Category Archives: Parenting

Taking the Lead

Posted on by

Last week I enjoyed writing about my mom, thankful for the upright heritage she left behind. Judging by worldly standards, Mom died an old lady of 92 who never worked outside her home or accomplished anything of note. Strangers might have said, “Hers was a wasted life.”

 Fun-loving MomBut those of us who knew her, know otherwise. Before Mom died, we used to joke she’d have a big funeral, and we were right. The crowds came in droves, filling the large room where her body lay, spilling out into the halls and out the front door. The funeral director came running just before the service began with alarm on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me!” he said.

What he meant was, “Why didn’t you tell me this woman was popular? We don’t usually see this for old ladies like her!”

As we greeted guests, Mary and I noticed how most were from the generations behind Mom, people our age and younger. These were the “children” she’d loved and influenced throughout her life, loving all of them as her own. Rather than wasting her life, she’d used it for lofty purposes, leaving footprints that led them all to Jesus.

Here’s an important question for each of us still marching along on this side of our funerals: “Where will my footprints lead?”

FootprintsSteve Green’s song “Find Us Faithful” says,

“As those who’ve gone before us,
Let us leave to those behind us
 The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives.”

God gives us a simple but effective way to leave footprints others will find it worthwhile to follow: just track the steps of Jesus.

IMom and Linnin Mom’s last year of life, she continually had her nose in a Bible. One day I asked if she’d looked at the biography of Julia Child I’d just given her, or her new book about hymn authors. She said, “Honey, I don’t have any time for those. I’m studying for my finals.”

Despite not owning a trophy case or being written up in periodicals, Mom finished well.

“After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we’ve left behind,
 May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
 Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find.” (Steve Green)

“God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.” (1 Peter 2:21)

Marking Time

Posted on by

My October calendar looks like party-central: eight birthdays, two anniversaries, one birth (yesterday’s blog), two bon voyage parties, and one doggie birthday.

???????????????????????????????A special birthday this past weekend belonged to little Emerald as she turned two. She’s at that wonderful age of discovery (including that fire is hot!), and is half baby and half runaround-kid. Most delightful to witness is her language development and her gradual improvement in conversing with the adults in her life.

Never mind that we don’t understand most of what she says. Her voice inflection is just like ours, and eventually we’ll figure out what she’s talking about!

Emerald isn’t the only one making significant progress. It’s been a long two years for Birgitta as a single mom, since she’s trying to do full time college, part time jobs, and full time mothering.

When I think of her diligence in managing her many commitments, I’m reminded of the Scripture verse in Isaiah that tells us the best way to accomplish things is “line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little.” (28:10) That’s the way Birgitta is getting it all done, by making wise use of every hour of every day.

During Emerald’s party we reminisced about one year ago on her first birthday and also two years back on her day of birth. Of course she’s made dramatic leaps in her development between those milestones as all babies do, but pausing to think about them was a healthy exercise for all of us older party guests.

???????????????????????????????Life happens one year at a time but more importantly, one minute at a time. The sooner we become conscious of that and then of using our minutes wisely, the better off we’ll be. Not that we shouldn’t relax or party with some of those minutes, but the scriptural principle is that we’re to number our days… and hours.

I’ve learned a great deal by observing Emerald, but even more by watching her mommy. If we set wise goals and inch toward them day by day (line on line), then after a year has passed, significant progress will have been made.

One of my personal goals for the coming days is to pay closer attention to my conversations with Emerald. Maybe that way I’ll eventually figure out what in the world we’re talking about.

First thing in the morning, [a good woman] dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, and is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. (Proverbs 31:15,18 – The Message)

The Upshot of Shots

Posted on by

New babyWhen newborns come into the world, they arrive with a clean slate which usually includes freedom from disease. We parents immediately jump in to keep it that way by yo-yo-ing back and forth to the pediatrician until our children virtually hate their doctor. That’s because every appointment includes a vaccination.

All 7 of our kids had the same pediatrician, a wise, gentle man we grew to love as a personal friend. The kids would ask, “Am I having a shot today?”

And he’d say, “No. Just a vaccination.”

Splitting medical hairs didn’t do much to cheer them, but by kindergarten, 99% of all needle-visits were over. The upshot of all their shots was freedom from the painful diseases former generations had to experience.

VaccinationsAs for me, I went decades without any shots, but the upcoming illnesses of old age are just ahead, and new vaccines can prevent some of them. One malady I’d like to avoid is shingles, a painful skin rash that can hang on for months.

Even though doctors are promoting the vaccine for folks over 60, it’s not 100% effective. But a vaccinated person who does get shingles won’t suffer the same intensity of pain.

Mom had shingles the year before she died, and nothing could soothe the fiery pain on her neck and scalp. Shingles can even travel into ears and eyes, causing permanent damage. So I decided to roll up my sleeve and take my poke.

Too bad there’s not an inoculation for sorrow and heartache. We could all bop through life wearing big grins, and worries would be a thing of the past. No more middle-of-the-night anxieties or games of what-if. Happy thoughts would dominate, and contentment would be much easier to find.

The only problem would be our numbness. Being protected from the negatives would mean being deadened to the positives, too. If we couldn’t feel sadness, how could we feel happiness? Each human emotion needs its counterbalance.

On the day Nate died, all of us suffered raw pain. But would we rather not have had him at all? No, because that would have eliminated thousands of joy-filled days.

Thinking of this dilemma in a biblical way, if we were able to opt out of sorrow, we’d miss God’s special promises to the brokenhearted. If we didn’t experience affliction, we’d miss his deliverance. If we didn’t suffer guilt over sin, we’d never know the relief of forgiveness.

Even Jesus wasn’t inoculated against sorrow. If he hadn’t willingly been crushed for us, we wouldn’t now have access to spiritual healing.

So, if a vaccination against heartache did exist, we probably shouldn’t get in line for it. Just think of the counter-balancing blessings we’d have to miss.

Jesus said, “You may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)