Category Archives: Parenting

It’s what it is.

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My granddaughter Emerald is almost two years old and is, like most little ones her age, learning to talk. This is an especially delightful time as those of us listening can tell her little mind is working hard to communicate. One of Emerald’s charming inclinations is to substitute “sh” for “s” :

  • Happy times.balls are “ball-sh”
  • boots are “boo-sh”
  • salt is “shawlt”
  • more is “mo-sh”
  • boogers (she just had a cold) are “booger-sh”

She also practices language by trying to repeat what we say, so she says, “I hep you!” but really means, “I need your help!”

Little by little a toddler adds to her vocabulary and usage by listening to those around her and matching up words with tone of voice, simultaneous action, verbal pitch, and even accompanying moods. Little ones are keen observers of the world around them, and they all have a passionate desire to “be like us.”

ThomasA couple of weeks ago our son Hans and his family visited from England. His wife and four young children all have beautiful British accents, and I watched Emerald watching them. Four-year-old Thomas loved approaching her, bending to her level, cupping his hands around her face and saying, “Hello!” With his sweet accent it came out, “Heh-lau.” Within one day, Emerald was approaching others saying, “Heh-lau” in a perfect mimic.

I remember belonging to a diet group 20 years ago when one of the ladies asked to speak to the group. With tears she told the tale of her three-year-old’s penchant for swearing, listing the “blue” words he liberally used in their home, coupled with lots of anger. “I just can’t stop him!” she wailed. “It’s awful!”

Of course he wasn’t using any words he hadn’t first heard, and that woman’s best move would have been to find out (and hopefully change) what her son was hearing.

All of us take on the characteristics of whomever we hang with, not just linguistically but in other respects, too. That makes choosing a spouse, for example, a heavy-weight decision, and it’s the reason most parents safeguard their children with diligence. Most of all, though, we should each set a guard in front of ourselves.

All of us should want to be careful how we act, what we say, and where we go, because like it or not, we’re being watched. Most importantly, God is watching. So if we consistently work to make choices that please him, he will pour out blessing in abundance, on us and on those watching. And that includes little children who want to “be just like us.”

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Thanks for praying about my second-to-last chemo tomorrow. Pray they’ll find a good vein without a problem. (My arms are rebelling.)
  2. Pray against flu-like symptoms (fever and achiness) that started after last week’s infusion.

Come and eat!

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Wise women have said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I believe it.

Lois cooks.When Nate and I got married, he came to me from a childhood of his mother’s creative cooking, a woman with a lavish cook book collection that she used daily. As a newlywed, I realized I’d have to learn to cook if I was going to make my man happy.

Fortunately there was an effective buffer between Lois’ high-class dinners and my incompetence in the kitchen: university food.

Nate’s memory of those childhood meals dimmed as he ate in college dining halls from 1963 until we married in 1969, and his expectations were wonderfully low.

Dining hallAfter 40 years of cooking thousands of meals for him, I remember only one word of criticism. I’d made a teriyaki stir fry, one of his favorites, but the sauce had turned out thin. So I used a tip from Mom, adding a bit of corn starch to thicken the juices.

When Nate came to the table, he saw what we were having and said, “Mmmmm. Stir fry!”

We all sat down, heaped food on our plates and dug in. Nate had already eaten three forkfuls by the time I took my first. “My word!” I said. “What’s wrong with this stuff?”

That’s when Nate’s criticism came. “I kept trying, because I couldn’t believe it tasted so awful. What did you do?”

“I have no idea,” I said, walking my plate toward the disposal. That’s when I noticed I’d inadvertently “thickened” with baking soda instead of corn starch. After we’d all enjoyed frozen pizza, we had a good laugh over my culinary error.

Although I never did become a skilled cook, I did learn one valuable principle preparing meals for a big family each day. More important than flavor, smell, ingredients, or presentation was volume. Everyone was happier with a full stomach, and filling them up became my #1 priority. Not having enough was worse than having only some of a perfectly balanced meal.

Feasting on the WordThis principle works well with spiritual eating, too. We can hold out for a gourmet feast: a peaceful place to read the Bible, a blank notebook, a pen that works, and a set of commentaries. We can wait to pray until we’re sure of uninterrupted time. But if we do, we’ll always be on the edge of spiritual starvation.

God is sure to deliver soul-food-nourishment as our appetites for him grow. And as long as we continue to eat with him, he’ll make sure there’s always enough.

Scripture refers to its words as milk (for beginners) and meat (for the more advanced) and encourages us to taste it. So apparently the old adage does have some truth to it: the way to a person’s true heart is indeed through the stomach.

“Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.” (John 6:27)

Letting Go

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Most parents face a bit of angst when it comes time to let a child go. The first really big “go” is off to college, a tough goodbye for most of us. But it helps to recognize we’ve been letting go in small ways during the 18 years leading up to that, each one a bit of training for the bigger go-moments.

The first is letting go of our babe-in-arms, encouraging him/her to grow into a toddler who prefers to walk. Little by little they go – to the church nursery, preschool, kindergarten, summer camp, and we find ourselves on the outside looking in. As time passes, they go farther and farther from us, the natural order of things. But they aren’t the only ones we have to let go of.

We also say goodbye to parents, mentors, friends, pastors and others. Each positive relationship that ends includes a negative go-moment. But the old expression, “When God closes a door, he opens a window,” is true. Again and again he shows us that letting go of one thing brings us to something new.

Two Ton BakerWhen I was a grade-schooler in the 1950’s, I loved a 350-pound TV personality who called himself Two-Ton Baker. We became friends through a tiny, round screen, because Two-Ton loved kids. Occasionally he’d have one on his show, and the child was always invited to grab a handful of candy from a giant glass jar. But a clenched fist of goodies could never fit back through the small opening, requiring him/her to let some of the candy go to pull out of the jar.

The same thing happens when we hold onto someone or something after it’s time to let go. Our loss seems greater the tighter we cling. By hanging on, we lose the chance for a positive send-off, which is like losing all the candy, not just a bit of it.

There are some go-moments, though, that just never go well: when they’re next to a casket. The slam of that closed door really hurts. A window may be opening, but we can’t see it through our tears.

Lonely JesusGod knows how difficult it is to let go. He let go of Jesus for 33 years after they’d been joined in a closeness we can’t comprehend. And Jesus let go of his Father while simultaneously imposing human limitations on himself. He also let go of royalty and riches to live in poverty. The reason? Love for us.

Letting go is always emotionally draining. For a Christian who lets go of a loved one through death, however, the emotional pain will one day abruptly end.  The separation is only temporary, just as it was for God the Father and God the Son.

They endured. We can endure.

Because some day all our go-moments will be gathered into one eternal coming-together.

“God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh.” (Luke 6:21)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Thanks for prayers about tomorrow’s chemo infusion, for a good vein and no nausea.
  2. Praise God this will be #16 of 18 infusions!