The Real Reason

Posted on October 6, 2013 by Margaret

My last 24 hours have been spent in the company of 6 women with whom I’ve been friends for more than half my life. Though the 7 of us are quite different (ages, interests, abilities, passions), God brought us together for a multitude of reasons:

As a support system through trouble
To challenge one another spiritually
For good, old-fashioned fun
To learn from each others’ wisdom

This morning in our radio-church time together, the Scripture centered on a verse in 2 Corinthians that speaks to the frustrations of physical decline, something we 60-plus “girls” are well aware of (v. 4:16). But that downward spiral was countered with an uplifting truth: inwardly we can be renewed day-by-day through our relationship with the Lord. In other words, we don’t need external improvement to experience internal enrichment.

Today God gave me a burst of internal enrichment through one of these friends.* “Beth” and her husband “Ron” are part of a program called Safe Families, giving temporary safe shelter to a child whose family is in crisis. The hope is that with a little short-term help, the parents can become a safe family themselves.

Beth and Ron never know when they’ll get a call to pick up a child in need. They don’t know if it’ll be a boy, a girl, a baby, a pre- schooler, or an older child. They can’t predict if he/she will be difficult or compliant, but they aren’t particular about those details. They love them all.

Safe families welcome children for as little as 2 days or as long as a year. As our group listened to Beth’s stories, someone said, “How difficult it must be to be separated from your parents, then separated again from your safe family.”

“I know,” Beth said. “But even if we have a child for just a short time, once we’ve met them, they go on our permanent prayer list.”

Bonk.

(That’s the sound of God hitting me over the head with something new.)

It’s possible that the steady, scriptural, far-reaching prayer poured into the lives of these particular children is the real reason God moves them in and out of Beth and Ron’s home, more important than the 2 weeks or 2 months of care they give them.

For example, little “Sammy” who’s with them now for just a short time, will be prayed over for 2 decades or more, as long as Beth and Ron live. They fully believe God can do what people cannot, and on that basis, when they say goodbye to their young charges, they have high hopes for their futures.

That exchange — 2 weeks in their home for 20 years of prayer — is one that will benefit the children in astounding ways, through their rest of their lives.

“The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going [for example, in and out of Beth and Ron’s home], both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:7-8)

* [This dear friend has asked that I not use her real name.]

Ok. You lead.

Posted on September 11, 2013 by Margaret

When our Nelson was two years old, he was dynamite, and I wasn’t the best mother for this headstrong, impulsive child, being a first-timer with no experience. For example, I remember one day when the two of us visited my aunt for lunch. She lived in a high-rise building on a busy four-lane street. After lunch, as we walked outside, little Nelson (who loved cars and trucks) saw the whizzing traffic and made a bee-line for the street.

“Nelson!” I shouted. “NELSON!” But he was a boy on a mission, passionate about pursuing his own plan, and didn’t look back. Dropping my bags and racing after him, I could see he was going to get to the street before I could get to him, and I was desperate to stop him.

Nate and I had tried to teach this little boy about the dangers of traffic. We’d done our best to lead him sensibly, counting on him to trust our wisdom over his own. But as all two year olds know, their personal agendas trump parental ones.

But what about us adults? Are we any different in our dealings with God? What does it take for us to set our own plans aside and sincerely say to him, “Ok. You lead.”

It’s very possible God sees us as we see our children. He has the ability to teach us how to live well and lead us one step at a time in that direction. And since he’s God, there’s no question his leadership is superior to ours. Despite that, though, we often choose to do our own thing rather than his.

None of us would argue with the idea that God is a fabulous leader, not just of individuals but also of families, churches, businesses, and governments. We can find a variety of scriptural examples showing us what happens when people follow his lead and what happens when they don’t.

“See those?” he says. “So how ’bout we do it my way?” And yet we still refuse.

It’s not that we doubt him as a leader. We all know he has both the ability and the longing to direct us perfectly. The problem comes with his one prerequisite: surrendering self-management. And even a two year old can tell you, that doesn’t come easy.

When Nelson was dashing pell-mell toward high speed traffic, I was frantic to stop him before he got hit by a car. All I could think to do was shout the only word I knew might stop him:

“CANDY!”

Nelson heard it, stopped at curb, and turned in my direction. It was just enough time for me to arrive and grab him, the perfect case of my leadership being superior to his. Surrendering his personal car-truck agenda for my candy-plan gave him the best outcome by far.

Now, if only the rest of us would routinely do the same with the Lord.

“We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do…. so that we will grow up healthy in God.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)

Loud and Clear

Posted on September 3, 2013 by Margaret

All children crave the full attention of both parents, especially when other children are around. “Watch me! Watch me again! Watch me now! Watch me this time!”

Since most families have multiple children, each has to figure out how to rise above the others in order to get the one-on-one attention they need. Some do it by raising their volume: “WATCH ME!” Others use repetition: “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Still others get physical, tugging at mommy or poking at daddy.

While visiting my British relatives recently, I enjoyed watching yet another way to get focused attention: raising the pitch. Three year old Evelyn, a little girl with 3 brothers, has learned how not to get lost in the tussle for parental attention: she talks in a higher range than anyone else.

Each morning during my visit, as I listened to Hans coaching his children through the morning routine, there was no mistaking Evelyn’s voice. It’s a mystery how she hits such conversational high notes, and if it weren’t for her well-pronounced words, she could pass for a songbird. But by using a very high voice, she accomplishes her goal, which is to be acknowledged by the grown-ups in her life.

It’s comforting to know that when we want God’s attention, none of us has to shout, “Watch me!” He’s watching ‘round the clock already, and not only that but is listening, too, as if each of us is his only child. How nice to know we don’t have to raise our volume, our frequency, or our pitch to coax him to look our way.

During my last breakfast with the British Nymans, three year old Thomas said, “Daddy, I would like a banana.”

As Hans reached for the fruit bowl, Thomas changed his mind. “I mean a nectarine.”

“Which is it?” Hans said.

“A banana.”

Then, wanting to hold his daddy’s attention a while longer, he pushed his banana away and said, “But I want a nectarine.”

“You asked for a banana,” Hans said, sliding the banana back to him, “and that’s what you’ll eat.”

As Thomas began to object, Evelyn chimed in, using her highest songbird voice, and said, “Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.”

Evelyn’s intention was to take the parental focus off Thomas and put it on herself, which she did. But without realizing it, she did something else, too. She brought God’s Word into the mix with her statement, letting us know that while God is watching and listening to us, he wants us to watch and listen to him, too.