one and have committed to praying for them all, claiming glorious promises over them, even those yet unborn.

For example: “I pray that you, Lord, would never be far from these children. Be their strength, and always go quickly to help them.” (Psalm 22:19)

And another: “May each one trust in you, Lord, at all times and feel free to pour out their hearts to you, understanding that you are their refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

One more: “Create pure hearts within each one, O God, and continually renew steadfast spirits within them.” (Psalm 51:10)

Gazing at my wall-art of grandchildren brings them close to me, even when they’re miles away. But praying for them does something even better than that. It transports us all into God’s throne room, a supernatural togetherness like no other.

So they are together in my wall-art, together in God’s hands, and together in my heart.

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)