Category Archives: Parenting

Happy Birthday, Nate…

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Every year on your birthday I look forward to writing you, even though I know my letter can’t be delivered. In the back of my mind, though, there’s always the possibility that by God’s doing, you just might be able to read it.

Only 64In thinking back on this past year, I realize I haven’t had a single dream about you. I’ve talked with other widows who occasionally “meet” their men in dreams and cherish these encounters as if they were real events. I confess I too have put my head on the pillow hoping you might appear that night, but it hasn’t happened recently.

That’s ok, though, because the few times we’ve met in dreams ended with your contented departure and my fretful resistance to it. But if I could meet you for real, I’d ask about every detail of your life in Paradise. Scripture tells me you’re in the presence of Jesus, surely a rich place of worship and learning.

When Jesus was on earth, he taught crowds of people who often scratched their heads in confusion at what he said. But I’ll bet you understand him perfectly now. How glorious!

As far as your earthly family goes, last week I gained another birthday increase, once again celebrating without my birthday buddy. But I’m getting used to it, since you’ve been gone for nearly 4 years. I still don’t like it, but I no longer cry.

Our family continues to expand with the birth of grandson Andrew Kenneth last spring. With 4 children ages 4 and under, Katy and Hans sure do lead lively lives, but they’re well organized and tackle all of it together. You’d be proud of this son of yours, once so disorganized but now efficient and productive. I’ve just spent a week and a half with them, and it’s a good thing I took my vitamins before I got there!

When I write to you next summer, Linnea and Adam’s fourth baby (due in January) will have revealed his or her name, face, and personality. They’re hoping it will be another smooth home birth, and I’m hoping to be part of it! We’ll miss you in a special way as we rejoice over that new little life.

The rest of your family is thriving in multiple categories, although none of your kids or kids-in-law are free of challenges. Three are job-hunting, one is a full time university student, several are financially tight, one is about to launch a web site, and one has been offered a teaching position in missions.

Most importantly, each is steadily walking toward God. None of them have taken the giant leap you have, right into his presence, but none of them is standing still either. And it’s a daily encouragement that while you’re living face-to-face with Jesus and other believers in Paradise, Jesus is also living with us, through his Spirit.

Touching youI miss you every day, Nate, and am earnestly looking forward to the time when faith in Christ will become sight of him, because then we’ll all be together.

But for now, please remember how much I love you.

From the one you used to call “your Meg.”

You decide.

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Brand newWhen a new baby comes into the world, his or her needs must all be met by someone else. Newborns have no ability to help themselves, and if a baby bottle of nourishing milk was lying an inch from his or her mouth but wasn’t fed by someone else, the little one would starve.

Because of that complete helplessness, parenthood is a massive undertaking. Moms and dads can choose to do a thorough job or none at all, though thankfully most choose wisely and care well for their little ones.

 

Deciding what she'll hearSlowly but surely children take over the pieces of their lives, starting with holding up their own heads. Later they sit, crawl, walk, and feed themselves. But for many years, what they see, hear, taste, and touch is controlled by parents.

Why did God set it up this way? Why are babies so helpless and parents so powerful?

Surely he wanted families to bond, and serving the needs of another is a good way to start. (Babies are especially good at forcing that one.) But the best possible reason God did it that way was his wanting us to mimic his fatherly role in our earthly parenting so we’ll better understand why he fathers the way he does. That reasoning works with both the pluses and minuses of a parent-child relationship.

As parents we learn to love our children intensely (as he loves us) and discipline them fairly (as he does us). We figure out how to provide for our kids (as he provides for us) and learn to let them make mistakes (as he does with us).

These parenting parallels and many others help us understand God and his ways a bit better than we otherwise might. Even if we haven’t had children, referring back to our own childhoods is a good way to better appreciate our bond with God the Father. And it’s especially helpful when life isn’t going our way.

TantrumWe don’t like the negatives, the same way a child doesn’t like to be told no. But when we consider that most of our no’s to children are for their own good, it gets easier to cooperate with (and eventually appreciate) God’s no’s to us.

And as we let our children pay the painful natural consequences of their decisions, whether it’s a toddler’s or a teen’s poor choice, it dawns on us that many of the messes we still get into as adults are our own doing, too. And God lets us foolishly move into them “for our own good.” Stumbling through miserable natural consequences of mistakes we’ve made is a guarantee we’ll do better next time.

Eventually our kids do grow into conscientious adults. We aren’t responsible for them after they turn 21, but as we all know, none of them are left out in the cold after they launch. Instead, God takes over from there. And what happens after that can be exciting to watch…. in their lives and in our own!

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)    [….which applies to the adult children of God, too!]

Crawling Along

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Emerald at 8 monthsEight month old Emerald has accomplished a great deal in her short life, learning to recognize people, communicate in different ways, speak her first word (ma-ma), sit up, shake musical instruments, and eat solids. Since she’s checking off her milestones in the usual order, her next accomplishment will be crawling.

Already she does “the bridge,” a hands-and-knees crawling-lookalike, but so far it’s gone nowhere, though that’s not to say she doesn’t move. She’s perfected the belly-swivel and can do a 360 spin with excellence.

I remember when my firstborn was 8 months and was stuck in one spot just as Emerald is now. I figured he was frustrated and decided to teach him to crawl. Every day I worked with him on the carpet, moving his arms and legs in left-right crawling positions, showing him how.

Crawling!

As I continued tutoring him (which resembled a strange type of physical therapy), he’d often plop chin-first onto the rug, unable to coordinate his 4 limbs. Several weeks later, when he began to crawling for real, I beamed with pride at my young student, patting myself on the back for his success.

No one told me he would have crawled on his own, had I never worked with him. An experienced parent would have known that, and as my other 6 children came along and crawled by themselves, I learned it too. God is the One who programmed babies to crawl and later walk, wonderful gifts, but that doesn’t mean the process is easy for them. Each one has to develop persistence, working hard at it day after day, falling and failing again and again.

Our heavenly Parent does something similar with us. He saves our souls and then lets us work at becoming Christ-like. Unlike learning to crawl or walk, this isn’t a task that can be successfully checked off a list. It’s an effort that lasts a lifetime.

But just as God programs children to crawl and walk, he programs us with something, too. The 17th century philosopher Pascal called it “a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man” that can only be filled by Christ. And that’s what’s drawing us when we begin a relationship with Jesus. We find ourselves desiring to become more like him. But just as a baby struggles to crawl and walk, we must persist in our efforts to walk in righteousness. When we do, God is pleased.

Pre-crawling

As for Emerald and her non-crawling, we’ve found the solution: to encircle her with toys so that as she swivels, she always has something fun to do. One of these days, though, she’ll crawl right out of that circle…. because that’s what God programmed her to do.

“Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (Philippians 2:12-13)