Who, What and When

Posted on February 25, 2015 by Margaret

One of the problems of having 7 children is trying to remember who I told what, when.

(Left to right: Nelson, Hans, Lars, Klaus; Linnea, Louisa, Birgitta)

For example, I might be planning a trip and tell one of my children about it as we’re conversing in my kitchen: “On such-and-such a date, I’m going to visit so-and-so.”

Then, while texting with another child later that day, I might send a similar message. The next day I might have a phone conversation with another one and say the same. Gradually the word spreads: “On such-and-such a date, Mom’s going to visit so-and-so.”

But then, after I’ve gone, sure as shootin’ one of my grown kids will say, “Where’s Mom? She hasn’t been home for 2 days!” That’s when a sibling will say, “Don’t you remember? She went on a trip.” Then the uninformed will respond with, “She never told me.”

That’s when one of the others will say, “Well, she told me 3 times.”

These days, iPhones make group-informing easier, but for many years remembering to let all 7 adult children know my plans was a chronic problem. Occasionally one of them would actually miss a family gathering because, “No one told me!” It was an awful dilemma.

I failed at communicating like this again recently, and today as I was chastising myself, God comforted me by reminding me of something special: “Remember, I’ll never do that to you.”

One of the Lord’s awesome characteristics is that he relates to each of his children one-on-one every time he wants to communicate something. It’s as if each of us is an only child, his only child. But that isn’t all.

Simultaneously, while relating to one of us at a time, he’s also keeping track of his personal interactions with every person who lives on the earth. And it doesn’t stop there, because he’s also one-on-one with those who’ve died and are already living in Paradise with him… from the first-ever man and woman through to today.

Thus, the total number of his one-on-one relationships is astronomical, yet he is continually keeping careful track of each one, what he’s told, what he hasn’t.

My 7 children have good reason to wonder if they’re missing out on something I’ve told the others but not them. But God’s children don’t ever have to feel insecure about that. He’ll never fail to let us know everything we need to know.

This is reassuring, especially when I’m waiting to hear from him and don’t. I can be encouraged by picturing my Heavenly Parent looking me straight in the eyes and telling me the important stuff. And if I still have lingering questions or am craving more info, I should remember that I don’t have it only because I don’t yet need it. He’ll tell me when his timetable says he should.

He won’t ever forget to inform me. And if I miss the details, it’ll only be because I didn’t remember what he already said.

“Then I remembered what the Lord had said.” (Acts 11:16)

Traveling Light…. and Light-hearted

Posted on February 24, 2015 by Margaret

Today I dropped Nelson off at a train with a snow-packed underside and steps so ice-encrusted the conductor had to chip and shovel before letting anyone off or on.

A train trip to Chicago’s O’Hare Airport is the first leg of Nelson’s convoluted 3 day journey that will land him in north India. As he walked toward the platform, I said, “You look like a seasoned traveler.” In his cap and carefully-chosen, layered clothes, his expert planning would efficiently make the transition from Michigan’s single-digit cold to India’s warmth. His only luggage for many months was a backpack.

With a double blast from the diesel engine, he was gone.

Though I stood by my car waving till he was out of sight, once behind the wheel again, I burst into tears. My heart is genuinely joyful for Nelson’s departure for one reason: his steps have been specifically directed by God. But my emotions were objecting.

Leaning toward the facts, I reminded myself that the Lord has carefully led Nelson to this day. Here are just two of the many ways we knew that:

1. After having applied for a visa to India and wondering whether or not it would come through, Nelson was cleaning out some old files and came across a folder of foreign paper money. And though he has traveled extensively in more than a dozen countries, the only money in the file was rupees from India.

2. He applied for a 10 year, multiple-entry visa but was mentally prepared for something much less, maybe a 90 day visa with limited entry. Or even a 30 day with one entry. But the 10 year visa came through on exactly the day he’d expected it.

There were other indications this was God’s plan for Nelson, too, so as my tears trickled, I reminded myself of the privilege of releasing this son to do the work he’s been called to do. And I pictured my Aunt Joyce sitting next to me in the car telling me to stop crying and thank God for all the blessings of being Nelson’s mother.

His instruction is to give thanks no matter what’s going on around us, plus or minus. A heart of gratitude is to be grounded in the Lord, not in how we feel at any given moment. And his blessing covers everything from eternal salvation to a pair of warm gloves. Not even the saddest circumstances are devoid of something for which to be thankful.

As for counting the blessings of being Nelson’s mother, at the top of my list was having a son whose highest priority is to follow God’s will for his life. That led me to be thankful he boarded the train. Had Nelson seen my tears and then cancelled his trip, I would have been disappointed…. and so would God.

Besides, by the time I got home from the station, my blessing-list was long, and my tears were long-gone.

“A wide door for effective work has opened to me.” (1 Corinthians 16:9)

Releasing or Resisting?

Posted on February 23, 2015 by Margaret

Those of us who love being parents often have trouble letting go of our children when the time comes. Whether that’s sending them off to kindergarten, college, or marriage, the goodbyes always include a twinge of sadness (and sometimes a deluge of tears). As we practice at parting ways, though, we get better at it. Goodbyes may never be completely painless, but they can become less difficult.

Where we run into trouble is when we cling too tightly. As James Dobson often said, a parent’s most important task is to work themselves out of a job. Though we’ll always be the mom or dad, active parenting ought always to be on the decrease. If we refuse to release them, everything goes haywire.

I well remember my mentor, Aunt Joyce, going through this process when her daughter and son-in-law, along with two of her grandchildren, left for a distant mission field. My aunt told me how she wrestled with the Lord over his plan to “take them away” like that. Though she had released her daughter at the appropriate times along the way, this additional letting go seemed too much.

She described how the Lord worked with her to give her a new perspective. And when she came out the other side, she understood that letting go of her daughter and family meant she was participating in the Great Commission. By releasing rather than resisting, she was indirectly helping to spread the Gospel to the nations.

After that, though the goodbyes continued to be emotional, her changed perspective helped her. Lovingly letting go was the work God gave her to do, and by accepting the assignment, she got to participate in missions, too.

As I was raising 7 children, I never dreamed how many goodbyes there would be. The most difficult ones have been those involving thousands of miles and months of time. But in almost every case, those have been in the realm of missions, and remembering my mentor’s words has strengthened me to the task.

Tomorrow I’ll say goodbye to my firstborn once again as he heads for his next assignment with Youth with a Mission. This time his destination is 7342 miles from home, literally on the other side of the globe. When it’s noon for me, it will be midnight for him.

Though I won’t see him for several months, my job as his mother is the same as my aunt’s was: to release him with my enthusiastic blessing. God has one purpose in it for him and a different one for me. And both of us want to take advantage of what those are.